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oregonblitzkrieg
Member Posts: 15,288
Just got a call from THE VLAD 5 days ago and told me I was to show up in Siberia.
@StrongArmCobra had stuff to do, so I had him stay with you.
@RuffaloSolider went with me and @StrongArmCobra is staying
with you.
After hanging up on Putin I called Uber and axed them to send us a driver. They sent a short, fat, swarthy fellow named @haie. I tipped him Sven's twenty and he dropped us off at the Aeroflot terminal. We flew to Novosibirsk via Manchester Airport, and rendezvoused with our Russian contact Yevgeny at half past two the next day. He is 6'5" 260 lb former red army ranger and Soviet foosball player. You don't want any in real life.
After a round of vodka and some lap dances at a private club, Yev informed @RuffaloSoldier and I that a prisoner, one AZDuck, had broken out of the gulag several months ago and had gotten lost in the Russian wilderness. He proceeded to recount a harrowing tale of the reprobate's misadventures, which the Spetsnaz has ordered I apprise you of now.
After escaping the gulag AZDuck:
Wandered aimlessly for weeks and weeks
Got plungered by the elements
Gurgled and nearly drowned
Stole a hoss from the Cossacks
Fought grizzlies and won
Smoked horse shit from a pipe
AZQuook was arrested in the port city of Vladivostok 2 weeks ago. He had nothing on him except for a moldy sammich, a photo of Mario Cristobal, a PAC 12 network schedule and a 3rd class railway ticket to Peking. Vladimir wanted you to know that he's now in custody. He's here and he's queer, and he wants him to LEAVE. He wants to calm that place down and get it back to normal. You're making it harder to do so. He's asking you to help him out.
#FreeAZQuook
@StrongArmCobra had stuff to do, so I had him stay with you.
@RuffaloSolider went with me and @StrongArmCobra is staying
with you.
After hanging up on Putin I called Uber and axed them to send us a driver. They sent a short, fat, swarthy fellow named @haie. I tipped him Sven's twenty and he dropped us off at the Aeroflot terminal. We flew to Novosibirsk via Manchester Airport, and rendezvoused with our Russian contact Yevgeny at half past two the next day. He is 6'5" 260 lb former red army ranger and Soviet foosball player. You don't want any in real life.
After a round of vodka and some lap dances at a private club, Yev informed @RuffaloSoldier and I that a prisoner, one AZDuck, had broken out of the gulag several months ago and had gotten lost in the Russian wilderness. He proceeded to recount a harrowing tale of the reprobate's misadventures, which the Spetsnaz has ordered I apprise you of now.
After escaping the gulag AZDuck:
Wandered aimlessly for weeks and weeks
Got plungered by the elements
Gurgled and nearly drowned
Stole a hoss from the Cossacks
Fought grizzlies and won
Smoked horse shit from a pipe
AZQuook was arrested in the port city of Vladivostok 2 weeks ago. He had nothing on him except for a moldy sammich, a photo of Mario Cristobal, a PAC 12 network schedule and a 3rd class railway ticket to Peking. Vladimir wanted you to know that he's now in custody. He's here and he's queer, and he wants him to LEAVE. He wants to calm that place down and get it back to normal. You're making it harder to do so. He's asking you to help him out.
#FreeAZQuook
Comments
@DerekIsKim
@DerekReallyIsKim
@Dereks_75k_lover
Unless I've lost my mind...it's pure gibberish