Is that Baccelia? I think he busted double-coverage. You know what? Fuck it. I'm throwing it downfield.
Yeah, I see Chico open on the flank. But fuck that. Dumpoff passes are for faggots. I'm fucking Sexy Jacob Eason. I can get that ball in there. And, even if I can't, I bet I'll be able to pull it off the next go round. I like throwing the ball long. It makes my dick hard.
What's that? I should throw a quick slant? Fuck that. That's gay. Button hook? Gay. Flare out? Gay. Screen pass? Kevin Spacey gay. This is fucking football. You can't just expect wins to come to you. You can't massage that shit. You gotta grab that game by the throat and rape the ever-loving shit out of it. You think a 5-yard out is gonna win you a game? You're a pussy. This ain't Jake Browning running this offense. Sexy Jacob's got the arm. The dragon. You gotta unleash the dragon.
Okay, I'm throwing it. Nice. Look how far it went. I look good. I bet I made that Eastern cheerleader wet her panties with that throw. She fucking wants me. I bet she likes it over a stair railing. I can hit that with 100% accuracy, my dear. Mmmmmm. I am delicious.
Tell me that wasn’t one of the prettiest passes you ever saw. You know what? Not only am I gonna throw it long the next time we hit the field. I’m gonna throw it even longer. Harder. You see that senile, golden locked loser in the wheelchair sitting in the end zone bleachers? I’m gonna nail him right between the fucking eyes with a Sexy Jacob fastball. Why? Because I can.
This is Jacob Eason we’re talking about here. We’re talking 227 lbs. of twisted steel and sex appeal. I’m not just a gunslinger. I’m a cumslinger. Throwing that ball long tells all the Easonettes that I am fucking out there. On the edge. Where I gotta be. The ladies love the danger. The unpredictability. Oh, maybe I’ll tease them with a pretty touch pass every now and again. But then I’m gonna go right back to pumping that ball out for all it’s worth. It tells them I throw like I fuck. That’s how we do things in the sexy business.
Is this Jay Cutler or Rex Grossman copy pasta? I can't remember where it started. I want to say Rex.
Is that Baccelia? I think he busted double-coverage. You know what? Fuck it. I'm throwing it downfield.
Yeah, I see Chico open on the flank. But fuck that. Dumpoff passes are for faggots. I'm fucking Sexy Jacob Eason. I can get that ball in there. And, even if I can't, I bet I'll be able to pull it off the next go round. I like throwing the ball long. It makes my dick hard.
What's that? I should throw a quick slant? Fuck that. That's gay. Button hook? Gay. Flare out? Gay. Screen pass? Kevin Spacey gay. This is fucking football. You can't just expect wins to come to you. You can't massage that shit. You gotta grab that game by the throat and rape the ever-loving shit out of it. You think a 5-yard out is gonna win you a game? You're a pussy. This ain't Jake Browning running this offense. Sexy Jacob's got the arm. The dragon. You gotta unleash the dragon.
Okay, I'm throwing it. Nice. Look how far it went. I look good. I bet I made that Eastern cheerleader wet her panties with that throw. She fucking wants me. I bet she likes it over a stair railing. I can hit that with 100% accuracy, my dear. Mmmmmm. I am delicious.
Tell me that wasn’t one of the prettiest passes you ever saw. You know what? Not only am I gonna throw it long the next time we hit the field. I’m gonna throw it even longer. Harder. You see that senile, golden locked loser in the wheelchair sitting in the end zone bleachers? I’m gonna nail him right between the fucking eyes with a Sexy Jacob fastball. Why? Because I can.
This is Jacob Eason we’re talking about here. We’re talking 227 lbs. of twisted steel and sex appeal. I’m not just a gunslinger. I’m a cumslinger. Throwing that ball long tells all the Easonettes that I am fucking out there. On the edge. Where I gotta be. The ladies love the danger. The unpredictability. Oh, maybe I’ll tease them with a pretty touch pass every now and again. But then I’m gonna go right back to pumping that ball out for all it’s worth. It tells them I throw like I fuck. That’s how we do things in the sexy business.
Welcome, Skinny. Always a special thrill to have the starting QB hanging out.
I hope they call a trap on the 1st play of the game and Kirkland mauls this dorky charub looking mutherfucker and drives his candy ass into the Husky Stadium fieldturf. Punish this motherfucker.
I hope they call a trap on the 1st play of the game and Kirkland mauls this dorky charub looking mutherfucker and drives his candy ass into the Husky Stadium fieldturf. Punish this motherfucker.
I hope they call a trap on the 1st play of the game and Kirkland mauls this dorky charub looking mutherfucker and drives his candy ass into the Husky Stadium fieldturf. Punish this motherfucker.
This game is a candidate for Pete's annual boneheaded loss to a team he shouldn't lose to. Arizona is the other. Pete can't compete with the teams from the desert. 10-2 is the ceiling for the season. You'll beat USC or Oregon, but not both. Take your pick.
This game is a candidate for Pete's annual boneheaded loss to a team he shouldn't lose to. Arizona is the other. Pete can't compete with the teams from the desert. 10-2 is the ceiling for the season. You'll beat USC or Oregon, but not both. Take your pick.
We don’t lose at home hth.
Furd is the game we could lose if KJ Costello isn’t fucked by then
I hope they call a trap on the 1st play of the game and Kirkland mauls this dorky charub looking mutherfucker and drives his candy ass into the Husky Stadium fieldturf. Punish this motherfucker.
This game is a candidate for Pete's annual boneheaded loss to a team he shouldn't lose to. Arizona is the other. Pete can't compete with the teams from the desert. 10-2 is the ceiling for the season. You'll beat USC or Oregon, but not both. Take your pick.
If we lose to a team we shouldn't this year it's Arizona thanks to said desert.
Stanford's a coin flip.
We're not losing to SC or Oregon GTFO with that shit.
This game is a candidate for Pete's annual boneheaded loss to a team he shouldn't lose to. Arizona is the other. Pete can't compete with the teams from the desert. 10-2 is the ceiling for the season. You'll beat USC or Oregon, but not both. Take your pick.
If we lose to a team we shouldn't this year it's Arizona thanks to said desert.
Stanford's a coin flip.
We're not losing to SC or Oregon GTFO with that shit.
Comments
The chick, on the other hand. . .
This year marks the return to always beating Cal.
Have fun
Furd is the game we could lose if KJ Costello isn’t fucked by then
You expect him to say gosh golly, we're gonna lose?
The sandy vag is strong here this week
Stanford's a coin flip.
We're not losing to SC or Oregon GTFO with that shit.