“Not too worried,” said Gertrude Whang of Folsom California when asked if she was worried about losing her starting position to Jake Browning in the coming year. “We love Jack here in city, he make many point for high school sports team, he strike like Cobra.” Whang, 83, has been a seven year fry flipper for McDonald’s and is known by her co-workers as a hard worker and dedicated to her job; with the recent performance of Jake Browning that could all change.
“With the recent performance of Jake (Browning) most are seeing him fall off the CFL’s radar and are projecting no better than a fight for 15 performance here flipping fries,” said manager Tyler Miles. “The problem is Gertrude already maintains that starting spot.”
“Jack no stand heat, here with fries it very hot, very hot, where Jack run to when he feel heat in kitchen? No room!” When politely thanked Gertrude didn’t stop there and pressed on, “83, I flip fry all day, you think Jack maintain arm strength to flip? No, Cobra no more, he have arm floppy like Gardner, go catch mouse.”
When asked if Gertrude had any advice for this year’s Washington Huskies she stated, “Too many Jacks, like famous saying ‘Jack be nimble Jack be quick, Jack fumble 25 yards behind the first down stick.’ Why you no start good Jack? Start Haener.”
Browning is still expected to win the starting job next year.
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