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List Of Demands

AZDuckAZDuck Member Posts: 15,381
https://youtu.be/zDMtaIcrfQ0

I want my money back. I'm down here drowning in your fat. You got me on my knees praying for everything you lack. I ain't afraid of you. I'm just a victim of your fears. You cower in your tower praying that I'll disappear, I got another plan, one that requires me to stand.

@DerekJohnson, @DerekIsKim @DerekReallyIsKim @Dereks_75k_lover @cfettersnacholover, @Dennis_DeYoung ,@CokeGreaterThanPepsi

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I got a list of demands written on the palm of my hands. I ball my fist and you're gonna know where I stand. We're living hand to mouth! You wanna be somebody? See somebody? Try and free somebody? I gotta list of demands written on the palm of my hands. I ball my fist and you're gonna know where I stand.


The doogery on these boreds has gotten way the fuck out of hand. What’s fucking bizarre is that some of you assholes act like it’s me. I think I’ve been abundantly clear that new coaches get their LIFPO honeymoon, except Helfrich, because fuck that guy, but then he got a “benefit of the doubt” from me after the 2014 championship gayme.

I wrote a song for you today while I was sitting in my room. I jumped up on my bed today and played it on a broom. I didn't think that it would be a song that you would hear, but when I played it in my head, I made you reappear.


UW’s experience =/= Oregon’s. Helfrich isn’t Lambright or Gilby, Willie Lyles-Taggart or Cristoballz aren’t Sark or Neuheisel. Chip wasn’t and isn’t Don James. Both schools and programs have their respective strengths and weaknesses, and neither can perfectly replicate the other.


Ecstacy, suffering, Echinacea, bufferin. We aim to remember what we choose to forget.


Washington has historically modeled itself, for good or ill, on the old-skool Midwest Big Ten powers like Michigan and Ohio State. Big research schools, urban settings, all that jazz. Oregon dropped that model after Rich Brooks’ 20-year quest to lose a Rose Bowl. Oregon has money, Oregon has a brand. A buddy of mine who went to U. of Minnesota told me this weekend: “man, Oregon doesn’t even have to try to get great recruits. They just show up there.” Anyone who’s followed Oregon football for more than a few minutes knows THAT’s not the case at all. But he’s right about one ting. Oregon’s got a brand that people in Minneapolis recognize. Even after 4-8 and 7-6.

Call the police! I'm strapped to the teeth and liable to disregard your every belief. Call on the law! I'm fixin' to draw a line between what is and seems and call up a brawl. Call'em up now! 'cause it's about to go pow! I'm standing on the threshold of the ups and the downs. Call up a truce! 'cause I'm about to bust loose. Protect ya neck, 'cause, son, I'm breaking out of my noose.


But none of that is really the fucking point. The point is that these boreds have gotten really fucking lame. If you’ve ever nodded and said “StrongArm (Roof) really has a point there,” you might have engaged in this kind of faggotry.

I get that you homos are going to #DoogItUp from time to time. You’re entitled. Peterman looks to be a pretty damn good corch. Ya’ll beat the hell out of us? two years in a row. But don’t act you faggots don’t like talking about (and mentally tearing down) whOregon (lol!).

So without further adoo, my LIST OF DEMANDS:



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(1). There are too many fucking boreds. Get rid of (most) of them.

Keep the Wam, a non-football sports bored, the record shoppe, recruiting, and main football bored. I don’t like to click to seven different boreds depending on what kind of faggotry is being talked about. If Chico State does something interesting/funny/stupid that is football related, it should be on the footballz bored.



(2). The Tug should be the proxy for the Friday Sacrifice.

If you poast more than three threads on the Tug per day, you get insta-banned. If you respond more than ten times to a thread you didn’t start (except the NK news, massage and stuff that doesn’t go anywhere else threds), no warning, just gone.



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(3). Real porn in the Wam.

Look, I already didn’t go to the Wam at work because tits. Nobody else can see the damn thing because it’s membership-only. So make it more fun. Also, it *could* become simultaneously the higher and lower discussion bored this place so desperately needs.

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(4) Haze the fucking Doogman refugees moar.

There’s way too many faggots here right now that don’t get what this place was supposed to be. Clearly Derek went #moneygrab rather than #closethegates, and that’s his prerogative, but if you’ve been a member for less than a year/have fewer than 1000 poasts you are still a fucking n00b and your thoughts, opinions, and even right to breathe is suspect.

(5) Fucking Section14aFS type noob Doogs Need to be Beaten.

@TheGhost206, @Sources, @HorrifyinglyAlluring, @jhfstyle24, @BlastDoor, @SyphilisButter,

(6) Some of you assholes who have been hear for a while have been dooging it up a bit. Tighten up your game, homos.

@dnc, @Swaye, @UWDoogBot, etc.

(7) If you ever said “hardy har har, you’re on a UW bored your so obsessed,” set yourself on fire toot sweet.



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(8) Some of you have always been Doogs, but you’ve been kept in check. Ya’ll need to check yourselves or maybe just take a long walk on the beach (or off the Aurora Bridge) for some fucking perspective. I love ya, but stop being quite so fucktarded.

@BananasandBlondes; @Gladstone, @whatshouldicareabout, @BaldwinIV

(9) Take a look at the Doogery Field Reference Guide.

If you ever said that “whOregon (lol!) is back in its rightful place,” or BONEM, Iron Laws, or “trust the coaches,” you might be a Doog.

Got it?

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Comments

  • SourcesSources Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 4,004 Founders Club

    We? Made fun of Sark and all his bullshit constantly when he was here. All the Ducks loved to join in. Now that the tables have turned it seems to be getting under the quooks skin.

    Nothings changed with us...

    It's a harder pill to swallow when you're reverting to 7 win seasons after a strong decade.
  • FireCohenFireCohen Member Posts: 21,823
    Hurtful, I didn’t get a s/o
  • UW_Doog_BotUW_Doog_Bot Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 15,824 Swaye's Wigwam
    Free Pub Bitches!
  • BasemanBaseman Member Posts: 12,366
    edited August 2018
    Get a shitty little badge then pop off!
  • GladstoneGladstone Member Posts: 16,419
    AZDuck's heel quook turn has been low key one of the funnier and surprising things this offseason. After 10+ years of being on the other side as the Duck HHB. After doing the same exact thing with Taggart. After hiring a failed fratbro coach after the players hijacked the AD. At least OBK is self-aware and funny.

    Employ Cristobal forever.
  • GladstoneGladstone Member Posts: 16,419
    OK I'm reading it and I strongly agree with the board oversaturation. I always thought there should be 2 boards for football talk, recruiting and general.
  • ThomasFremontThomasFremont Member Posts: 13,325
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