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89ute
Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 2,477 
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@89ute do you even Twinkie bro?
One thing I realized about marathon runners: they are all slow strategy. It’s not enough for them to just be hot and fuck bitches because they’re hot. They need a goal that seems vaguely pro-social, but it’s really just all about them putting fucking stickers on their car and telling other white people about how fucked up their body is, even though the basic goal is just to be healthy.
It’s always puzzled me though. Where the fuck are you running to? Not even any place great. When I was 15 I walked from Lynwood to Shoreline to get laid. That’s a fucking goal.
What is this shit?
You spend all your fucking free time for a year running back and forth like a jackass, ruining your feet and knees, so that you can, what? Run somewhere on some particular day with a bunch of other stupid fucks who you don’t know and are so boring their whole life is just fucking running places for no reason?
And then take a fucking car back!!! Why don’t you just stay in the same place?
FS: What did you do today Connor?
SS: Oh, I ran 26.2 miles in one direction!
FS: WOW, holy shit, did you get stranded or something and need to tell someone about a plot to kill them?
SS: No, I just stopped when I got there and dopey family drove me back home in our Subaru.
FS: Why don’t you spend your time helping blind kids or some shit?
The guy who ran the first fucking marathon died for fuck’s sake.
You run 26 fucking miles and then you take a car back. And you trained a year to do it and it takes fucking hours to run. And then you just go home. You haven’t seen anything and there’s not like a beer or some amazing piece of ass at the end of the rainbow. It’s just you collapse and your dumb fucking family just drives you home and you talk about how fucked up you were feeling along the way.
That’s not an interesting story you dumb fucks. @Swaye’s Marsupial Guernica story is a story that involved feeling fucked up too, but weirdly, that one was funny and interesting.
Your story is: for a year I just ran back and forth and then one day I ran 26 miles in one direction and it felt bad.
Super duper!
You would’ve thought this shit was out as soon as horses were mounted, but that’s how fucking retarded slow strategy people are.