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Superbowl XLXLXLXLLLIIVIII Preview

Eagles jump out to a big first half lead. Call it 29-3 this year. Justin Timberlake nip slip at half.

Little by little every player is taken off the field in accordance with CTE protocol, except Tom Brady and Center. Tom deflates the ball and leads his team down the field unopposed for a late comeback. Adam Vinatieri comes out of retirement to kick the game winning FG. What a game.

The game ends with a full scale riot by Philly phans. Minnesota residents stand by as their shops are covered in vomit and other assorted bodily waste, remarking "Yah you betcha" and "Dontcha knooow". They kindly furnish the angry Philly fans with more grain alcohol and let them borrow their long boats and hockey sticks.

The NFL cuts to a Peyton Manning commercial, only it isn't a real commercial at all. He is eating Papa John pizza on live TV handing the trophy to Tom Brady with his stupid sheepish grin and folksy way of speaking. Belichick creeps out from the shadows to emit a villainous laugh. Peyton scurries away humming the Nationwide Insurance jingle, making sure to watch his back on the way out. The Daytona 500 starts up right there in the stadium. Danica Patrick wins and everyone is inspired.

The end.
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Comments

  • Captain_Insano
    Captain_Insano Member Posts: 156

    How long did it take you to type all that? Took me 1 second to not read it and about 10 more to tell you about it.

    I spent several sleepless nights penning this masterpiece.

    Your welcome.
  • haie
    haie Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 24,739 Founders Club
    What a gay game and league. One team got Big Game Marcus and Jacksonville at home to get to the championship, the other got Sark and a loser franchise at home to make the championship.
  • Captain_Insano
    Captain_Insano Member Posts: 156
    haie said:

    What a gay game and league. One team got Big Game Marcus and Jacksonville at home to get to the championship, the other got Sark and a loser franchise at home to make the championship.

    Everything sucks and it's easy to get to the championship game.

    Steaming hot dump of a take.
  • haie
    haie Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 24,739 Founders Club

    haie said:

    What a gay game and league. One team got Big Game Marcus and Jacksonville at home to get to the championship, the other got Sark and a loser franchise at home to make the championship.

    Everything sucks and it's easy to get to the championship game.

    Steaming hot dump of a take.
    It *was* easy to get to the championship game.

    Condolences to your shit franchise becoming shit again, btw.
  • Captain_Insano
    Captain_Insano Member Posts: 156
    haie said:

    haie said:

    What a gay game and league. One team got Big Game Marcus and Jacksonville at home to get to the championship, the other got Sark and a loser franchise at home to make the championship.

    Everything sucks and it's easy to get to the championship game.

    Steaming hot dump of a take.
    It *was* easy to get to the championship game.

    Condolences to your shit franchise becoming shit again, btw.
    No it wasn't. It's the NFL. The highest level of the game.

    Nice to know that I own a franchise now. Thanks for the heads up! I'm sure we will be fine next year. Getting to the big game is a piece of cake!
  • haie
    haie Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 24,739 Founders Club

    haie said:

    haie said:

    What a gay game and league. One team got Big Game Marcus and Jacksonville at home to get to the championship, the other got Sark and a loser franchise at home to make the championship.

    Everything sucks and it's easy to get to the championship game.

    Steaming hot dump of a take.
    It *was* easy to get to the championship game.

    Condolences to your shit franchise becoming shit again, btw.
    Nice to know that I own a franchise now. Thanks for the heads up!
    Dawgman level faggotry.
  • Captain_Insano
    Captain_Insano Member Posts: 156
    haie said:

    haie said:

    haie said:

    What a gay game and league. One team got Big Game Marcus and Jacksonville at home to get to the championship, the other got Sark and a loser franchise at home to make the championship.

    Everything sucks and it's easy to get to the championship game.

    Steaming hot dump of a take.
    It *was* easy to get to the championship game.

    Condolences to your shit franchise becoming shit again, btw.
    Nice to know that I own a franchise now. Thanks for the heads up!
    Dawgman level faggotry.
    Oh come on now... Don't be so hard on yourself!

    You like to jump on fresh meat and say the NFL sucks and it's easy to make the Superbowl. I appreciate your modesty but, that's at LEAST Ru Paul drag show level of faggotry.