I got a gym membership last week after moving and the well spoken lad who did the paperwork was making the usual sales small talk and found out I was originally from Worshington. He was really a natural at it. Could have used more study of the materials but you know
He said his dad was an alum of the UW. 81% of you fucks would have asked him if he played football there. Not being racist I didn't say anything. Then he says his dad got his masters there as well in some academis pursuit that meant he probably didn't play football. Phew!
He asks me about the HAWKS and I said I am a DAWG fan like your dad probably is. Oh he sure is.
Then the kid says he played football at Fresno State (he is selling gym memberships not that there is anything wrong with that) and he played against my DAWGS.
I go that had to have been this century since your a youngster. He confirms. I said we really sucked this century but we are BACK now baby. I assumed that no matter how bad we sucked we still beat FRESNO STATE.
After I left I got to thinking that we probably did not beat them and he was talking smack without blowing the sale and I MISSED it.
So I just googled it now to make this post and we got our ass beat and get this - we play FRESNO STATE this year!!! I had no fucking idea. That's how far I have fallen.
Pumpy goes from memory and all you fags run to google.
The only thing worse than gym membership upsell guy is GAP insurance guy.
I got a gym membership last week after moving and the well spoken lad who did the paperwork was making the usual sales small talk and found out I was originally from Worshington. He was really a natural at it. Could have used more study of the materials but you know
He said his dad was an alum of the UW. 81% of you fucks would have asked him if he played football there. Not being racist I didn't say anything. Then he says his dad got his masters there as well in some academis pursuit that meant he probably didn't play football. Phew!
He asks me about the HAWKS and I said I am a DAWG fan like your dad probably is. Oh he sure is.
Then the kid says he played football at Fresno State (he is selling gym memberships not that there is anything wrong with that) and he played against my DAWGS.
I go that had to have been this century since your a youngster. He confirms. I said we really sucked this century but we are BACK now baby. I assumed that no matter how bad we sucked we still beat FRESNO STATE.
After I left I got to thinking that we probably did not beat them and he was talking smack without blowing the sale and I MISSED it.
So I just googled it now to make this post and we got our ass beat and get this - we play FRESNO STATE this year!!! I had no fucking idea. That's how far I have fallen.
Pumpy goes from memory and all you fags run to google.
One of the best posts I have ever read here. Not sure if that says your post is awesome or this place sucks ass.
I got a gym membership last week after moving and the well spoken lad who did the paperwork was making the usual sales small talk and found out I was originally from Worshington. He was really a natural at it. Could have used more study of the materials but you know
He said his dad was an alum of the UW. 81% of you fucks would have asked him if he played football there. Not being racist I didn't say anything. Then he says his dad got his masters there as well in some academis pursuit that meant he probably didn't play football. Phew!
He asks me about the HAWKS and I said I am a DAWG fan like your dad probably is. Oh he sure is.
Then the kid says he played football at Fresno State (he is selling gym memberships not that there is anything wrong with that) and he played against my DAWGS.
I go that had to have been this century since your a youngster. He confirms. I said we really sucked this century but we are BACK now baby. I assumed that no matter how bad we sucked we still beat FRESNO STATE.
After I left I got to thinking that we probably did not beat them and he was talking smack without blowing the sale and I MISSED it.
So I just googled it now to make this post and we got our ass beat and get this - we play FRESNO STATE this year!!! I had no fucking idea. That's how far I have fallen.
Pumpy goes from memory and all you fags run to google.
One of the best posts I have ever read here. Not sure if that says your post is awesome or this place sucks ass.
Welcum to the hanging and banging world Race. Few pro tips from gym douche guy
1. Always wear gear that shows you own the fucking place. I suggest these
2. Always chalk up when benching or deadlifting. Gloves are for fags who haven't built up enough calluses. Since your married I'll assume the calluses are pretty thick so this won't be a problem
3. Make sure your exhales are primal, guttural, and audible. Grunts work well, but I find that a little spit enhances the douchiness
4. Never, and I mean never, use a fucking machine. Free weights separate the men from the boys. When you work your lats, grab a 45 plate, put it on a chain, then loop the chain around your neck. It'll feel weird at first, but you'll get used to it. Trust me it'll help with the David Carradine workout routine later
Welcum to the hanging and banging world Race. Few pro tips from gym douche guy
1. Always wear gear that shows you own the fucking place. I suggest these
2. Always chalk up when benching or deadlifting. Gloves are for fags who haven't built up enough calluses. Since your married I'll assume the calluses are pretty thick so this won't be a problem
3. Make sure your exhales are primal, guttural, and audible. Grunts work well, but I find that a little spit enhances the douchiness
4. Never, and I mean never, use a fucking machine. Free weights separate the men from the boys. When you work your lats, grab a 45 plate, put it on a chain, then loop the chain around your neck. It'll feel weird at first, but you'll get used to it. Trust me it'll help with the David Carradine workout routine later
Welcum to the hanging and banging world Race. Few pro tips from gym douche guy
1. Always wear gear that shows you own the fucking place. I suggest these
2. Always chalk up when benching or deadlifting. Gloves are for fags who haven't built up enough calluses. Since your married I'll assume the calluses are pretty thick so this won't be a problem
3. Make sure your exhales are primal, guttural, and audible. Grunts work well, but I find that a little spit enhances the douchiness
4. Never, and I mean never, use a fucking machine. Free weights separate the men from the boys. When you work your lats, grab a 45 plate, put it on a chain, then loop the chain around your neck. It'll feel weird at first, but you'll get used to it. Trust me it'll help with the David Carradine workout routine later
I'm pretty sure the Fresno state game is where Shelton Sampson and stanback celebrated a touchdown by taking off their helmets and shaking their dreads together.
I'm pretty sure the Fresno state game is where Shelton Sampson and stanback celebrated a touchdown by taking off their helmets and shaking their dreads together.
Comments
This gym does have a special weight area where "you can slam them down like your in the Olympics"
I just rolled my eyes
Obviously your not a crossfitter
Snatch
Clean and Jerk
When you start the snatch from thigh level it's the "Hang Snatch"
And there's also a "Power Jerk"
Of course I just put on animal print Danskins and stare at myself in the mirror
1. Always wear gear that shows you own the fucking place. I suggest these
2. Always chalk up when benching or deadlifting. Gloves are for fags who haven't built up enough calluses. Since your married I'll assume the calluses are pretty thick so this won't be a problem
3. Make sure your exhales are primal, guttural, and audible. Grunts work well, but I find that a little spit enhances the douchiness
4. Never, and I mean never, use a fucking machine. Free weights separate the men from the boys. When you work your lats, grab a 45 plate, put it on a chain, then loop the chain around your neck. It'll feel weird at first, but you'll get used to it. Trust me it'll help with the David Carradine workout routine later
5. Fucking profit when you flex on the girly men
Sincerely,
Franz
Trying too hard
It was a dark moment in husky history.