What I'm hearing
Comments
-
New HH motto?
first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender -
I thought HH was an isolated spot.Swaye said:New HH motto?
first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender
-
Dardanus said:
I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go. After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city. Either way I haven't done it in years but every now and then I catch myself gazing wistfully at a flock of birds, cock throbbing and waiting for them to land close to me.
?
-
bumped for this long lost classic.Dardanus said:I sexually identify as Harambe the Lowland Gorilla. Ever since I was a boy I have dreamed of eating fruits and plants in the captivity of a zoo. People say to me that being an endangered Lowland Gorilla is impossible and I'm fucking retarded, but I don't care, I'm a beautiful and strong silverback. I'm having a plastic surgeon install Gorilla arms, legs, torso, and a bulletproof vest on my body. From now on, I want you to call me Harambe and respect my right to eat, live with, and fuck other Gorillas. If you can't accept me you're a Gorilla murdering Zoophobe and you need to check your primate privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
Rip @Dardanus
-
Because I have a strange, fucked-up mind, this reminded me...GrundleStiltzkin said:
bumped for this long lost classic.Dardanus said:I sexually identify as Harambe the Lowland Gorilla. Ever since I was a boy I have dreamed of eating fruits and plants in the captivity of a zoo. People say to me that being an endangered Lowland Gorilla is impossible and I'm fucking retarded, but I don't care, I'm a beautiful and strong silverback. I'm having a plastic surgeon install Gorilla arms, legs, torso, and a bulletproof vest on my body. From now on, I want you to call me Harambe and respect my right to eat, live with, and fuck other Gorillas. If you can't accept me you're a Gorilla murdering Zoophobe and you need to check your primate privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
Rip @Dardanus
-
WOODPurpleBaze said:
Because I have a strange, fucked-up mind, this reminded me...GrundleStiltzkin said:
bumped for this long lost classic.Dardanus said:I sexually identify as Harambe the Lowland Gorilla. Ever since I was a boy I have dreamed of eating fruits and plants in the captivity of a zoo. People say to me that being an endangered Lowland Gorilla is impossible and I'm fucking retarded, but I don't care, I'm a beautiful and strong silverback. I'm having a plastic surgeon install Gorilla arms, legs, torso, and a bulletproof vest on my body. From now on, I want you to call me Harambe and respect my right to eat, live with, and fuck other Gorillas. If you can't accept me you're a Gorilla murdering Zoophobe and you need to check your primate privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
Rip @Dardanus
Mia Khalifa too -
Cockeyed tits and allSwaye said:
WOODPurpleBaze said:
Because I have a strange, fucked-up mind, this reminded me...GrundleStiltzkin said:
bumped for this long lost classic.Dardanus said:I sexually identify as Harambe the Lowland Gorilla. Ever since I was a boy I have dreamed of eating fruits and plants in the captivity of a zoo. People say to me that being an endangered Lowland Gorilla is impossible and I'm fucking retarded, but I don't care, I'm a beautiful and strong silverback. I'm having a plastic surgeon install Gorilla arms, legs, torso, and a bulletproof vest on my body. From now on, I want you to call me Harambe and respect my right to eat, live with, and fuck other Gorillas. If you can't accept me you're a Gorilla murdering Zoophobe and you need to check your primate privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
Rip @Dardanus
Mia Khalifa too -
This is right up there with the meth copy pasta.
-
Oh please! You'd give your left nut to have romance explosion on those tits.GreenRiverGatorz said:
Cockeyed tits and allSwaye said:
WOODPurpleBaze said:
Because I have a strange, fucked-up mind, this reminded me...GrundleStiltzkin said:
bumped for this long lost classic.Dardanus said:I sexually identify as Harambe the Lowland Gorilla. Ever since I was a boy I have dreamed of eating fruits and plants in the captivity of a zoo. People say to me that being an endangered Lowland Gorilla is impossible and I'm fucking retarded, but I don't care, I'm a beautiful and strong silverback. I'm having a plastic surgeon install Gorilla arms, legs, torso, and a bulletproof vest on my body. From now on, I want you to call me Harambe and respect my right to eat, live with, and fuck other Gorillas. If you can't accept me you're a Gorilla murdering Zoophobe and you need to check your primate privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
Rip @Dardanus
Mia Khalifa too -
Free?pubGrundleStiltzkin said:
bumped for this long lost classic.Dardanus said:I sexually identify as Harambe the Lowland Gorilla. Ever since I was a boy I have dreamed of eating fruits and plants in the captivity of a zoo. People say to me that being an endangered Lowland Gorilla is impossible and I'm fucking retarded, but I don't care, I'm a beautiful and strong silverback. I'm having a plastic surgeon install Gorilla arms, legs, torso, and a bulletproof vest on my body. From now on, I want you to call me Harambe and respect my right to eat, live with, and fuck other Gorillas. If you can't accept me you're a Gorilla murdering Zoophobe and you need to check your primate privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
Rip @Dardanus
I know I changed my avatar to seduce you fudgee but I feel like silverbacks make everyone think more you than me...
@backthepack FREE PUB beotch -
Dardanus said:
I sexually identify as Harambe the Lowland Gorilla. Ever since I was a boy I have dreamed of eating fruits and plants in the captivity of a zoo. People say to me that being an endangered Lowland Gorilla is impossible and I'm fucking retarded, but I don't care, I'm a beautiful and strong silverback. I'm having a plastic surgeon install Gorilla arms, legs, torso, and a bulletproof vest on my body. From now on, I want you to call me Harambe and respect my right to eat, live with, and fuck
other Gorillas@backthepack . If you can't accept me you're a Gorilla murdering Zoophobe and you need to check your primate privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
