Your Real Life Hardcore Husky Moment

Don't be yourself. I want these neighbors to like us.
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CrispedSpoonieLuv said:My
wifeMom to me
Don't be yourself. I want these neighbors to like us. -
I told my wife to grow the hell up and learn the difference between real life and the Internet once.
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My wife shit on my chest for good luck and quacks like a duck when we fuck
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My wife is staring at me like I'm retarded now.bananasnblondes said:My wife shit on my chest for good luck and quacks like a duck when we fuck
Kudos. -
Pics or GTFO.bananasnblondes said:My wife shit on my chest for good luck and quacks like a duck when we fuck
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I had a real life dawgman/KJV moment the other day. I was at a work party and this dipshit I work with told a lady he forgot something because he has ADD and doesn't always listen well. The lady pointed to an imaginery object and yelled, "Squirrel!" The guy had no clue what she was talking about. I did, but didn't want to get into their FS conversation. I felt so fucking ashamed of myself that I knew about it from once being a poster at doogman.
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I use "allegedly" all the time and confuse the shit out of everyone
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I casually use the phrase so and so needs to die in a fucking fire and it always tilts a few heads around room.
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I say "drippy cunt" quite often, in reference to whiners in general. My wife isn't even fazed by it any more.
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I used to make fun of El Paso on Fagbook because after having to go there four or five times, it's a shithole. My mom caught wind of it and told me to stop because my sister-in-law's grandparents live there. It's not my fault they chose to live there, but I've been good.
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I've been drinking for a few hours already
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PUMP MY WIFE, DUCK!
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Whatever you and your wife are into man...PurpleThrobber said:PUMP MY WIFE, DUCK!
I tend to yell "PUMP MY WIFE, DICK!" (a reference to my own dick) and then I cackle madly while staining the comforter as my wife rolls her eyes, but if you want to bring others into your sex life that is your call. -
Saying tees and pees seems to be the one that confuses people the most in my life.
For the record I work in a cemetery, so it gets awkward. -
Like?TierbsHsotBoobs said:
My wife is staring at me like I'm retarded now.bananasnblondes said:My wife shit on my chest for good luck and quacks like a duck when we fuck
Kudos. -
Casual conversations around the office now regularly involve cocaine and hookers.
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I told a family member once to: (1) douse himself with gasoline and (2) light a match.
Nobody got it. -
I flag mom for abuse when she asks me to get a job. She stares blankly.
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I got into a conversation about hookers and blow and the best way to pair them with a former student/player of mine last year. It seems like it should have been really awkward. It wasnt.CheersWestDawg said:Casual conversations around the office now regularly involve cocaine and hookers.
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I took them to Walgreens to get them developed a week ago but they haven't called me backH_D said:
Pics or GTFO.bananasnblondes said:My wife shit on my chest for good luck and quacks like a duck when we fuck
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Yeah I've noticed casually telling people to light themselves on fire doesn't go over so well in the real world.
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bananasnblondes said:
I took them to Walgreens to get them developed a week ago but they haven't called me backH_D said:
Pics or GTFO.bananasnblondes said:My wife shit on my chest for good luck and quacks like a duck when we fuck
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I drop fucktard at work from time to time.
And anything my wife and I don't like "needs to DIAF"
Most of the time she is saying it to me. -
That's mine. I'm so desensitized from this place that I have no expectation people will find that to be harsh.UWerentThereMan said:I casually use the phrase so and so needs to die in a fucking fire and it always tilts a few heads around room.
"Oh my God that's awful".
Even if the people listening don't like the FS person I'm talking about either, DIAFF always gets that reaction. Especially the ladies. -
I tell my girlfriend "it's always special when" shit all the time when ripping on her family members.
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I'm guessing I should refrain from telling my wife that her mom should go DIAFF.haie said:I tell my girlfriend "it's always special when" shit all the time when ripping on her family members.
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I often say at work I'm 81% sure this will work ...
I get blank stares.
I've also started sprinkling in phrases about implosion when discussing a competitor. -
There was a condolence card going around the office last week for someone whose spouse died. I had to overcome my muscle memory and spell out Thoughts & Prayers instead of T's & P's.CokeGreaterThanPepsi said:Saying tees and pees seems to be the one that confuses people the most in my life.
For the record I work in a cemetery, so it gets awkward. -
I have a couple projects listed on my white board. Most of of them are listed at 81% complete.topdawgnc said:I often say at work I'm 81% sure this will work ...
I get blank stares.
I've also started sprinkling in phrases about implosion when discussing a competitor.