PM to the Bored, need Vegas advice

ScroteDawg

I'm going to Vegas for 5 days in a couple weeks, and I figured that a bunch of degenerates like you all would be able to give me some tips on where the coldest beer in town is, what casinos have a ribs and rickshaw special, etc. I know about the hookers, and blow and what not. If you only have 3 inches, is it only the first 2 that is consensual? Axing for a fren.

ThomasFremont

You can get free porno mags on the street from Mexicans wearing a sandwich board and a Sony Walkman.

Your welcome.

DeepSeaZ

Where are you staying?

BallSacked

ThomasFremont said:

You can get free porno mags on the street from Mexicans wearing a sandwich board and a Sony Walkman.

Your welcome.

This times a fucking billion.

ScroteDawg

DeepSeaZ said:

Where are you staying?

New York New York

whatshouldicareabout

ScroteDawg said:

DeepSeaZ said:

Where are you staying?

New York New York

I hope you realize that staying in New York is super far from Las Vegas.

Mosster47

whatshouldicareabout said:

ScroteDawg said:

DeepSeaZ said:

Where are you staying?

New York New York

I hope you realize that staying in New York is super far from Las Vegas.

Why don't you just stay in Henderson next time?

Here is what you need to know about Vegas:

1. If you're not worth at least $350,000 don't get on the plane.

2. Stay away from the Doolittle area unless you are going to John Mull's for ribs. They have a wall and gate, you're safe.

3. If you don't fit into #1 and you're not especially attractive hang out on Fremont as much as possible. This is where the "free" ass hangs out.

4. The guys on the show "Pawn Stars" are never at their pawn shop, so don't go there. Don't even waste your time at pawn shops there. They aren't the great deals they were 10 years ago.

5. 9 out of 10 women on backpage there are fakes. Stick with reviewed women from sites like Theeroticreview.com which will be out of range if you're not #1.

6. Most of the good food in town is absolutely not on the strip or in a casino. There is a reason why their food is cheap, it's because it's not very good.

7. Gentrification has cleaned up most of the areas off of the strip that used to just be riddled with bums. They are mostly in Doolittle now.

8. Those beaners you see running around with coolers selling beer are an illegal business. That's why they pick up and move every three minutes.

9. The Station Casinos are the only places worth gambling. I'd explain why but it's lengthy and I don't want to. Do the research, you'll see what I mean.

10. Every big time show there is just hot dudes with tight pants on, so stick to Fremont. Yes, that larger than life light show above your head is in fact Bon Jovi. White trash love Bon Jovi which is what is mainly at Fremont because of #1.


Now, go have a mediocre experience and go to the Costa Brava region of Spain next time instead.

AZDuck

They're tearing down the Riviera. Cretins.

WilburHooksHands

Mosster47 said:

whatshouldicareabout said:

ScroteDawg said:

DeepSeaZ said:

Where are you staying?

New York New York

I hope you realize that staying in New York is super far from Las Vegas.

Why don't you just stay in Henderson next time?

Here is what you need to know about Vegas:

1. If you're not worth at least $350,000 don't get on the plane.

2. Stay away from the Doolittle area unless you are going to John Mull's for ribs. They have a wall and gate, you're safe.

3. If you don't fit into #1 and you're not especially attractive hang out on Fremont as much as possible. This is where the "free" ass hangs out.

4. The guys on the show "Pawn Stars" are never at their pawn shop, so don't go there. Don't even waste your time at pawn shops there. They aren't the great deals they were 10 years ago.

5. 9 out of 10 women on backpage there are fakes. Stick with reviewed women from sites like Theeroticreview.com which will be out of range if you're not #1.

6. Most of the good food in town is absolutely not on the strip or in a casino. There is a reason why their food is cheap, it's because it's not very good.

7. Gentrification has cleaned up most of the areas off of the strip that used to just be riddled with bums. They are mostly in Doolittle now.

8. Those beaners you see running around with coolers selling beer are an illegal business. That's why they pick up and move every three minutes.

9. The Station Casinos are the only places worth gambling. I'd explain why but it's lengthy and I don't want to. Do the research, you'll see what I mean.

10. Every big time show there is just hot dudes with tight pants on, so stick to Fremont. Yes, that larger than life light show above your head is in fact Bon Jovi. White trash love Bon Jovi which is what is mainly at Fremont because of #1.


Now, go have a mediocre experience and go to the Costa Brava region of Spain next time instead.

He's staying at NY NY and you're telling him to go downtown? Just stay on the strip unless you want your underwear, socks, and probably your fucking teeth to smell like smoke.

Personally my fav area is the middle of the strip with Paris, Bellagio, Caesars, and Cosmo. Between those 4 you've got great restaurants and tables. My fav is probably Cosmo for a one-stop shop.

GrundleStiltzkin

Mosster47 said:

whatshouldicareabout said:

ScroteDawg said:

DeepSeaZ said:

Where are you staying?

New York New York

I hope you realize that staying in New York is super far from Las Vegas.

Why don't you just stay in Henderson next time?

Here is what you need to know about Vegas:

1. If you're not worth at least $350,000 don't get on the plane.

2. Stay away from the Doolittle area unless you are going to John Mull's for ribs. They have a wall and gate, you're safe.

3. If you don't fit into #1 and you're not especially attractive hang out on Fremont as much as possible. This is where the "free" ass hangs out.

4. The guys on the show "Pawn Stars" are never at their pawn shop, so don't go there. Don't even waste your time at pawn shops there. They aren't the great deals they were 10 years ago.

5. 9 out of 10 women on backpage there are fakes. Stick with reviewed women from sites like Theeroticreview.com which will be out of range if you're not #1.

6. Most of the good food in town is absolutely not on the strip or in a casino. There is a reason why their food is cheap, it's because it's not very good.

7. Gentrification has cleaned up most of the areas off of the strip that used to just be riddled with bums. They are mostly in Doolittle now.

8. Those beaners you see running around with coolers selling beer are an illegal business. That's why they pick up and move every three minutes.

9. The Station Casinos are the only places worth gambling. I'd explain why but it's lengthy and I don't want to. Do the research, you'll see what I mean.

10. Every big time show there is just hot dudes with tight pants on, so stick to Fremont. Yes, that larger than life light show above your head is in fact Bon Jovi. White trash love Bon Jovi which is what is mainly at Fremont because of #1.


Now, go have a mediocre experience and go to the Costa Brava region of Spain next time instead.

Brought to you by @thechatch

doogsinparadise

GrundleStiltzkin said:

Mosster47 said:

whatshouldicareabout said:

ScroteDawg said:

DeepSeaZ said:

Where are you staying?

New York New York

I hope you realize that staying in New York is super far from Las Vegas.

Why don't you just stay in Henderson next time?

Here is what you need to know about Vegas:

1. If you're not worth at least $350,000 don't get on the plane.

2. Stay away from the Doolittle area unless you are going to John Mull's for ribs. They have a wall and gate, you're safe.

3. If you don't fit into #1 and you're not especially attractive hang out on Fremont as much as possible. This is where the "free" ass hangs out.

4. The guys on the show "Pawn Stars" are never at their pawn shop, so don't go there. Don't even waste your time at pawn shops there. They aren't the great deals they were 10 years ago.

5. 9 out of 10 women on backpage there are fakes. Stick with reviewed women from sites like Theeroticreview.com which will be out of range if you're not #1.

6. Most of the good food in town is absolutely not on the strip or in a casino. There is a reason why their food is cheap, it's because it's not very good.

7. Gentrification has cleaned up most of the areas off of the strip that used to just be riddled with bums. They are mostly in Doolittle now.

8. Those beaners you see running around with coolers selling beer are an illegal business. That's why they pick up and move every three minutes.

9. The Station Casinos are the only places worth gambling. I'd explain why but it's lengthy and I don't want to. Do the research, you'll see what I mean.

10. Every big time show there is just hot dudes with tight pants on, so stick to Fremont. Yes, that larger than life light show above your head is in fact Bon Jovi. White trash love Bon Jovi which is what is mainly at Fremont because of #1.


Now, go have a mediocre experience and go to the Costa Brava region of Spain next time instead.

Brought to you by @thechatch

But why is @Mosster47 a stupid cunt.

BallSacked

ScroteDawg said:

DeepSeaZ said:

Where are you staying?

New York New York

Why? Was circus circus and Excalibur sold out?

ntxduck

God damn moss is a creepy ass dude who has no idea how to do vegas

RoadDawg55

I love the guys who pretend to have Vegas so dialed in that they avoid the strip.

Tips are fine, but you can do anything and have a great time in Vegas. What you choose to do depends on your budget.

SonnyShackelford

BallSacked said:

ScroteDawg said:

DeepSeaZ said:

Where are you staying?

New York New York

Why? Was circus circus and Excalibur sold out?

If we're going to bash the Excalibur, I'm out

gmo

5 days is way too long for Vegas. Rookie move right there. 2-3 days tops is the way to always do that town... for a lot of reasons.

HuskyJW

Just go to LaCenter and kick yourself in the nuts.

Same experience

Meek

I had the norovirus back in 2002 and literally shit the bed at the Excalibur. Not my finest moment, but somehow felt like it was almost expected at Excalibur.

HUSKYFANATIC

Spend all your time at Boulder Station, Sams Town, Railroad Pass and Fiesta!

RaccoonHarry

gmo said:

5 days is way too long for Vegas. Rookie move right there. 2-3 days tops is the way to always do that town... for a lot of reasons.

He didn't say but that 5 days is probably for a trade show. Nobody goes to Vegas that long for fun.

ScroteDawg

gmo said:

5 days is way too long for Vegas. Rookie move right there. 2-3 days tops is the way to always do that town... for a lot of reasons.

We'll be at the NASCAR races for a good part of Saturday and Sunday, and we're leaving early Monday morning, so it won't be 5 full days.