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Official “Who’s going to be your new team?” Thread
EsophagealFeces
Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 12,094 
Since UW is folding its football program, and I can’t work today because I’ve had no voice since Tuesday, I figured I should start a thread about who everyone should choose as their new college football team.
I’ll start with myself. My dad grew up in Georgia, and I’ve always rooted for them, but they fucked us out of the Rose Bowl, so fuck them. Texas and A&M were my grandpa and grandma’s teams. I’m not rooting for Sark and Aggie is aids, so they’re out. The only logical choice here is my maternal grandfather’s home state team of Nebraska. They were good in the 90’s but have since given up on life, just like UW. I’m not sure I’m classy enough to be a Nebraska fan, but I’ll do my best.
Next, I’ll move on to people who already have their teams. @DerekJohnson chose Tennessee, have fun with that. @Tequilla has TCU, @creepycoug has The U, @PurpleBaze and @Mad_Son have the REAL UW, now that they can claim that by default. @Softy has Bellevue CC.
@RaceBannon was a colonial, so his new team is the George Washington University Colonials.
@Swaye’s new team is the Bradley University Braves. Obviously.
@CFetters_Nacho_Lover lives in Lexington, so UK is the obvious choice. University of Wisconsin Green Bay is a strong contender given his love of cheese.
@Doog_de_Jour chose to live in Colorado, so she’s stuck playing for clicks until Prime leaves.
@backthepack is killing himself, so he may as well root for a dead program, so Western Washington University it is.
The world’s largest grocery store is in Cincinnati, so @theknowledge will be rooting for the Bearcats from now on.
@dirtysouwfdawg lives in South Carolina, and pulling for Cocks seems like a natural fit.
@dnc lives in Tennessee but also has ties to Carolina, so we’ll put him near the border and give him the Appalachian State Mountaineers.
@YellowSnow is in Bend, home of OSU-Cascades. Looks like you’re a Beavis now, pal.
@PurpleJ is a tough one. Being an openly gay man, the University of Hawaii Rainbow Warriors seem like a natural fit, but he may lean towards UCLA and suspected gay man Chip Kelly like his good friend @coronabruin.
Living in Vancouver, it appears @haie is stuck rooting for the Ducks and taking over as the main mod for the refuge. Hopefully he and @46XiJCAB can get a room and make up.
That’s all I have for now, feel free to add to this or challenge my selections.
I’ll start with myself. My dad grew up in Georgia, and I’ve always rooted for them, but they fucked us out of the Rose Bowl, so fuck them. Texas and A&M were my grandpa and grandma’s teams. I’m not rooting for Sark and Aggie is aids, so they’re out. The only logical choice here is my maternal grandfather’s home state team of Nebraska. They were good in the 90’s but have since given up on life, just like UW. I’m not sure I’m classy enough to be a Nebraska fan, but I’ll do my best.
Next, I’ll move on to people who already have their teams. @DerekJohnson chose Tennessee, have fun with that. @Tequilla has TCU, @creepycoug has The U, @PurpleBaze and @Mad_Son have the REAL UW, now that they can claim that by default. @Softy has Bellevue CC.
@RaceBannon was a colonial, so his new team is the George Washington University Colonials.
@Swaye’s new team is the Bradley University Braves. Obviously.
@CFetters_Nacho_Lover lives in Lexington, so UK is the obvious choice. University of Wisconsin Green Bay is a strong contender given his love of cheese.
@Doog_de_Jour chose to live in Colorado, so she’s stuck playing for clicks until Prime leaves.
@backthepack is killing himself, so he may as well root for a dead program, so Western Washington University it is.
The world’s largest grocery store is in Cincinnati, so @theknowledge will be rooting for the Bearcats from now on.
@dirtysouwfdawg lives in South Carolina, and pulling for Cocks seems like a natural fit.
@dnc lives in Tennessee but also has ties to Carolina, so we’ll put him near the border and give him the Appalachian State Mountaineers.
@YellowSnow is in Bend, home of OSU-Cascades. Looks like you’re a Beavis now, pal.
@PurpleJ is a tough one. Being an openly gay man, the University of Hawaii Rainbow Warriors seem like a natural fit, but he may lean towards UCLA and suspected gay man Chip Kelly like his good friend @coronabruin.
Living in Vancouver, it appears @haie is stuck rooting for the Ducks and taking over as the main mod for the refuge. Hopefully he and @46XiJCAB can get a room and make up.
That’s all I have for now, feel free to add to this or challenge my selections.
Comments
@RaceBannon will pick a Cal school, likely USC, because of respect. Although I'll never deny his Black Hills League Tuff bonafides, he ain't from around here no more (Mississippi Burning) and is living the Temecula dream. But he has also flashed a bit of an anti-blue blood world view and has shown some attraction to the up-and-comers, so he may make a crazy choice that none of us can predict.
Pearl Harbor happened, he lied about his age and joined the merchant marines after high school. He was young for his grade and graduated at 17. Eventually ended up career Air Force and never played football again.
People were better back then. Too bad Clemson is on the decline.
The only silver lining is that DeBoer isn't here, but Ryan Day and some other fucktards still are.
This assumes that UW does the right thing and gets Fisch or a proven head coach though.
I know I'm overreacting, but I'm fucking pissed right now.