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Dear God
Fenderbender123
Member Posts: 2,983
Hi, it's me. Fenderbender. Fenderbender123, actually...because Fenderbender 1 through 122 were taken. I'm sure you already knew that, though.
I haven't prayed to you in a while. Not since I bet $40 on the roulette table and begged you to make the marble land on red. Thank you for that, by the way. I used that extra $40 to buy all my friends some Taco Bell on the way home from the casino. Have you ever tried their Crunchwrap Supreme? I'd give it a solid 7.8/10. You'd love it. Won't drain your bank account, either.
Look...I don't ask a lot from you. So hopefully you can help me out...not just me, but millions (if not billions) of Washington Husky fans throughout the world. You see, our head coach is a prime candidate for other coaching positions. It isn't just the vacant positions in college football, but the NFL as well. "The NFL? Really?" you might ask. Just trust me on this one, God. It's not that he'd be anyone's first choice, but there are 8 head coaching positions that have opened up in the NFL. That factors into the equation. It means there will be even more college football vacancies. Trust me. I know math. Even more than @RoadDawg55.
So if you could please, PLEASE, use your God powers to force DeBoer to stay at Washington, I promise I'll go to church at least twice in the next 6 months. That's a huge improvement over not going at all my entire life. If I don't go, you can banish me to hell for all eternity.
Thank you for taking the time to read this post.
Yours Truly,
Fenderbender123
I haven't prayed to you in a while. Not since I bet $40 on the roulette table and begged you to make the marble land on red. Thank you for that, by the way. I used that extra $40 to buy all my friends some Taco Bell on the way home from the casino. Have you ever tried their Crunchwrap Supreme? I'd give it a solid 7.8/10. You'd love it. Won't drain your bank account, either.
Look...I don't ask a lot from you. So hopefully you can help me out...not just me, but millions (if not billions) of Washington Husky fans throughout the world. You see, our head coach is a prime candidate for other coaching positions. It isn't just the vacant positions in college football, but the NFL as well. "The NFL? Really?" you might ask. Just trust me on this one, God. It's not that he'd be anyone's first choice, but there are 8 head coaching positions that have opened up in the NFL. That factors into the equation. It means there will be even more college football vacancies. Trust me. I know math. Even more than @RoadDawg55.
So if you could please, PLEASE, use your God powers to force DeBoer to stay at Washington, I promise I'll go to church at least twice in the next 6 months. That's a huge improvement over not going at all my entire life. If I don't go, you can banish me to hell for all eternity.
Thank you for taking the time to read this post.
Yours Truly,
Fenderbender123
Comments
After Job had prayed for his companions, Jehovah removed Job’s tribulation and restored his prosperity. Jehovah gave him double what he had before. 11 All his brothers and sisters and all his former friends came to him and ate a meal with him in his house. They sympathized with him and comforted him over all the calamity that Jehovah had allowed to come upon him. Each of them gave him a piece of money and a gold ring. 12 So Jehovah blessed the last part of Job’s life more than the beginning, and Job came to have 14,000 sheep, 6,000 camels, 1,000 pairs of cattle, and 1,000 female donkeys. 13 He also came to have seven more sons and three more daughters. 14 He named the first daughter Je·miʹmah, the second Ke·ziʹah, and the third Kerʹen-hapʹpuch. 15 No women in all the land were as beautiful as Job’s daughters, and their father gave them an inheritance along with their brothers. 16 After this Job lived for 140 years, and he saw his children and his grandchildren—four generations. 17 Finally Job died, after a long and satisfying life.
Wait…oh, wrong Job
Take it to the tug, I know, but ho lee fuck is that shit stupid as fucking shit
At the end of the story, Job gets a new family like it was all worth it
Retarded stories for retards
Guess I’ll keep wandering in the desert.
makes sense? religion sense
shit does not hold up to scrutiny but some like the nostalgia aspect.
And vote for a dementia addled retard
He he he
TITTT