Your Guide to Houston That Doesn’t Suck

Sobchak_Security

I told you I had big futures on Washington, and I did not hedge because winners win. So we roll on. The title game comes to my town and I’ll be there in purple for my first Husky game.

If you’re coming to Houston, things to know:

1) The Galleria used to be a nice place to stay but is now a dangerous shit hole. Be careful of hotels that say “Galleria” but are actually five miles outside of it on I-10.

2) Stay downtown if possible. Lots of decent hotels. And the only public transit any human being in Houston uses is the one Houston metro train route that goes from downtown to Reliant Stadium. If you’re in the area, I’ll buy you a drink. My law firm is right near the train pickup and I might open a tab for Huskies only if you promise to teach me the basic cheers and words to your fight song so I don’t look like a total chump.

3) Getting an Uber after a big game at Reliant is a nightmare. Remember this.

4) Eat — it is all we do in Houston. I’ve eaten like a king in Seattle too but we have good food and almost nothing else.

TexMex — Ninfa’s on Navigation ( the original) and El Tiempo. Similar and nothing else compares.

BBQ — Truth BBQ, Pinkerton’s, and Pit Room. All are good.

Steak — Pappa’s Bros Steakhouse, Georgia James Steakhouse, and Doris Metropolitan. Some people like Taste of Texas for the experience.

Seafood — Brennan’s if you missed out on New Orleans, Little’s Oyster Bar, Bludorn.

Farm to Table — Coltivare, Loro, Nancy’s Hustle, Theodore Rex

Indian — Musafeer

5) Drink

Break HTX down by bar districts. Downtown is ok and has a handful of decent bars (Flying Saucer popular for beer). Midtown is great if you’re a 26 year old who wants to throw up everywhere. Smith Street has a handful of decent bars that change names every two years so I can’t tell you what they are now.

Washington Avenue is a sometimes popular spot with several decent bars. Bonus that the best El Tiempo (see above) is on Wash Ave.

Most adults drink in The Heights. 19th Street bars Cedar Creek, Bungalow Heights, Wicklow Heights, Drift Bar, and Mcintyres usually the most popular places in town. All in walking distance. Quick and easy Uber from downtown.

Airports — IAH and Hobby. Equally fine. Similar distances from downtown. One south, one north.

Reliant Stadium — big area, parking lot tailgating, completely shitty and seedy outside of Reliant. My first apartment in law school was there. It scared my mom. You’ll want to spend as little time near Reliant as possible. The city will host no events near there; everything will be in downtown near Discovery Green.

Other questions ask me. See you animals in Houston.

pawz

TYFYS

EsophagealFeces

Am I going to get raped staying near Texas medical center? Is there anything worthwhile around there?

Sobchak_Security

EsophagealFeces said:

Am I going to get raped staying near Texas medical center? Is there anything worthwhile around there?

Fine, and near Rice U. Probably the closest area to Reliant where you won’t get shived. Good food around there. Also not far from Montrose, which is the Rainbow District.

Some folks hang out at Hotel Zaza near there which is cool. Also near Hermann Park, which has Houston’s zoo. Cool zoo if that’s your thing.

Houston’s shittiest public golf is there. Should have mentioned if anybody plays golf, Memorial Park and Gus Wortham Park are both great munis.

Postal91

Sobchak_Security said:

Other questions ask me. See you animals in Houston.

Any best place north of Houston for the money? I just booked a quality inn and suites off the freeway because nothing else was reasonable in price. Going to have a rental car with me. Was willing to pay $250 a room but that forced me North so that I can head back up to Dallas

Sobchak_Security

Depends where, not much of note between the top of 610 (the loop) and the Woodlands, which are 30 mins north on I-45. Just lots of concrete. Perfectly fine and safe, just not a lot going on. Easy drive into town though for whatever you want.

Sobchak_Security

Woodlands is cool by the way. Cool little River Walk type scene and lively bars/restaurants. Probably cheaper hotels but you’ll obviously be 30 mins away from the action and Reliant is all the way South of downtown at the bottom of “The Loop.”

LoneStarDawg

If you’re out of downtown I would recommend woodlands, it’s very suburby. Safe clean and next to I-45, decent food and things to do

LoneStarDawg

Good recs btw. I’m staying with family in Katy, plan to get parking downtown and take the metro to NRG.

Postal91

Sobchak_Security said:

Woodlands is cool by the way. Cool little River Walk type scene and lively bars/restaurants. Probably cheaper hotels but you’ll obviously be 30 mins away from the action and Reliant is all the way South of downtown at the bottom of “The Loop.”

Looks like the place I booked at is just east of the Houston cemetery, south of Greens point Mall. If you say The woodlands is better I'll switch up

LoneStarDawg

Postal91 said:

Sobchak_Security said:

Woodlands is cool by the way. Cool little River Walk type scene and lively bars/restaurants. Probably cheaper hotels but you’ll obviously be 30 mins away from the action and Reliant is all the way South of downtown at the bottom of “The Loop.”

Looks like the place I booked at is just east of the Houston cemetery, south of Greens point Mall. If you say The woodlands is better I'll switch up

The locals call it gunpoint mall…

Sobchak_Security

I would also recommend maybe looking at AirBNBs in some of the neighborhoods. As football crazy as Texas is, I’m not sure ABNB owners are that aware of this game, particularly in the little neighborhoods with yuppie moms.

We live in Oak Forest and I know there are tons of little two bedroom bungalows being rented out for cheap that are very nice. Would recommend checking that out.

creepycoug

All needs to be verified by @HoustonHusky or I call bullshit.

Sobchak_Security

Postal91 said:

Sobchak_Security said:

Woodlands is cool by the way. Cool little River Walk type scene and lively bars/restaurants. Probably cheaper hotels but you’ll obviously be 30 mins away from the action and Reliant is all the way South of downtown at the bottom of “The Loop.”

Looks like the place I booked at is just east of the Houston cemetery, south of Greens point Mall. If you say The woodlands is better I'll switch up

Gunspoint! People joke about Houston being dangerous, which it’s really not. I work downtown and have no problem walking around anywhere and feeling safe. But Greenspoint is one place where I probably wouldn’t stay.

Postal91

Sobchak_Security said:

Postal91 said:

Sobchak_Security said:

Woodlands is cool by the way. Cool little River Walk type scene and lively bars/restaurants. Probably cheaper hotels but you’ll obviously be 30 mins away from the action and Reliant is all the way South of downtown at the bottom of “The Loop.”

Looks like the place I booked at is just east of the Houston cemetery, south of Greens point Mall. If you say The woodlands is better I'll switch up

Gunspoint! People joke about Houston being dangerous, which it’s really not. I work downtown and have no problem walking around anywhere and feeling safe. But Greenspoint is one place where I probably wouldn’t stay.

Then the woodlands it is! Which oddly enough is just a short drive up the road from guns point

Sobchak_Security

LoneStarDawg said:

Good recs btw. I’m staying with family in Katy, plan to get parking downtown and take the metro to NRG.

This is the way. You can street park for cheap or valet at Hotel Icon for like $12 and just Metro down. It’s what we’ve done last 3 Texans games we went to.

EsophagealFeces

Sobchak_Security said:

I would also recommend maybe looking at AirBNBs in some of the neighborhoods. As football crazy as Texas is, I’m not sure ABNB owners are that aware of this game, particularly in the little neighborhoods with yuppie moms.

We live in Oak Forest and I know there are tons of little two bedroom bungalows being rented out for cheap that are very nice. Would recommend checking that out.

We got a nice Airbnb with a pool and 4 beds for like $200 a night, so it’s costing us each $50 a night. Can’t beat that.

Sobchak_Security

Postal91 said:

Sobchak_Security said:

Postal91 said:

Sobchak_Security said:

Woodlands is cool by the way. Cool little River Walk type scene and lively bars/restaurants. Probably cheaper hotels but you’ll obviously be 30 mins away from the action and Reliant is all the way South of downtown at the bottom of “The Loop.”

Looks like the place I booked at is just east of the Houston cemetery, south of Greens point Mall. If you say The woodlands is better I'll switch up

Gunspoint! People joke about Houston being dangerous, which it’s really not. I work downtown and have no problem walking around anywhere and feeling safe. But Greenspoint is one place where I probably wouldn’t stay.

Then the woodlands it is! Which oddly enough is just a short drive up the road from guns point

Houston in a nutshell. Woodlands is its own thing and I don’t know about their zoning but Houston has literally zero zoning so it’s routine for the very nice places to be beside the worst places.

LoneStarDawg

Sobchak_Security said:

LoneStarDawg said:

Good recs btw. I’m staying with family in Katy, plan to get parking downtown and take the metro to NRG.

This is the way. You can street park for cheap or valet at Hotel Icon for like $12 and just Metro down. It’s what we’ve done last 3 Texans games we went to.

How much of a pain in the ass is waiting for trains after the game? I would expect it to be packed

Sobchak_Security

LoneStarDawg said:

Sobchak_Security said:

LoneStarDawg said:

Good recs btw. I’m staying with family in Katy, plan to get parking downtown and take the metro to NRG.

This is the way. You can street park for cheap or valet at Hotel Icon for like $12 and just Metro down. It’s what we’ve done last 3 Texans games we went to.

How much of a pain in the ass is waiting for trains after the game? I would expect it to be packed

They move really quick and I’m not sure that many people are onto the plan. I have a feeling more people will try to Uber down for this game. We got right on with very little wait last Texans game. But of course that’s more locals who are driving their cars.

Still way quicker than trying to get out of those lots.

Postal91

Sobchak_Security said:

LoneStarDawg said:

Sobchak_Security said:

LoneStarDawg said:

Good recs btw. I’m staying with family in Katy, plan to get parking downtown and take the metro to NRG.

This is the way. You can street park for cheap or valet at Hotel Icon for like $12 and just Metro down. It’s what we’ve done last 3 Texans games we went to.

How much of a pain in the ass is waiting for trains after the game? I would expect it to be packed

They move really quick and I’m not sure that many people are onto the plan. I have a feeling more people will try to Uber down for this game. We got right on with very little wait last Texans game. But of course that’s more locals who are driving their cars.

Still way quicker than trying to get out of those lots.

If I get there earlier is there a lot of parking around the stadium?