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This bored is full doog.

Listen up you queefblowers. I've had enough of your doogish half-chubby for Billy Bob Petersen.

I hired a real fucking coach. I hired the coach of the future! Check out this motherfapping resume:

-- Sark beat Bo Pelinni (great coach, amirite?) one out of three times.
-- Sark beat Boise State one out of two times. That's right, he kicked your new coach right in the Petersen.
-- Sark beat Lane F'ing Kiffen in LA. NO ONE BEATS LANE KIFFEN IN LA*

(*with a few exceptions.)

You coogfelchers were supposed to hire James Mora away from ULCA, but fuck it. I'll take a plunger every season, because once we soften up our schedule we'll be going 9 wins every year. That means Alamo Bowels, you gashgnashers.

Now if you loosers are done, I have a really cool presser to attend.

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