You want to know how retarded slow strategy people are?
One thing I realized about marathon runners: they are all slow strategy. It’s not enough for them to just be hot and fuck bitches because they’re hot. They need a goal that seems vaguely pro-social, but it’s really just all about them putting fucking stickers on their car and telling other white people about how fucked up their body is, even though the basic goal is just to be healthy.
It’s always puzzled me though. Where the fuck are you running to? Not even any place great. When I was 15 I walked from Lynwood to Shoreline to get laid. That’s a fucking goal.
What is this shit?
You spend all your fucking free time for a year running back and forth like a jackass, ruining your feet and knees, so that you can, what? Run somewhere on some particular day with a bunch of other stupid fucks who you don’t know and are so boring their whole life is just fucking running places for no reason?
And then take a fucking car back!!! Why don’t you just stay in the same place?
FS: What did you do today Connor? SS: Oh, I ran 26.2 miles in one direction!
FS: WOW, holy shit, did you get stranded or something and need to tell someone about a plot to kill them? SS: No, I just stopped when I got there and dopey family drove me back home in our Subaru.
FS: Why don’t you spend your time helping blind kids or some shit?
The guy who ran the first fucking marathon died for fuck’s sake.
You run 26 fucking miles and then you take a car back. And you trained a year to do it and it takes fucking hours to run. And then you just go home. You haven’t seen anything and there’s not like a beer or some amazing piece of ass at the end of the rainbow. It’s just you collapse and your dumb fucking family just drives you home and you talk about how fucked up you were feeling along the way.
That’s not an interesting story you dumb fucks. @Swaye’s Marsupial Guernica story is a story that involved feeling fucked up too, but weirdly, that one was funny and interesting.
Your story is: for a year I just ran back and forth and then one day I ran 26 miles in one direction and it felt bad.
Super duper!
You would’ve thought this shit was out as soon as horses were mounted, but that’s how fucking retarded slow strategy people are.
I’ve been training for my first marathon to help me get back in shape. It’s going pretty well so far, but after reading I think I am going to quit and buy a Maserati and crash it into a tree instead. That’s living!
Update. Ran Bay to Breakers today. Lots of dicks out, not a lot of tits. Need to rethink my plan. Time to go fast strategy all the way, fuck this shit!!!!
You want to know how retarded slow strategy people are?
One thing I realized about marathon runners: they are all slow strategy. It’s not enough for them to just be hot and fuck bitches because they’re hot. They need a goal that seems vaguely pro-social, but it’s really just all about them putting fucking stickers on their car and telling other white people about how fucked up their body is, even though the basic goal is just to be healthy.
It’s always puzzled me though. Where the fuck are you running to? Not even any place great. When I was 15 I walked from Lynwood to Shoreline to get laid. That’s a fucking goal.
What is this shit?
You spend all your fucking free time for a year running back and forth like a jackass, ruining your feet and knees, so that you can, what? Run somewhere on some particular day with a bunch of other stupid fucks who you don’t know and are so boring their whole life is just fucking running places for no reason?
And then take a fucking car back!!! Why don’t you just stay in the same place?
FS: What did you do today Connor? SS: Oh, I ran 26.2 miles in one direction!
FS: WOW, holy shit, did you get stranded or something and need to tell someone about a plot to kill them? SS: No, I just stopped when I got there and dopey family drove me back home in our Subaru.
FS: Why don’t you spend your time helping blind kids or some shit?
The guy who ran the first fucking marathon died for fuck’s sake.
You run 26 fucking miles and then you take a car back. And you trained a year to do it and it takes fucking hours to run. And then you just go home. You haven’t seen anything and there’s not like a beer or some amazing piece of ass at the end of the rainbow. It’s just you collapse and your dumb fucking family just drives you home and you talk about how fucked up you were feeling along the way.
That’s not an interesting story you dumb fucks. @Swaye’s Marsupial Guernica story is a story that involved feeling fucked up too, but weirdly, that one was funny and interesting.
Your story is: for a year I just ran back and forth and then one day I ran 26 miles in one direction and it felt bad.
Super duper!
You would’ve thought this shit was out as soon as horses were mounted, but that’s how fucking retarded slow strategy people are.
I’ve been training for my first marathon to help me get back in shape. It’s going pretty well so far, but after reading I think I am going to quit and buy a Maserati and crash it into a tree instead. That’s living!
Update. Ran Bay to Breakers today. Lots of dicks out, not a lot of tits. Need to rethink my plan. Time to go fast strategy all the way, fuck this shit!!!!
Get a Mas and find a tree my friend. It's liberating.
You want to know how retarded slow strategy people are?
One thing I realized about marathon runners: they are all slow strategy. It’s not enough for them to just be hot and fuck bitches because they’re hot. They need a goal that seems vaguely pro-social, but it’s really just all about them putting fucking stickers on their car and telling other white people about how fucked up their body is, even though the basic goal is just to be healthy.
It’s always puzzled me though. Where the fuck are you running to? Not even any place great. When I was 15 I walked from Lynwood to Shoreline to get laid. That’s a fucking goal.
What is this shit?
You spend all your fucking free time for a year running back and forth like a jackass, ruining your feet and knees, so that you can, what? Run somewhere on some particular day with a bunch of other stupid fucks who you don’t know and are so boring their whole life is just fucking running places for no reason?
And then take a fucking car back!!! Why don’t you just stay in the same place?
FS: What did you do today Connor? SS: Oh, I ran 26.2 miles in one direction!
FS: WOW, holy shit, did you get stranded or something and need to tell someone about a plot to kill them? SS: No, I just stopped when I got there and dopey family drove me back home in our Subaru.
FS: Why don’t you spend your time helping blind kids or some shit?
The guy who ran the first fucking marathon died for fuck’s sake.
You run 26 fucking miles and then you take a car back. And you trained a year to do it and it takes fucking hours to run. And then you just go home. You haven’t seen anything and there’s not like a beer or some amazing piece of ass at the end of the rainbow. It’s just you collapse and your dumb fucking family just drives you home and you talk about how fucked up you were feeling along the way.
That’s not an interesting story you dumb fucks. @Swaye’s Marsupial Guernica story is a story that involved feeling fucked up too, but weirdly, that one was funny and interesting.
Your story is: for a year I just ran back and forth and then one day I ran 26 miles in one direction and it felt bad.
Super duper!
You would’ve thought this shit was out as soon as horses were mounted, but that’s how fucking retarded slow strategy people are.
I cannot stop laughing at this shit. Gotta say there are few things greater in life than a DDY rant. I’ve listened to enough of the pods, that I can actually hear his voice saying these words in my head. It’s like my own, much gayer, much more Kent, internal monologue
This has been the best two weeks of my life. This tops it off.
No Dennis, this tops it off
2nd place? Time?
yes, 2nd place in age group. 3:23:43. BQ for my ag is 3:30. People forget that you need to be at least 3 minutes faster than that to get in. In 2012 Boston changed the way they award bibs. It's based on fastest times, so if you run a 3:28:30 you're not getting in. They set up four registration windows. First are people with a BQ minus 20 minutes, then 10, then 5. After that it's open to the slow pokes and you pray you make the cut. So if you set a goal to run Boston your BQ is really to at least hit the minus 5 window to assure entry.
This has been the best two weeks of my life. This tops it off.
No Dennis, this tops it off
2nd place? Time?
yes, 2nd place in age group. 3:23:43. BQ for my ag is 3:30. People forget that you need to be at least 3 minutes faster than that to get in. In 2012 Boston changed the way they award bibs. It's based on fastest times, so if you run a 3:28:30 you're not getting in. They set up four registration windows. First are people with a BQ minus 20 minutes, then 10, then 5. After that it's open to the slow pokes and you pray you make the cut. So if you set a goal to run Boston your BQ is really to at least hit the minus 5 window to assure entry.
This has been the best two weeks of my life. This tops it off.
No Dennis, this tops it off
2nd place? Time?
yes, 2nd place in age group. 3:23:43. BQ for my ag is 3:30. People forget that you need to be at least 3 minutes faster than that to get in. In 2012 Boston changed the way they award bibs. It's based on fastest times, so if you run a 3:28:30 you're not getting in. They set up four registration windows. First are people with a BQ minus 20 minutes, then 10, then 5. After that it's open to the slow pokes and you pray you make the cut. So if you set a goal to run Boston your BQ is really to at least hit the minus 5 window to assure entry.
Solid man. Congrats. Will you run Boston?
I always want to every year. I've run it twice but this year I Just might. It costs a shit ton of money for airfare from Salt Lake plus hotel in downtown Boston. There is no way to do this on the cheap.
This has been the best two weeks of my life. This tops it off.
No Dennis, this tops it off
2nd place? Time?
yes, 2nd place in age group. 3:23:43. BQ for my ag is 3:30. People forget that you need to be at least 3 minutes faster than that to get in. In 2012 Boston changed the way they award bibs. It's based on fastest times, so if you run a 3:28:30 you're not getting in. They set up four registration windows. First are people with a BQ minus 20 minutes, then 10, then 5. After that it's open to the slow pokes and you pray you make the cut. So if you set a goal to run Boston your BQ is really to at least hit the minus 5 window to assure entry.
Congrats from the ignorant fuck that needs to try harder next tim. For the ACTUAL ignorant fuck this isn't the first time there has been a discussion about 89's marathon time.
And, yes, sometimes results never get posted.
Apologies to all if I am not taking this shit seriously enough.
Still, not a bad guess especially if the over/under is five (minutes).
This has been the best two weeks of my life. This tops it off.
No Dennis, this tops it off
2nd place? Time?
yes, 2nd place in age group. 3:23:43. BQ for my ag is 3:30. People forget that you need to be at least 3 minutes faster than that to get in. In 2012 Boston changed the way they award bibs. It's based on fastest times, so if you run a 3:28:30 you're not getting in. They set up four registration windows. First are people with a BQ minus 20 minutes, then 10, then 5. After that it's open to the slow pokes and you pray you make the cut. So if you set a goal to run Boston your BQ is really to at least hit the minus 5 window to assure entry.
Solid man. Congrats. Will you run Boston?
I always want to every year. I've run it twice but this year I Just might. It costs a shit ton of money for airfare from Salt Lake plus hotel in downtown Boston. There is no way to do this on the cheap.
This has been the best two weeks of my life. This tops it off.
No Dennis, this tops it off
2nd place? Time?
yes, 2nd place in age group. 3:23:43. BQ for my ag is 3:30. People forget that you need to be at least 3 minutes faster than that to get in. In 2012 Boston changed the way they award bibs. It's based on fastest times, so if you run a 3:28:30 you're not getting in. They set up four registration windows. First are people with a BQ minus 20 minutes, then 10, then 5. After that it's open to the slow pokes and you pray you make the cut. So if you set a goal to run Boston your BQ is really to at least hit the minus 5 window to assure entry.
Solid man. Congrats. Will you run Boston?
I always want to every year. I've run it twice but this year I Just might. It costs a shit ton of money for airfare from Salt Lake plus hotel in downtown Boston. There is no way to do this on the cheap.
Have you thought about running there to save money?
You want to know how retarded slow strategy people are?
One thing I realized about marathon runners: they are all slow strategy. It’s not enough for them to just be hot and fuck bitches because they’re hot. They need a goal that seems vaguely pro-social, but it’s really just all about them putting fucking stickers on their car and telling other white people about how fucked up their body is, even though the basic goal is just to be healthy.
It’s always puzzled me though. Where the fuck are you running to? Not even any place great. When I was 15 I walked from Lynwood to Shoreline to get laid. That’s a fucking goal.
What is this shit?
You spend all your fucking free time for a year running back and forth like a jackass, ruining your feet and knees, so that you can, what? Run somewhere on some particular day with a bunch of other stupid fucks who you don’t know and are so boring their whole life is just fucking running places for no reason?
And then take a fucking car back!!! Why don’t you just stay in the same place?
FS: What did you do today Connor? SS: Oh, I ran 26.2 miles in one direction!
FS: WOW, holy shit, did you get stranded or something and need to tell someone about a plot to kill them? SS: No, I just stopped when I got there and dopey family drove me back home in our Subaru.
FS: Why don’t you spend your time helping blind kids or some shit?
The guy who ran the first fucking marathon died for fuck’s sake.
You run 26 fucking miles and then you take a car back. And you trained a year to do it and it takes fucking hours to run. And then you just go home. You haven’t seen anything and there’s not like a beer or some amazing piece of ass at the end of the rainbow. It’s just you collapse and your dumb fucking family just drives you home and you talk about how fucked up you were feeling along the way.
That’s not an interesting story you dumb fucks. @Swaye’s Marsupial Guernica story is a story that involved feeling fucked up too, but weirdly, that one was funny and interesting.
Your story is: for a year I just ran back and forth and then one day I ran 26 miles in one direction and it felt bad.
Super duper!
You would’ve thought this shit was out as soon as horses were mounted, but that’s how fucking retarded slow strategy people are.
A lot to unpack here. Knowing this is probably going to be Tequilla long I put it off until now.
You're spot on about everything. I hate runners. 99% of the time I will have said fewer than about 10 words to anyone from the time you load up in the bus, sit there for about 20 minutes, get transported 26 miles away, then spend an hour and a half in the staging area. Runners are about the most self-centered bunch of cunts you'll ever run across, with the exception of people who have completed an Ironman. Oh, and those Ragnar fuckers, they're big on the stickers and it really isn't that big of deal at all. 200 miles are split up among 12 people. That's about 16 miles, and those are spread out over 4 runs in a 24 hour period where you drive around in a van and sniff each other's farts and convince yourselves you're having fun. Avoid Ragnar people at all costs, the sticker is a warning.
Here's how practically every conversation goes with a runner ...
So how do you feel? If you're stupid enough to give a detailed answer, you'll be cut of with ...yeah, yeah .. man, my IT band is just burning, I felt a twinge at about mile 14 at St. George and it hasn't been the same since ... bla bla bla, it's the classic "I'll ask you about something just so I can tell you everything I've done and all the little injuries I have. It's insufferable. I have exactly TWO people I consider running friends that I have met. This is over 15 years. One guy I only see at a few races so it's hard to call him a friend, but I'll actually seek him out and talk with him at a race. The other guy, we actually talk, email and text, like a real friend.
A lot of people do this marathon thing one time, we call them "bucket listers". Nothing wrong with that, they just want to do it, check it off and most likely never do it again, with good reason. It's the people who have done 3-5 who you need to stay away from.
I try very hard to not be one of those people, but then again, here I am, and have been, poasting about running since hitching my wagon to this shit hole. I'll explain why I do it a minute.
Aside from Dennis throwing down the truth, here is why some of us do this shit. The marathon distance is chasing the proverbial dragon. It feels like 90 percent of the time the dragon wins. But when you do kill the dragon, it feels fucking great. I have only killed the dragon about 5 times, last Saturday is one of them. This is out of about 27 tries. It took me 10 tries before I even figured this shit out. It was either the 10th or the 11th it finally happened. The shit I figured out is that this is all about strength, physical and mental. The first 13 miles are pure joy. It's the next 13 where the work begins, this is where most people begin to break down. Each mile you slow down. Your legs are not bouncing off the pavement like drum sticks, they're heavy. The "runners high" is long gone. It's just you and the dragon and the dragon slowly bitch slaps you into oblivion.
Once you realize it's not rhythm and speed that gets you through this fight, it's strength. It's being strong enough to hold your pace without the aid of endorphins or willpower or any of that other fairy tale "I just want it more" bullshit. All of that shit has been sucked out of you and it's just you, your dick and the dragon. You row boat fags probably fight through the same things, the pulling is probably fun and easy for maybe the first 100 yards or something, but beyond that it's a whole different game. I can't describe what it takes to string together 26 somewhat even 7:40 mile splits, give or take 10 seconds. It's incredibly difficult to hold your pace when you got nothing. It's kind of like holding your piss way beyond what your bladder can handle.
So why poast my self-indulgent shit? Motivation! The same reason you see athletes write shit on their arms with a sharpie or dedicate the performance to some cancer ridden dead kid, or your dead brother or some other dead someone. This shit works. I honestly honored Dennis and this site ... so fuck off. It worked and I had one of my best runs when I really needed to have one of these types of performances. Internally, I had a lot riding on this race, won't bore you with the selfish reasons. But I will bore you with the fact that an age group podium finish in this marathon has been about a 10 year goal. This race is big enough to matter but still small enough that it was actually attainable. Put another way, a podium finish at St. George cannot happen.
I do this because I still want to compete. I wasn't done after high school, I wasn't good enough to play D1 football or baseball, fuck D3 or JC for that matter. I'm middle aged and still feel what we all felt when played back in the day. I fuckin' took state Saturday and it feels great!
Gotta admit, it was pretty fucking weird when some chick blurted out "Go Washington Huskies" at about mile 23. It was even weirder when I crossed the line and some other chick said "congratulations Dennis" as she put the finisher medal around my neck.
You want to know how retarded slow strategy people are?
One thing I realized about marathon runners: they are all slow strategy. It’s not enough for them to just be hot and fuck bitches because they’re hot. They need a goal that seems vaguely pro-social, but it’s really just all about them putting fucking stickers on their car and telling other white people about how fucked up their body is, even though the basic goal is just to be healthy.
It’s always puzzled me though. Where the fuck are you running to? Not even any place great. When I was 15 I walked from Lynwood to Shoreline to get laid. That’s a fucking goal.
What is this shit?
You spend all your fucking free time for a year running back and forth like a jackass, ruining your feet and knees, so that you can, what? Run somewhere on some particular day with a bunch of other stupid fucks who you don’t know and are so boring their whole life is just fucking running places for no reason?
And then take a fucking car back!!! Why don’t you just stay in the same place?
FS: What did you do today Connor? SS: Oh, I ran 26.2 miles in one direction!
FS: WOW, holy shit, did you get stranded or something and need to tell someone about a plot to kill them? SS: No, I just stopped when I got there and dopey family drove me back home in our Subaru.
FS: Why don’t you spend your time helping blind kids or some shit?
The guy who ran the first fucking marathon died for fuck’s sake.
You run 26 fucking miles and then you take a car back. And you trained a year to do it and it takes fucking hours to run. And then you just go home. You haven’t seen anything and there’s not like a beer or some amazing piece of ass at the end of the rainbow. It’s just you collapse and your dumb fucking family just drives you home and you talk about how fucked up you were feeling along the way.
That’s not an interesting story you dumb fucks. @Swaye’s Marsupial Guernica story is a story that involved feeling fucked up too, but weirdly, that one was funny and interesting.
Your story is: for a year I just ran back and forth and then one day I ran 26 miles in one direction and it felt bad.
Super duper!
You would’ve thought this shit was out as soon as horses were mounted, but that’s how fucking retarded slow strategy people are.
I’ve been training for my first marathon to help me get back in shape. It’s going pretty well so far, but after reading I think I am going to quit and buy a Maserati and crash it into a tree instead. That’s living!
What marathon are you going to run? What are some of your recent race times? What's your weekly mileage? What are your expectations?
You want to know how retarded slow strategy people are?
One thing I realized about marathon runners: they are all slow strategy. It’s not enough for them to just be hot and fuck bitches because they’re hot. They need a goal that seems vaguely pro-social, but it’s really just all about them putting fucking stickers on their car and telling other white people about how fucked up their body is, even though the basic goal is just to be healthy.
It’s always puzzled me though. Where the fuck are you running to? Not even any place great. When I was 15 I walked from Lynwood to Shoreline to get laid. That’s a fucking goal.
What is this shit?
You spend all your fucking free time for a year running back and forth like a jackass, ruining your feet and knees, so that you can, what? Run somewhere on some particular day with a bunch of other stupid fucks who you don’t know and are so boring their whole life is just fucking running places for no reason?
And then take a fucking car back!!! Why don’t you just stay in the same place?
FS: What did you do today Connor? SS: Oh, I ran 26.2 miles in one direction!
FS: WOW, holy shit, did you get stranded or something and need to tell someone about a plot to kill them? SS: No, I just stopped when I got there and dopey family drove me back home in our Subaru.
FS: Why don’t you spend your time helping blind kids or some shit?
The guy who ran the first fucking marathon died for fuck’s sake.
You run 26 fucking miles and then you take a car back. And you trained a year to do it and it takes fucking hours to run. And then you just go home. You haven’t seen anything and there’s not like a beer or some amazing piece of ass at the end of the rainbow. It’s just you collapse and your dumb fucking family just drives you home and you talk about how fucked up you were feeling along the way.
That’s not an interesting story you dumb fucks. @Swaye’s Marsupial Guernica story is a story that involved feeling fucked up too, but weirdly, that one was funny and interesting.
Your story is: for a year I just ran back and forth and then one day I ran 26 miles in one direction and it felt bad.
Super duper!
You would’ve thought this shit was out as soon as horses were mounted, but that’s how fucking retarded slow strategy people are.
A lot to unpack here. Knowing this is probably going to be Tequilla long I put it off until now.
You're spot on about everything. I hate runners. 99% of the time I will have said fewer than about 10 words to anyone from the time you load up in the bus, sit there for about 20 minutes, get transported 26 miles away, then spend an hour and a half in the staging area. Runners are about the most self-centered bunch of cunts you'll ever run across, with the exception of people who have completed an Ironman. Oh, and those Ragnar fuckers, they're big on the stickers and it really isn't that big of deal at all. 200 miles are split up among 12 people. That's about 16 miles, and those are spread out over 4 runs in a 24 hour period where you drive around in a van and sniff each other's farts and convince yourselves you're having fun. Avoid Ragnar people at all costs, the sticker is a warning.
Here's how practically every conversation goes with a runner ...
So how do you feel? If you're stupid enough to give a detailed answer, you'll be cut of with ...yeah, yeah .. man, my IT band is just burning, I felt a twinge at about mile 14 at St. George and it hasn't been the same since ... bla bla bla, it's the classic "I'll ask you about something just so I can tell you everything I've done and all the little injuries I have. It's insufferable. I have exactly TWO people I consider running friends that I have met. This is over 15 years. One guy I only see at a few races so it's hard to call him a friend, but I'll actually seek him out and talk with him at a race. The other guy, we actually talk, email and text, like a real friend.
A lot of people do this marathon thing one time, we call them "bucket listers". Nothing wrong with that, they just want to do it, check it off and most likely never do it again, with good reason. It's the people who have done 3-5 who you need to stay away from.
I try very hard to not be one of those people, but then again, here I am, and have been, poasting about running since hitching my wagon to this shit hole. I'll explain why I do it a minute.
Aside from Dennis throwing down the truth, here is why some of us do this shit. The marathon distance is chasing the proverbial dragon. It feels like 90 percent of the time the dragon wins. But when you do kill the dragon, it feels fucking great. I have only killed the dragon about 5 times, last Saturday is one of them. This is out of about 27 tries. It took me 10 tries before I even figured this shit out. It was either the 10th or the 11th it finally happened. The shit I figured out is that this is all about strength, physical and mental. The first 13 miles are pure joy. It's the next 13 where the work begins, this is where most people begin to break down. Each mile you slow down. Your legs are not bouncing off the pavement like drum sticks, they're heavy. The "runners high" is long gone. It's just you and the dragon and the dragon slowly bitch slaps you into oblivion.
Once you realize it's not rhythm and speed that gets you through this fight, it's strength. It's being strong enough to hold your pace without the aid of endorphins or willpower or any of that other fairy tale "I just want it more" bullshit. All of that shit has been sucked out of you and it's just you, your dick and the dragon. You row boat fags probably fight through the same things, the pulling is probably fun and easy for maybe the first 100 yards or something, but beyond that it's a whole different game. I can't describe what it takes to string together 26 somewhat even 7:40 mile splits, give or take 10 seconds. It's incredibly difficult to hold your pace when you got nothing. It's kind of like holding your piss way beyond what your bladder can handle.
So why poast my self-indulgent shit? Motivation! The same reason you see athletes write shit on their arms with a sharpie or dedicate the performance to some cancer ridden dead kid, or your dead brother or some other dead someone. This shit works. I honestly honored Dennis and this site ... so fuck off. It worked and I had one of my best runs when I really needed to have one of these types of performances. Internally, I had a lot riding on this race, won't bore you with the selfish reasons. But I will bore you with the fact that an age group podium finish in this marathon has been about a 10 year goal. This race is big enough to matter but still small enough that it was actually attainable. Put another way, a podium finish at St. George cannot happen.
I do this because I still want to compete. I wasn't done after high school, I wasn't good enough to play D1 football or baseball, fuck D3 or JC for that matter. I'm middle aged and still feel what we all felt when played back in the day. I fuckin' took state Saturday and it feels great!
Gotta admit, it was pretty fucking weird when some chick blurted out "Go Washington Huskies" at about mile 23. It was even weirder when I crossed the line and some other chick said "congratulations Dennis" as she put the finisher medal around my neck.
You want to know how retarded slow strategy people are?
One thing I realized about marathon runners: they are all slow strategy. It’s not enough for them to just be hot and fuck bitches because they’re hot. They need a goal that seems vaguely pro-social, but it’s really just all about them putting fucking stickers on their car and telling other white people about how fucked up their body is, even though the basic goal is just to be healthy.
It’s always puzzled me though. Where the fuck are you running to? Not even any place great. When I was 15 I walked from Lynwood to Shoreline to get laid. That’s a fucking goal.
What is this shit?
You spend all your fucking free time for a year running back and forth like a jackass, ruining your feet and knees, so that you can, what? Run somewhere on some particular day with a bunch of other stupid fucks who you don’t know and are so boring their whole life is just fucking running places for no reason?
And then take a fucking car back!!! Why don’t you just stay in the same place?
FS: What did you do today Connor? SS: Oh, I ran 26.2 miles in one direction!
FS: WOW, holy shit, did you get stranded or something and need to tell someone about a plot to kill them? SS: No, I just stopped when I got there and dopey family drove me back home in our Subaru.
FS: Why don’t you spend your time helping blind kids or some shit?
The guy who ran the first fucking marathon died for fuck’s sake.
You run 26 fucking miles and then you take a car back. And you trained a year to do it and it takes fucking hours to run. And then you just go home. You haven’t seen anything and there’s not like a beer or some amazing piece of ass at the end of the rainbow. It’s just you collapse and your dumb fucking family just drives you home and you talk about how fucked up you were feeling along the way.
That’s not an interesting story you dumb fucks. @Swaye’s Marsupial Guernica story is a story that involved feeling fucked up too, but weirdly, that one was funny and interesting.
Your story is: for a year I just ran back and forth and then one day I ran 26 miles in one direction and it felt bad.
Super duper!
You would’ve thought this shit was out as soon as horses were mounted, but that’s how fucking retarded slow strategy people are.
A lot to unpack here. Knowing this is probably going to be Tequilla long I put it off until now.
You're spot on about everything. I hate runners. 99% of the time I will have said fewer than about 10 words to anyone from the time you load up in the bus, sit there for about 20 minutes, get transported 26 miles away, then spend an hour and a half in the staging area. Runners are about the most self-centered bunch of cunts you'll ever run across, with the exception of people who have completed an Ironman. Oh, and those Ragnar fuckers, they're big on the stickers and it really isn't that big of deal at all. 200 miles are split up among 12 people. That's about 16 miles, and those are spread out over 4 runs in a 24 hour period where you drive around in a van and sniff each other's farts and convince yourselves you're having fun. Avoid Ragnar people at all costs, the sticker is a warning.
Here's how practically every conversation goes with a runner ...
So how do you feel? If you're stupid enough to give a detailed answer, you'll be cut of with ...yeah, yeah .. man, my IT band is just burning, I felt a twinge at about mile 14 at St. George and it hasn't been the same since ... bla bla bla, it's the classic "I'll ask you about something just so I can tell you everything I've done and all the little injuries I have. It's insufferable. I have exactly TWO people I consider running friends that I have met. This is over 15 years. One guy I only see at a few races so it's hard to call him a friend, but I'll actually seek him out and talk with him at a race. The other guy, we actually talk, email and text, like a real friend.
A lot of people do this marathon thing one time, we call them "bucket listers". Nothing wrong with that, they just want to do it, check it off and most likely never do it again, with good reason. It's the people who have done 3-5 who you need to stay away from.
I try very hard to not be one of those people, but then again, here I am, and have been, poasting about running since hitching my wagon to this shit hole. I'll explain why I do it a minute.
Aside from Dennis throwing down the truth, here is why some of us do this shit. The marathon distance is chasing the proverbial dragon. It feels like 90 percent of the time the dragon wins. But when you do kill the dragon, it feels fucking great. I have only killed the dragon about 5 times, last Saturday is one of them. This is out of about 27 tries. It took me 10 tries before I even figured this shit out. It was either the 10th or the 11th it finally happened. The shit I figured out is that this is all about strength, physical and mental. The first 13 miles are pure joy. It's the next 13 where the work begins, this is where most people begin to break down. Each mile you slow down. Your legs are not bouncing off the pavement like drum sticks, they're heavy. The "runners high" is long gone. It's just you and the dragon and the dragon slowly bitch slaps you into oblivion.
Once you realize it's not rhythm and speed that gets you through this fight, it's strength. It's being strong enough to hold your pace without the aid of endorphins or willpower or any of that other fairy tale "I just want it more" bullshit. All of that shit has been sucked out of you and it's just you, your dick and the dragon. You row boat fags probably fight through the same things, the pulling is probably fun and easy for maybe the first 100 yards or something, but beyond that it's a whole different game. I can't describe what it takes to string together 26 somewhat even 7:40 mile splits, give or take 10 seconds. It's incredibly difficult to hold your pace when you got nothing. It's kind of like holding your piss way beyond what your bladder can handle.
So why poast my self-indulgent shit? Motivation! The same reason you see athletes write shit on their arms with a sharpie or dedicate the performance to some cancer ridden dead kid, or your dead brother or some other dead someone. This shit works. I honestly honored Dennis and this site ... so fuck off. It worked and I had one of my best runs when I really needed to have one of these types of performances. Internally, I had a lot riding on this race, won't bore you with the selfish reasons. But I will bore you with the fact that an age group podium finish in this marathon has been about a 10 year goal. This race is big enough to matter but still small enough that it was actually attainable. Put another way, a podium finish at St. George cannot happen.
I do this because I still want to compete. I wasn't done after high school, I wasn't good enough to play D1 football or baseball, fuck D3 or JC for that matter. I'm middle aged and still feel what we all felt when played back in the day. I fuckin' took state Saturday and it feels great!
Gotta admit, it was pretty fucking weird when some chick blurted out "Go Washington Huskies" at about mile 23. It was even weirder when I crossed the line and some other chick said "congratulations Dennis" as she put the finisher medal around my neck.
You want to know how retarded slow strategy people are?
One thing I realized about marathon runners: they are all slow strategy. It’s not enough for them to just be hot and fuck bitches because they’re hot. They need a goal that seems vaguely pro-social, but it’s really just all about them putting fucking stickers on their car and telling other white people about how fucked up their body is, even though the basic goal is just to be healthy.
It’s always puzzled me though. Where the fuck are you running to? Not even any place great. When I was 15 I walked from Lynwood to Shoreline to get laid. That’s a fucking goal.
What is this shit?
You spend all your fucking free time for a year running back and forth like a jackass, ruining your feet and knees, so that you can, what? Run somewhere on some particular day with a bunch of other stupid fucks who you don’t know and are so boring their whole life is just fucking running places for no reason?
And then take a fucking car back!!! Why don’t you just stay in the same place?
FS: What did you do today Connor? SS: Oh, I ran 26.2 miles in one direction!
FS: WOW, holy shit, did you get stranded or something and need to tell someone about a plot to kill them? SS: No, I just stopped when I got there and dopey family drove me back home in our Subaru.
FS: Why don’t you spend your time helping blind kids or some shit?
The guy who ran the first fucking marathon died for fuck’s sake.
You run 26 fucking miles and then you take a car back. And you trained a year to do it and it takes fucking hours to run. And then you just go home. You haven’t seen anything and there’s not like a beer or some amazing piece of ass at the end of the rainbow. It’s just you collapse and your dumb fucking family just drives you home and you talk about how fucked up you were feeling along the way.
That’s not an interesting story you dumb fucks. @Swaye’s Marsupial Guernica story is a story that involved feeling fucked up too, but weirdly, that one was funny and interesting.
Your story is: for a year I just ran back and forth and then one day I ran 26 miles in one direction and it felt bad.
Super duper!
You would’ve thought this shit was out as soon as horses were mounted, but that’s how fucking retarded slow strategy people are.
A lot to unpack here. Knowing this is probably going to be Tequilla long I put it off until now.
You're spot on about everything. I hate runners. 99% of the time I will have said fewer than about 10 words to anyone from the time you load up in the bus, sit there for about 20 minutes, get transported 26 miles away, then spend an hour and a half in the staging area. Runners are about the most self-centered bunch of cunts you'll ever run across, with the exception of people who have completed an Ironman. Oh, and those Ragnar fuckers, they're big on the stickers and it really isn't that big of deal at all. 200 miles are split up among 12 people. That's about 16 miles, and those are spread out over 4 runs in a 24 hour period where you drive around in a van and sniff each other's farts and convince yourselves you're having fun. Avoid Ragnar people at all costs, the sticker is a warning.
Here's how practically every conversation goes with a runner ...
So how do you feel? If you're stupid enough to give a detailed answer, you'll be cut of with ...yeah, yeah .. man, my IT band is just burning, I felt a twinge at about mile 14 at St. George and it hasn't been the same since ... bla bla bla, it's the classic "I'll ask you about something just so I can tell you everything I've done and all the little injuries I have. It's insufferable. I have exactly TWO people I consider running friends that I have met. This is over 15 years. One guy I only see at a few races so it's hard to call him a friend, but I'll actually seek him out and talk with him at a race. The other guy, we actually talk, email and text, like a real friend.
A lot of people do this marathon thing one time, we call them "bucket listers". Nothing wrong with that, they just want to do it, check it off and most likely never do it again, with good reason. It's the people who have done 3-5 who you need to stay away from.
I try very hard to not be one of those people, but then again, here I am, and have been, poasting about running since hitching my wagon to this shit hole. I'll explain why I do it a minute.
Aside from Dennis throwing down the truth, here is why some of us do this shit. The marathon distance is chasing the proverbial dragon. It feels like 90 percent of the time the dragon wins. But when you do kill the dragon, it feels fucking great. I have only killed the dragon about 5 times, last Saturday is one of them. This is out of about 27 tries. It took me 10 tries before I even figured this shit out. It was either the 10th or the 11th it finally happened. The shit I figured out is that this is all about strength, physical and mental. The first 13 miles are pure joy. It's the next 13 where the work begins, this is where most people begin to break down. Each mile you slow down. Your legs are not bouncing off the pavement like drum sticks, they're heavy. The "runners high" is long gone. It's just you and the dragon and the dragon slowly bitch slaps you into oblivion.
Once you realize it's not rhythm and speed that gets you through this fight, it's strength. It's being strong enough to hold your pace without the aid of endorphins or willpower or any of that other fairy tale "I just want it more" bullshit. All of that shit has been sucked out of you and it's just you, your dick and the dragon. You row boat fags probably fight through the same things, the pulling is probably fun and easy for maybe the first 100 yards or something, but beyond that it's a whole different game. I can't describe what it takes to string together 26 somewhat even 7:40 mile splits, give or take 10 seconds. It's incredibly difficult to hold your pace when you got nothing. It's kind of like holding your piss way beyond what your bladder can handle.
So why poast my self-indulgent shit? Motivation! The same reason you see athletes write shit on their arms with a sharpie or dedicate the performance to some cancer ridden dead kid, or your dead brother or some other dead someone. This shit works. I honestly honored Dennis and this site ... so fuck off. It worked and I had one of my best runs when I really needed to have one of these types of performances. Internally, I had a lot riding on this race, won't bore you with the selfish reasons. But I will bore you with the fact that an age group podium finish in this marathon has been about a 10 year goal. This race is big enough to matter but still small enough that it was actually attainable. Put another way, a podium finish at St. George cannot happen.
I do this because I still want to compete. I wasn't done after high school, I wasn't good enough to play D1 football or baseball, fuck D3 or JC for that matter. I'm middle aged and still feel what we all felt when played back in the day. I fuckin' took state Saturday and it feels great!
Gotta admit, it was pretty fucking weird when some chick blurted out "Go Washington Huskies" at about mile 23. It was even weirder when I crossed the line and some other chick said "congratulations Dennis" as she put the finisher medal around my neck.
The Utes are sort of fringe, they can get away with this I guess because they're relative newcomers in the PAC. If a duck or a cuog ever showed up anywhere sporting husky shit......
Shut your fucking hole, obk. You're just a stupid and naive punk. I don't give a fuck what you think - you're a Duck fan who didn't attend UO and that right there makes you as big a piece of shit dumbass as someone can get in my book. Go fuck yourself.
That made me laff. I should simmer the fuck down sometimes.
Comments
Okay. I'm too lazy, as well. My guess is BQ at somewhere near 3:20. NTTIATWWT.
**edit. That was worst case. I am sure it was quite a bit better than that.
And, yes, sometimes results never get posted.
Apologies to all if I am not taking this shit seriously enough.
Still, not a bad guess especially if the over/under is five (minutes).
You're spot on about everything. I hate runners. 99% of the time I will have said fewer than about 10 words to anyone from the time you load up in the bus, sit there for about 20 minutes, get transported 26 miles away, then spend an hour and a half in the staging area. Runners are about the most self-centered bunch of cunts you'll ever run across, with the exception of people who have completed an Ironman. Oh, and those Ragnar fuckers, they're big on the stickers and it really isn't that big of deal at all. 200 miles are split up among 12 people. That's about 16 miles, and those are spread out over 4 runs in a 24 hour period where you drive around in a van and sniff each other's farts and convince yourselves you're having fun. Avoid Ragnar people at all costs, the sticker is a warning.
Here's how practically every conversation goes with a runner ...
So how do you feel? If you're stupid enough to give a detailed answer, you'll be cut of with ...yeah, yeah .. man, my IT band is just burning, I felt a twinge at about mile 14 at St. George and it hasn't been the same since ... bla bla bla, it's the classic "I'll ask you about something just so I can tell you everything I've done and all the little injuries I have. It's insufferable. I have exactly TWO people I consider running friends that I have met. This is over 15 years. One guy I only see at a few races so it's hard to call him a friend, but I'll actually seek him out and talk with him at a race. The other guy, we actually talk, email and text, like a real friend.
A lot of people do this marathon thing one time, we call them "bucket listers". Nothing wrong with that, they just want to do it, check it off and most likely never do it again, with good reason. It's the people who have done 3-5 who you need to stay away from.
I try very hard to not be one of those people, but then again, here I am, and have been, poasting about running since hitching my wagon to this shit hole. I'll explain why I do it a minute.
Aside from Dennis throwing down the truth, here is why some of us do this shit. The marathon distance is chasing the proverbial dragon. It feels like 90 percent of the time the dragon wins. But when you do kill the dragon, it feels fucking great. I have only killed the dragon about 5 times, last Saturday is one of them. This is out of about 27 tries. It took me 10 tries before I even figured this shit out. It was either the 10th or the 11th it finally happened. The shit I figured out is that this is all about strength, physical and mental. The first 13 miles are pure joy. It's the next 13 where the work begins, this is where most people begin to break down. Each mile you slow down. Your legs are not bouncing off the pavement like drum sticks, they're heavy. The "runners high" is long gone. It's just you and the dragon and the dragon slowly bitch slaps you into oblivion.
Once you realize it's not rhythm and speed that gets you through this fight, it's strength. It's being strong enough to hold your pace without the aid of endorphins or willpower or any of that other fairy tale "I just want it more" bullshit. All of that shit has been sucked out of you and it's just you, your dick and the dragon. You row boat fags probably fight through the same things, the pulling is probably fun and easy for maybe the first 100 yards or something, but beyond that it's a whole different game. I can't describe what it takes to string together 26 somewhat even 7:40 mile splits, give or take 10 seconds. It's incredibly difficult to hold your pace when you got nothing. It's kind of like holding your piss way beyond what your bladder can handle.
So why poast my self-indulgent shit? Motivation! The same reason you see athletes write shit on their arms with a sharpie or dedicate the performance to some cancer ridden dead kid, or your dead brother or some other dead someone. This shit works. I honestly honored Dennis and this site ... so fuck off. It worked and I had one of my best runs when I really needed to have one of these types of performances. Internally, I had a lot riding on this race, won't bore you with the selfish reasons. But I will bore you with the fact that an age group podium finish in this marathon has been about a 10 year goal. This race is big enough to matter but still small enough that it was actually attainable. Put another way, a podium finish at St. George cannot happen.
I do this because I still want to compete. I wasn't done after high school, I wasn't good enough to play D1 football or baseball, fuck D3 or JC for that matter. I'm middle aged and still feel what we all felt when played back in the day. I fuckin' took state Saturday and it feels great!
Gotta admit, it was pretty fucking weird when some chick blurted out "Go Washington Huskies" at about mile 23. It was even weirder when I crossed the line and some other chick said "congratulations Dennis" as she put the finisher medal around my neck.
@Dennis_DeYoung, this was genuine.