Attention Faggots

I'm leaving. You people suck ass.

But seriously, I am leaving. This Saturday. I am going to Jamaica. Some resort in Negril. Some old friends of mine from the squadron are paying because unlike me they didn't decide to drop out of life and be losers. So yeah, they make lots of money. Assholes. Anyway, what's a third world country like Jamaica like? Good chance I can get AIDS there? Any info appreciated. Flying into Montego Bay and staying at some all-inclusive type place in Negril. I guess we are going out on some "Adventure Tours" as well, whatever the fuck those are. They planned the whole thing. Three ex-pilot buddies of mine, two of their wives, and one of the wives friends. I am assuming the "friend" is being brought along for me to meet, since the other buddy has a wife but she isn't coming (some work trip or something) but she will probably be a straight laced suburbia queen and I will hate her. Unless she has nice tits. I'll try to report in with pics if that's the case.

I guess Jamaica has reliable internet? Who the fuck knows. I assume the resorts do, but I won't be checking in very much here because I am sure I will be trying to get some hot slut to bang me after her loser boyfriend passes out. If I am in Jamaica for a week and don't get laid I will hate myself forever. Well, more than I already do.

Also, I've never done all inclusive before. Good? Shitty? I mean fuck, it's a free trip for me, and I think they shelled out about 2500 bucks for me for a week, so I guess it can't be terrible. They told me which one it was but I forgot. I just know my flight leaves at 9AM Saturday morning, and they are all on it. Oh, I did have to pay for my airfare, those cheap fucks. It is my right to be a dick about receiving great gifts from white people. They are probably only bringing me because they know I will create a spectacle of fun, and to get white guilt street cred for bringing their "indigenous" red friend. I am sure they have plastered Facebook with details of the trip and how they are bringing a poor red bastard who has never even seen the ocean or some shit. Eat my ass, but TIA for any Jamaica info you fags have. Oh yeah, what's the story on hookers in the event the "friend" is an uptight bitch and none of the local tourists can be peeled off their husbands or boyfriends?