8th grade learning to throw discus . Spinning around wildly like a fucktard and I release the most glorious discus throw that Jr. High has ever seen, probably record setting. Except I released it almost completely sideways. The discus flew... it was beautiful... until it went directly into the popular all American track girl's leg while she was stretching to the side. She crumpled, it actually fractured femur. She never really ran the same again, she quit track and became a cheerleader, got pregnant senior year by some backup QB football player. Her parents never forgave me, the school actually had to build a cage around the field practice area for discus and shot throws because of "the incident"... I do wonder what would have happened if she had stuck with being an all state track star without a broken leg instead of a knocked up cheerleader.
I just thought of probably my worst one. My brother never lets me forget this one.I have a long history of knee problems. I won't go into it as it's a long history. Until my early 20s it was all with my left knee. I tweaked my right one playing hoops at Ravenna Park during my last spring in Seattle. It felt serious when it happened, but it loosened up surprisingly fast and I kind of forgot about it.That summer I joined my brother's men's slow pitch team for a couple of weekend tourneys per month. I was playing third base, with an expensive custom brace on my left knee, and muffed a hard grounder. After the dust settled, still pissed at myself for the error, I kicked at the ground like a fucking spoiled adolescent. I think I was expecting to just brush the dirt, but instead my cleats caught, the rest of my leg kept going, and I heard/felt that sickly, muted series of pops that comes from deep inside your knee as shit is tearing.It nearly crumpled me, but instead I just started hopping/gimping in a little circle...wondering if I could walk or even stand on it. The other team's base coach and the runner who had come in to third on the play both saw what happened and were quick to show their Nebraska classiness, which I did not want at the moment. I think half of my team saw the whole thing too but I'm pretty sure they didn't give a fuck if I was OK or have any interest in helping me if I needed it.I managed to play a few more games at first base and finish out the tourney but I was mostly useless. My ACL was torn and the chunk of meniscus that came out on that one was a personal record. It's easily the most disgraceful, embarrassing, damaging, stupid thing I've ever done during a sporting event. The next time I played a softball game I was wearing custom braces on both knees. My friends mockingly called me Terminator...with nothing even slightly complimentary intended. Dicks. This is the kind of content you just can’t get anywhere else.
I just thought of probably my worst one. My brother never lets me forget this one.I have a long history of knee problems. I won't go into it as it's a long history. Until my early 20s it was all with my left knee. I tweaked my right one playing hoops at Ravenna Park during my last spring in Seattle. It felt serious when it happened, but it loosened up surprisingly fast and I kind of forgot about it.That summer I joined my brother's men's slow pitch team for a couple of weekend tourneys per month. I was playing third base, with an expensive custom brace on my left knee, and muffed a hard grounder. After the dust settled, still pissed at myself for the error, I kicked at the ground like a fucking spoiled adolescent. I think I was expecting to just brush the dirt, but instead my cleats caught, the rest of my leg kept going, and I heard/felt that sickly, muted series of pops that comes from deep inside your knee as shit is tearing.It nearly crumpled me, but instead I just started hopping/gimping in a little circle...wondering if I could walk or even stand on it. The other team's base coach and the runner who had come in to third on the play both saw what happened and were quick to show their Nebraska classiness, which I did not want at the moment. I think half of my team saw the whole thing too but I'm pretty sure they didn't give a fuck if I was OK or have any interest in helping me if I needed it.I managed to play a few more games at first base and finish out the tourney but I was mostly useless. My ACL was torn and the chunk of meniscus that came out on that one was a personal record. It's easily the most disgraceful, embarrassing, damaging, stupid thing I've ever done during a sporting event. The next time I played a softball game I was wearing custom braces on both knees. My friends mockingly called me Terminator...with nothing even slightly complimentary intended. Dicks.
When I was 5 and played divegrass my cleat was untied and I went to kick the ball as hard as I could to score. Missed the ball completely and my cleat flew like 20 yards.
Probably when Teagan Quintoariano sodomized me with a TV remote
Intramural flag football at UW circa 1990 or ‘91. Ragtag bunch of McMahon dorm dipshits gets to the quarterfinals of the playoffs (okay, we won one game in the playoffs) playing against some asshole frat that ran, like, plays and shit. I of course was the quarterback, piloting us to greatness. Nobody believed in us, not even our own mothers.Clinging to a 7-6 lead late in the second half, trying to run out the clock, we have the ball. I roll to my left and see the sideline approaching. Being the heady player that I am I know if I go out of bounds it will stop the clock and we will probably give the ball back to those assholes. I see one ot my linemen (a guy nicknamed “Smoke”) standing back in the middle of the field near the LOS and I throw the ball back across my body (I am left-handed so it was my outside arm) towards me frenemy Smoke, who casually tries to catch the ball as some frat dbag steps in front of him, intercepts it, and returns it for a touchdown. We lose, despite one heroic last ditch Hail Mary that was dropped by another guy on the team.Honestly, none of this was my fault.I coulda been something. I coulda been a contender. Now all I’ve got is egg noodles and ketchup. I live my life like an ordinary schnook
Probably when Teagan Quintoariano sodomized me with a TV remote jfc how did this one fly under the radar? chincredible!
8th grade learning to throw discus . Spinning around wildly like a fucktard and I release the most glorious discus throw that Jr. High has ever seen, probably record setting. Except I released it almost completely sideways. The discus flew... it was beautiful... until it went directly into the popular all American track girl's leg while she was stretching to the side. She crumpled, it actually fractured femur. She never really ran the same again, she quit track and became a cheerleader, got pregnant senior year by some backup QB football player. Her parents never forgave me, the school actually had to build a cage around the field practice area for discus and shot throws because of "the incident"... I do wonder what would have happened if she had stuck with being an all state track star without a broken leg instead of a knocked up cheerleader. Well, for one thing, she wouldn't be your wife.
8th grade learning to throw discus . Spinning around wildly like a fucktard and I release the most glorious discus throw that Jr. High has ever seen, probably record setting. Except I released it almost completely sideways. The discus flew... it was beautiful... until it went directly into the popular all American track girl's leg while she was stretching to the side. She crumpled, it actually fractured femur. She never really ran the same again, she quit track and became a cheerleader, got pregnant senior year by some backup QB football player. Her parents never forgave me, the school actually had to build a cage around the field practice area for discus and shot throws because of "the incident"... I do wonder what would have happened if she had stuck with being an all state track star without a broken leg instead of a knocked up cheerleader. Hey, you legit ruining a girls life so a bunch of degenerates can chuckle on HH 20 years later is totally worth it. TYFYSRelated question: When you saw Gabe Marks knee happen did you have flashbacks to this moment?
8th grade learning to throw discus . Spinning around wildly like a fucktard and I release the most glorious discus throw that Jr. High has ever seen, probably record setting. Except I released it almost completely sideways. The discus flew... it was beautiful... until it went directly into the popular all American track girl's leg while she was stretching to the side. She crumpled, it actually fractured femur. She never really ran the same again, she quit track and became a cheerleader, got pregnant senior year by some backup QB football player. Her parents never forgave me, the school actually had to build a cage around the field practice area for discus and shot throws because of "the incident"... I do wonder what would have happened if she had stuck with being an all state track star without a broken leg instead of a knocked up cheerleader. Hey, you legit ruining a girls life so a bunch of degenerates can chuckle on HH 20 years later is totally worth it. TYFYSRelated question: When you saw Gabe Marks knee happen did you have flashbacks to this moment? Kind of reminds me of the super dumb chick I was study buddies with when I was a sophomore and she was a freshman. Totally stupid. But I carried her through the tests. Then we boned and I dropped the classFound out like a year later that class caused her to fail out and move back to Utah Where I'm assuming she got armpitted by a backup qb
8th grade learning to throw discus . Spinning around wildly like a fucktard and I release the most glorious discus throw that Jr. High has ever seen, probably record setting. Except I released it almost completely sideways. The discus flew... it was beautiful... until it went directly into the popular all American track girl's leg while she was stretching to the side. She crumpled, it actually fractured femur. She never really ran the same again, she quit track and became a cheerleader, got pregnant senior year by some backup QB football player. Her parents never forgave me, the school actually had to build a cage around the field practice area for discus and shot throws because of "the incident"... I do wonder what would have happened if she had stuck with being an all state track star without a broken leg instead of a knocked up cheerleader. Well, for one thing, she wouldn't be your wife. Nice
Good god, we gotta a lot of IMA legends up in here. @Tequilla has got some competition for the throne.
