Sales meetings...
Comments
-
Less be real - sales meetings are twash as fuck.
-
That’s a no for me dawg.
-
Yeah that shit is fucking bullshit. Have had way too many. Stupid prospects in Asia.
-
Well, I have board mailings this week and meetings next. Even with directing traffic, I'm up.
Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be lawyers. As I used to tell my father-in-law and uncle when they'd give me shit about my first year associate's salary being more than they made: they don't give it to me for free ese. Fuck'in A. -
You were wondering where your hair is going? This is where it's going.Swaye said:At 9PM at night. Orkin sucks.
-
The Throbber is morally and philosophically opposed to 'meetings'.
Get down in the trenches and talk to the workers. Get out in the field and talk to the customers. Get out from behind the computer screen where the biggest job requirement is building a nifty powerpoint and updating the weekly sales totals.
Meetings are fuckery.
-
Middle management for some reason forgets all of this and gets into the weeds of upper management’s disjointed view of reality to fuck up things up even more. It always amazes me watching management create work for themselves that just impedes others.PurpleThrobber said:
The Throbber is morally and philosophically opposed to 'meetings'.
Get down in the trenches and talk to the workers. Get out in the field and talk to the customers. Get out from behind the computer screen where the biggest job requirement is building a nifty powerpoint and updating the weekly sales totals.
Meetings are fuckery. -
Back in the day I outlawed meetings, at least as far as my participation.
Send me a two paragraph summary.
Worked fine. -
Sales meetings in general are almost fucking pointless for anyone who isn't in their 1st day of sales. For most companies, it is the same regurgitated bullshit repeated ad nauseum and just sucks up 30 mins to an hour that could be used to be doing something productive like poasting on the Hardcore Husky Finance Bored.
-
At a former job we used to have some yearly goal of some sort. It was a different goal every year and management would hound us to meet or beat it. It caused a lot of additional work for very little return. Then in one meeting they had a slide that had more info than they probably meant to provide. Turns out the yearly goal was tied to executive bonuses. So I’d bust my ass so some guy could get his bonus and then, in turn, I’d get a raise that often times didn’t even meet COLA. After that, I was aware of their goal, and would make an honest effort, but I never worked long hours for it.jecornel said:Middle management for some reason forgets all of this and gets into the weeds of upper management’s disjointed view of reality to fuck up things up even more. It always amazes me watching management create work for themselves that just impedes others.
PurpleThrobber said:The Throbber is morally and philosophically opposed to 'meetings'.
Get down in the trenches and talk to the workers. Get out in the field and talk to the customers. Get out from behind the computer screen where the biggest job requirement is building a nifty powerpoint and updating the weekly sales totals.
Meetings are fuckery. -
Could not agree more.CuntWaffle said:Sales meetings in general are almost fucking pointless for anyone who isn't in their 1st day of sales. For most companies, it is the same regurgitated bullshit repeated ad nauseum and just sucks up 30 mins to an hour that could be used to be doing something productive like poasting on the Hardcore Husky Finance Bored.
-
A lot of companies are still stuck in the 90's in Seattle:
Way too many useless middle managers (These guys will really help us!!!)
Engineers have actual requirements, few meetings unless it's necessary to coordinate a large project, but sales/implementation gets two dedicated 3 hour meetings per week, which no one knows what they actually get done (it's usually whining about why they suck and can't get x, y, z accomplished that week)
Too many people whose jobs can't be accurately estimated for performance (ie dumb fucks that know the engineers will wipe their ass and get the job done no matter what they do)
Too many "analysts" are who so fucking stupid that after every massive customer acquired, the end result (because they don't know the system their company built after 5 years) is usually "We have to make 20 custom features"
About every 3 months or so I go to the owners with a bunch of evidence and a sound argument as to why these people need to be gone and our company could exist with 1/2-1/3 of the number of employees, and I'm usually just responded to with some bonus check or paid vacation or I only have to work 2-3 hours per day for a month, because they know I'm right but feel sorry for these dumb shits. And these people still manage to get raises they don't deserve just because the company is growing so fast. -
In construction we don't fuck around with Sales Meetings. We leave that for the fags. We have jobsite meetings and we had staff meetings at the Carpet Kingdom
I could fill this board with tales of my bidness career but old people always ramble on about shit no one cares about
It was a different time and place
Our staff meetings were epic though. Type A only worked for us and the boss loved competition among the team. You better have your shit together or I would have your best crew on one of my projects before you knew what hit you.
Produce or get the fuck out is the only business model there is -
The best sales meetings were the ones that soaked up hours teaching about time management. Revolutionary stuff like "prioritizing your most important tasks first" and "Make the most of your 8 hours"
-
This doesn't apply to just "sales" meetings.CuntWaffle said:The best sales meetings were the ones that soaked up hours teaching about time management. Revolutionary stuff like "prioritizing your most important tasks first" and "Make the most of your 8 hours"
-
I have a weekly meeting with my boss on Monday for an hour. Which is mostly just me making him do stuff that he would forget to do otherwise.haie said:A lot of companies are still stuck in the 90's in Seattle:
Way too many useless middle managers (These guys will really help us!!!)
Engineers have actual requirements, few meetings unless it's necessary to coordinate a large project, but sales/implementation gets two dedicated 3 hour meetings per week, which no one knows what they actually get done (it's usually whining about why they suck and can't get x, y, z accomplished that week)
Too many people whose jobs can't be accurately estimated for performance (ie dumb fucks that know the engineers will wipe their ass and get the job done no matter what they do)
Too many "analysts" are who so fucking stupid that after every massive customer acquired, the end result (because they don't know the system their company built after 5 years) is usually "We have to make 20 custom features"
About every 3 months or so I go to the owners with a bunch of evidence and a sound argument as to why these people need to be gone and our company could exist with 1/2-1/3 of the number of employees, and I'm usually just responded to with some bonus check or paid vacation or I only have to work 2-3 hours per day for a month, because they know I'm right but feel sorry for these dumb shits. And these people still manage to get raises they don't deserve just because the company is growing so fast.
My bud the cfo creates like 50 meetings for himself and then complains he has too much and can't get anything done. Like dude why did we talk about the stuff during the meeting instead of just doing it in real time lol. -
Sales Conference >>> Sales meeting
-
Usually lots of nice scenery at a Sales Conference. Sadly, I always seem to be married when I'm at one.doogie said:Sales Conference >>> Sales meeting
-
I would just like to continue complaining about meetings (thought I guess they are really discussions with the client and are critical to moving highly technical sales forward) at bad hours. Multiple 11pm meeting starts to hit the start of the day in the Middle East sucks, but it’s funny when my colleagues in London want to join and I’m like tough shit, I can’t do 7am that day so you better get up early.
-
This was the worst type of meeting. Sales staff in Asia keeps me up until 10 at night so they can ask me how to position our shit (I'm not Sales I'm the magic man who gets shit done). After explaining to their dumbasses how we could do X for an hour I still had no faith they could actually explain it to a customer. These clowns couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the directions on the heel. So what will happen is I will get on the call with the customer and do their job for them, but they will still get the bonus when I close the deal and my team will just get more work.
In short, fuck sales they can eat my fucking ass. -
Sad!!Swaye said:This was the worst type of meeting. Sales staff in Asia keeps me up until 10 at night so they can ask me how to position our shit (I'm not Sales I'm the magic man who gets shit done). After explaining to their dumbasses how we could do X for an hour I still had no faith they could actually explain it to a customer. These clowns couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the directions on the heel. So what will happen is I will get on the call with the customer and do their job for them, but they will still get the bonus when I close the deal and my team will just get more work.
In short, fuck sales they can eat my fucking ass. -
-
-
damn
and I thought my Friday at 4:30 meetings sucked -
-
This guy is great. He says that if they are going to have more women on their board they have to do something to limit the amount of time they talk because women talk to too much.creepycoug said:
-
This is basically my job, design the product and get it off the ground, except then have our CCO realize hmmm no one we have can sell this, guess we better make whlinder the sales guy. Except there is no commission and all this intl travel I thought I was going to do in 2020 evaporated into 10pm calls (or 7am ones).Swaye said:This was the worst type of meeting. Sales staff in Asia keeps me up until 10 at night so they can ask me how to position our shit (I'm not Sales I'm the magic man who gets shit done). After explaining to their dumbasses how we could do X for an hour I still had no faith they could actually explain it to a customer. These clowns couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the directions on the heel. So what will happen is I will get on the call with the customer and do their job for them, but they will still get the bonus when I close the deal and my team will just get more work.
In short, fuck sales they can eat my fucking ass.
I've been successful enough at it and gotten it market credibility so that now some dummies can probably pick it up from me and I can go take my generalist role to tell people what the next big thing is we need to build and stop working so much. -
How do you get the bidness that puts food on the table and watches on the wrist ?Swaye said:This was the worst type of meeting. Sales staff in Asia keeps me up until 10 at night so they can ask me how to position our shit (I'm not Sales I'm the magic man who gets shit done). After explaining to their dumbasses how we could do X for an hour I still had no faith they could actually explain it to a customer. These clowns couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the directions on the heel. So what will happen is I will get on the call with the customer and do their job for them, but they will still get the bonus when I close the deal and my team will just get more work.
In short, fuck sales they can eat my fucking ass. -
The new sales reps at our company (who fucking suck) keeping asking us for reports on their territory. Like bitch you make all your money from new business. Fuck your territory. If I were you I'd never call a single customer. (They get like a kicker if the territory numbers grow )
I have legit real time dashboards on their commissions and quota rates from a damn power bi data scientist consultant. Like fuck you. Sell something
I've made it so easy. All they have to do is sell. There is virtually zero bs administrative stuff. Pricing, new account creation, agreements, etc all totally automated with a few clicks. -
I was asked (as in managers asked the owner to force us, of course with no tech people present) to make a custom billing and subscription system, plus a bunch of implementation tools, 100% in house. Engineers said, "Ughh so we're going to make tools that could potentially take longer than our main platform took, built for people that we pay, instead of people that pay us? While we already work our balls off to support pandemic growth and influx of customers?"Pitchfork51 said:The new sales reps at our company (who fucking suck) keeping asking us for reports on their territory. Like bitch you make all your money from new business. Fuck your territory. If I were you I'd never call a single customer. (They get like a kicker if the territory numbers grow )
I have legit real time dashboards on their commissions and quota rates from a damn power bi data scientist consultant. Like fuck you. Sell something
I've made it so easy. All they have to do is sell. There is virtually zero bs administrative stuff. Pricing, new account creation, agreements, etc all totally automated with a few clicks.
I didn't exactly say no, just slowly over time owner and vp came to the realization on their own of how embarrassing the situation was and tuned them out on it.
