4.5 Hours, 275 Miles, $200, And An Explosive Package: A Hardcore Husky Tale

It was a regular Tuesday until I received a message that would change my life:

"I have what you want: you're going to bring me cash, and you're going to do it soon."

Instantly my life changed. Anxiety and fear gripped me. Even though it would take place in a public arena, I'd never been a part of an exchange like this. I'm not @Swaye or @USMChawk or the countless other Hardcore Husky heroes. I've never fought for American freedom against the terrorists. The stories, photos, and gifs I've heard over the last year and a half about the most notorious terrorist on these boreds had left me shaken. Iran Air, hostage negotiations, improvised explosive devices, a call for all gay Muslims to join the fight. It was the stuff of nightmares.

For all I knew, I would end up a prisoner in an exchange gone bad:



But what choice did I have? He was right. He had what I wanted, and there was nothing I could do but show up with the money and hope for the best:



So I get in my truck, and I drive. I drive for hours not knowing what dangers lie ahead. We agreed to meet in Tacoma so we could be Tac Town Tuff. If there was anywhere that I had to fight for my life, I'd want it to be done in Tacoma so everyone knew I died TUFF.

But when I got to the parking lot for the exchange, what I found blew my mind. No bombs. No guns. No vans or blindfolds or shouting for gays. Just some really nice guy smiling and dancing with music and friends:



There was @PurpleBaze with a smile, a handshake, and some kickass purple and gold Addidas that he'd never worn. With a simple exchange of cash for sex shoes, I got the shoes Addidas fucked me on, and Baze got the money he needed for hookers and blow continuing his expensive new Rolex addiction spurned on by @YellowSnow's hobby bored and the watch snobs that inhabit it.

It's been 2 days: the shoes fit, haven't fallen apart, and the box didn't blow up. There were explosives inside the package, but it wasn't an IED. It was just a pair of kickass shoes. For all I know there is a mic and gps planted inside and he's tracking my movements and stealing all my info. Oh well, he'll be disappointed in what he finds out about me.

Thanks @PurpleBaze, you've opened my eyes: Not all terrorists are bad all the time. And hopefully I've opened yours: Not all infidels need to be exploded on sight.