ANNUAL FUND DRIVE (Updated 8-5-2019)

TheDozer said:

Swaye said:

It is that glorious time of the year when I flog all the pours for money they don't have. So, prepare your anus for public humiliation and mockery if you choose to exercise your right to be a FREE BEER fuckstain.



Claiming you are too pour to give is a lame ass excuse. Guess what fuckers, rob something! I did it for years. Sometimes I had issues. Meh.



I had hoped to launch this call to arms money grab after Stalin laid down his State of the Union, but the Secretary General of the Politburo tells me he is on a sex tour of Sweden and cannot be troubled until tomorrow at the earliest.



No matter. I have the numbers of who has given to this point. And, as an added bonus, Stalin, in his infinite wisdom has decided to extend the back dating of donations until mid-May to still count for the next year. It was supposed to only be June and July, but the Great Leader is merciful. If you contributed like a week before his cut off, welp, fuck off I guess. For everyone else, I'd expect when Stalin is back from getting AIDS you will see all your badges go away, and then be reapplied. We all love badges.



Last year for the fund drive we made $7763 bucks, or 7.76 inches, depending on how you look at things. For a refresh on how things came up (lulz) last year:

https://hardcorehusky.com/discussion/49482/cash-grab-update-8-30-18/p1

@Doog_de_Jour was pleased, but still longs for the day we can hit 8! After intense negotiations with @UW_Doog_Bot , he has agreed to bring back the dong this year. Only, it will be even better! A new and improved dong-o-meter if you will. Perhaps we will all see it in December. If we are lucky.

We are also making our target number 10 inches this year, which should really blow @TheRealUODuckGirl 's skirts up. I know that is a hefty target, but think of this just like the United Sex Drive - please give until it hurts. We had several folks donate well over the $129 dollar Wigwam requirement last year. One person we all know and love gave $250 bucks. The gauntlet has been dropped you cheap fucks.



So please give. We need it. Thanks. Fags.

Also, if you haven't heard, there is much more than just tits and ass in the Wam now. I mean tits and ass are still there, but so much more. Come find out what.

Last thing. Don't forget, if you want to give more, or help someone out, you can always "sponsor" someone for a badge. We have people (even alts you better thank me @SpiritHorse you fucking glue stick) get sponsored every year around here. Last year we probably had 5+ people sponsored or gifted a membership. People who are sponsored will now be identified, but the giver will only be revealed if they request it.


[THIS SPACE RESERVED FOR DONG]

Givers:

Standard:

Newton
ChuckHIV
NCDawg
55PP11

Butler Cabin:

NONE

Wigwam:

Swaye
The Knowledge
GreenriverGatorz
HuskyHooligan
Emoterman
Cougzz
NoWarningJustDawg
DoogDawg
DoogCodpiece
NEDawg12
DHD
Gladstone
PackTheFudge (sponsored)
ToiletBowl1983
2Five3fouronthehop
Meek
LostDoogReward
TheDozer
AlCerzak
PawgDawg
BayDawg
PurpleBaze (600 dollar donation!)




edit: Since Baze made all of us don't own herds of camels look cheap, I have decided that anyone who gives over the required Wigwam amount will get the amount forever emblazoned next to their name to symbolize their elite baller status.

Chinned but goddamit the HR lady walked in to ask me a question right around the 5 Swedish chicks.