It is that glorious time of the year when I flog all the pours for money they don't have. So, prepare your anus for public humiliation and mockery if you choose to exercise your right to be a FREE BEER fuckstain.
Claiming you are too pour to give is a lame ass excuse. Guess what fuckers, rob something! I did it for years. Sometimes I had issues. Meh.
I had hoped to launch this call to
money grab after Stalin laid down his State of the Union, but the Secretary General of the Politburo tells me he is on a sex tour of Sweden and cannot be troubled until tomorrow at the earliest.
No matter. I have the numbers of who has given to this point. And, as an added bonus, Stalin, in his infinite wisdom has decided to extend the back dating of donations until mid-May to still count for the next year. It was supposed to only be June and July, but the Great Leader is merciful. If you contributed like a week before his cut off, welp, fuck off I guess. For everyone else, I'd expect when Stalin is back from getting AIDS you will see all your badges go away, and then be reapplied. We all love badges.
Last year for the fund drive we made $7763 bucks, or 7.76 inches, depending on how you look at things. For a refresh on how things came up (lulz) last year:https://hardcorehusky.com/discussion/49482/cash-grab-update-8-30-18/p1@Doog_de_Jour
was pleased, but still longs for the day we can hit 8! After intense negotiations with @UW_Doog_Bot
, he has agreed to bring back the dong this year. Only, it will be even better! A new and improved dong-o-meter if you will. Perhaps we will all see it in December. If we are lucky.
We are also making our target number 10 inches this year, which should really blow @TheRealUODuckGirl
's skirts up. I know that is a hefty target, but think of this just like the United Sex Drive - please give until it hurts. We had several folks donate well over the $129 dollar Wigwam requirement last year. One person we all know and love gave $250 bucks. The gauntlet has been dropped you cheap fucks.
So please give. We need it. Thanks. Fags.
Also, if you haven't heard, there is much more than just tits and ass in the Wam now. I mean tits and ass are still there, but so much more. Come find out what.
Last thing. Don't forget, if you want to give more, or help someone out, you can always "sponsor" someone for a badge. We have people (even alts you better thank me @SpiritHorse
you fucking glue stick) get sponsored every year around here. Last year we probably had 5+ people sponsored or gifted a membership. People who are sponsored will now be identified, but the giver will only be revealed if they request it.
Pay close attention imbeciles. On the dong meter you will note that at 7.1" we cruise into virgin (lulz) territory and get a NEW expanded (lulz) Dong! Let's shoot (lulz) for the stars, but not the hair. @UWKatie EDIT: We have completely blown the top off (lulz) the old dong and are now in Mandingo territory! @UW_Doog_Bot is hard (lulz) at work creating somethign that can contain this level of dongery!
8) SpiritHorse (sponsored by UW_Doog_Bot)
9) AtomicDawgButler Cabin:
2) The Knowledge
7) NoWarningJustDawg (230 dollar donation!)
13) PackTheFudge (sponsored by Swaye)
21) PurpleBaze (600 dollar donation!)
22) YellowSnow (I gave one extra dollar and begged for someone to notice)
24) Ejm (150 dollar donation!)
26) Pawz (250 dollar donation!)
30) Doogles (150 dollar donation!)
35) DougCouric (181.81 donation! hahahahahahaha doing it for the lulz)
36) section8 (150 dollar donation!)
42) RaceBannon (155 dollar donation!)
43) Throatshit (150 dollar donation!)
49) NEnglandDawg (150 dollar donation!)
51) StLouisDawg (200 dollar donation!)
53) gunt *blessed*
54) UNKNOWN DONATION
56) CSEDawg (150 dollar donation!)
61) AEB (150 dollar donation!)
64) UNKNOWN DONATION
65) MisterEm (145 dollar donation!)
66) dnc (sponsored by MisterEm)
67) Princess J (sponsored by MisterEm)
69) HoustonHusky (69 69 69 69 69)
70) DirtySouffDWAG (sponsored by NoWarningJustDawg)
80) IceHolmvick (half sponsored by Emoterman)
81) AcropolisJr (sponsored by UW_Doog_Bot and Emoterman)
84) DodgyBloke (sponsored by Dawgtona!)
Total donations above and beyond the basic Wigwam level from all posters: $985
edit: Since Baze made all of us don't own herds of camels look cheap, I have decided that anyone who gives over the required Wigwam amount will get the amount forever emblazoned next to their name to symbolize their elite baller status.
camemade a deposit.
So, huge thanks to Baze. I mean that. Baller ass move and it is much appreciated. That is above and beyond shit there, and the gauntlet has well and truly been dropped you cheap fucks.
It also means a couple of other things.
1) The rest of you who can afford it now have a giving target that is serious business
2) Hamas probably gave him that money for diesel and fertilizer purchases, or to buy nuts and bolts and dynamite in bulk, so while 'Murica is a safer place today, this place is also now on a watch list for being financed by terrorism.
Good job. Good effort.
I am getting contribution updates pouring in over the HF antennae at HHB headquarters. Keep it up! The dong is rising!
Is there any gay stuff? Asking for a friend...