It took seeing three different references to @Swaye getting married and having a kid for me to click on this announcement. I never pay attention to the announcement threads, and now I am shaking and about to vomit.
Best white man name for Swaye would be Jake. Can't get enough of Jake hawt talk on this board.
What I want to know is if you're upgrading to a two-room teepee with the little one on the way, or maybe even springing for one of those long halls like they have at Tillicum Village?
Can we assume the dinner menu for the wedding reception consists of various corn dishes, smoked salmon, and whale blubber?
You are thinking of PNW Injuns. For our appetizer we are serving roasted grubs, followed by corn, and then buffalo (wings). Open bar stocked only with firewater, and snakes and sparklers for the kiddies. Mescaline doled out in the trailer behind the bowling alley.
@backthepack and I confirmed crashing at this point. Don't mind what we slip in the punch bowl. It's all for the best.
This is actually exactly how I picture you two. I'll let you guess who I think has the porn stache.
U lying fuck swaye
You know btp can't grow facial hair
For the record I'm in my thirties and still will only grow a pedo stache so....
Alright. Well, from one retard who's already hit that figurative eject button, here's my biggest tip:
Once that baby's out, keep CLS the fuck away from Facebook and social media in general. That shit is designed in a lab to turn new mothers into competitive, overemotional monsters. Freaking squirrels have babies (and more at a time than humans at that), and yet Facebook convinces every new mother that "the miracle of birth" endows them with mythical hero status. And your alien-looking wiggling skin pile of a baby is the cutest thing on the planet and DEFINITELY already a genius because it pointed at that one thing that one time when the books say that shouldn't happen for another two weeks, but fuck Alice and her shit ugly baby that's too stupid to roll over yet.
This may be the funniest line I have ever read here. Criminally underchinned at 17!
Swaye's life sentence (and photoshopping MSPainting pubes onto an OSU rowboat) has been really good for my brand. I'm up to 50.68:1! @UW_Doog_Bot, time to release the rankings, stat!
Alright. Well, from one retard who's already hit that figurative eject button, here's my biggest tip:
Once that baby's out, keep CLS the fuck away from Facebook and social media in general. That shit is designed in a lab to turn new mothers into competitive, overemotional monsters. Freaking squirrels have babies (and more at a time than humans at that), and yet Facebook convinces every new mother that "the miracle of birth" endows them with mythical hero status. And your alien-looking wiggling skin pile of a baby is the cutest thing on the planet and DEFINITELY already a genius because it pointed at that one thing that one time when the books say that shouldn't happen for another two weeks, but fuck Alice and her shit ugly baby that's too stupid to roll over yet.
This is highly accurate. Also the driver of a ton of unneccessary expenses. Like I said before I lucked out and married a minimalist but if CLS isn’t one, keep her off social media and especially Pinterest.
I call it "competitive momming." Live in Yuppyville like me, and it's even worse. You're made to feel guilty for not putting your kids in expensive private schools or after-school programs, not getting them the best things, not sacrificing as much as the other mom. I'm so sick of watching my friends' wives climb up on their crosses and then complain about it.
East Queen Anne is the epicenter of competitive mommying in our region.
Comments
photoshoppingMSPainting pubes onto an OSU rowboat) has been really good for my brand. I'm up to 50.68:1! @UW_Doog_Bot, time to release the rankings, stat!My dad thinks it’s funny how much it pisses them off.
I don’t really care.
You win either way.