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Big dick hires since 2000

theknowledgetheknowledge Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 5,233 Founders Club
in Hardcore Husky Board
Here are some Big dick teams from around the country and their coach hirings since 2000ish. I put "limp dick hirings", those that were coordinators, internal hirings, NFL assistants, hiring of a fired coach or coaches from group of five or 1AA in bold type. I put a star next to the Limp dick hires that paid off. (I counted Coker and Orgeron as successes. Win a natty and pop off. Rick and Helfrich are fails as they both eroded the programs without national titles even though both won a Rose Bowl) Meyer (2005) and Franchione (2001) are counted as a limp dick because Utah was MW at the time and TCU was Conference USA.

Florida
2002 Ron Zook DC New Orleans Saints
*2005 Urban Meyer HC Utah*
2011 Will Muschamp Texas DC
2015 Jim McElwain Alabama OC
2018 Dan Mullen MSU HC
2021 Billy Napier Louisiana HC

Florida State
*2010 Jimbo Fisher FSU OC*
2018 Willie Taggert Oregon HC
2020 Mike Norvell Memphis HC

Miami
*2001 Larry Coker Miami OC*
2007 Randy Shannon Miami DC
2011 Al Golden Temple HC
2016 Mark Richt Fired Georgia HC
2019 Manny Diaz Miami DC?Temple HC

Georgia
*2001 Mark Richt FSU OC*
*2016 Kirby Smart Alabama DC*

LSU
2000 Nick Saban Michigan State HC
2005 Les Miles Oklahoma State HC
*2016 Ed Orgeron LSU DL coach*

Alabama
2001 Dennis Franchione TCU HC
2003 Mike Price Washington State HC
2003 Mike Shula QB coach Miami Dolphins
2007 Nick Saban Miami Dolphins

Ohio State
*2001 Jim Tressel Youngstown State HC*
2012 Urban Meyer Free agent
*2019 Ryan Day Ohio State OC*

Michigan
2008 Rich Rodriguez West Virginia HC
2011 Brady Hoke San Diego State HC
2015 Jim Harbaugh Free Agent

Penn State
2012 Bill O’Brien New England Patriots OC
2014 James Franklin Vanderbilt HC

Oklahoma
*1999 Bob Stoops Florida DC*
*2017 Lincoln Riley Oklahoma OC*

Texas
2014 Charlie Strong Louisville HC
2017 Tom Hermon Houston HC
2021 Steve Sarkisian Alabama OC

USC
*2001 Pete Carrol free agent*
2010 Lane Kiffin Tennessee HC
2014 Steve Sarkisian Washington HC
2015 Clay Helton USC OC
2021 Lincoln Riley Oklahoma HC

Oregon
*2009 Chip Kelly Oregon OC*
2013 Mark Helfrich Oregon OC
2017 Willie Taggart South Florida HC
*2018 Mario Cristobal OL Coach/CoOC*


Washington
1999 Rick Neuheisel Colorado HC
2004 Keith Gilbertson Washington OC
2005 Ty Willingham Fired Notre Dame HC
2009 Steve Sarkisian USC OC
*2014 Chris Petersen Boise State HC*
2019 Jimmy Lake Washington DC
2020 Kalen DeBoer Fresno State HC


14/37 limp dick hires worked out.
6/15 Big dick Power 5 to Power 5 moves worked out.

As you can see a lot of small dick hires end up looking pretty good and and a lot of BIG DICK moves sometimes shrivel. You can argue about a couple coaches on this list and whether they should be considered a success or not. UW is historically bad at this the last 20 years and USC is pretty bad at stealing other Power 5 head coaches. No wonder the Pac 12 has died. LIPO on the new UW coach. This is about as inexact a science as you can get. I'm excited by DeBoer. He's a winner and there haven't been that many of those to go around the last 20 years.
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Comments

  • digitsdigits Member Posts: 1,686
    Good chit. TYFYS.
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  • UW_Doog_BotUW_Doog_Bot Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 16,474 Swaye's Wigwam
    Best work so far.
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  • whatshouldicareaboutwhatshouldicareabout Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 12,949 Swaye's Wigwam
    We hired DeBoer in 2020?
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  • theknowledgetheknowledge Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 5,233 Founders Club
    NEsnake12 said:

    I respect sticking to a strict criteria for categorizing big dick vs limp dick hires, but it's hard to justify calling Petersen and Urban Meyer circa 2005 as limp dick while saying Willie Taggart to FSU was a big dick hire.

    Understood but Florida stealing MW Utah’s Coach is a good hire but it’s not taking another Power 5 programs coach. That’s Big dicking someone. People on these boards wanted UW to Big Dick someone. I wanted to see how that traditionally worked out. Really though, It’s all still a crapshoot.
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  • theknowledgetheknowledge Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 5,233 Founders Club
    whatshouldicareabout said:

    We hired DeBoer in 2020?

    Whoops!
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  • AlexisAlexis Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 3,216 Swaye's Wigwam
    Great list
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  • RTDRTD Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 836 Founders Club
    theknowledge said:

    NEsnake12 said:

    I respect sticking to a strict criteria for categorizing big dick vs limp dick hires, but it's hard to justify calling Petersen and Urban Meyer circa 2005 as limp dick while saying Willie Taggart to FSU was a big dick hire.

    Understood but Florida stealing MW Utah’s Coach is a good hire but it’s not taking another Power 5 programs coach. That’s Big dicking someone. People on these boards wanted UW to Big Dick someone. I wanted to see how that traditionally worked out. Really though, It’s all still a crapshoot.
    Urbans not the best example. He was on staff at Note Dame when they chose Bob Davies to replace Holtz. Everyone in South Bend new he was a rising star, and he had Holtz coaching tree to pull from.

    If the Dawgs were getting this years version of Urban (Napier) I for one would be pumped up.



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  • theknowledgetheknowledge Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 5,233 Founders Club
    WilburHooksHands said:

    like 5% of hires actually work out so it would be nice if everybody shut the fuck up about big dicks or small dicks. If its deboer ive already seen a guy who did more with our QBs than us and almost dropped his mountain west nuts on oregons chin at home so im good with it.

    The autocorrect on my phone and computer already recognizes his name as DeBoner though.
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  • Seven_ElevenSeven_Eleven Member Posts: 124
    WilburHooksHands said:

    like 5% of hires actually work out so it would be nice if everybody shut the fuck up about big dicks or small dicks. If its deboer ive already seen a guy who did more with our QBs than us and almost dropped his mountain west nuts on oregons chin at home so im good with it.

    Almost beat Oregon. Nothing Else Matters.

    I sense a new slogan
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  • WilburHooksHandsWilburHooksHands Member Posts: 6,804
    Seven_Eleven said:

    WilburHooksHands said:

    like 5% of hires actually work out so it would be nice if everybody shut the fuck up about big dicks or small dicks. If its deboer ive already seen a guy who did more with our QBs than us and almost dropped his mountain west nuts on oregons chin at home so im good with it.

    Almost beat Oregon. Nothing Else Matters.

    I sense a new slogan
    thats already taken by Petersen
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  • AlexisAlexis Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 3,216 Swaye's Wigwam
    in 2016 Matt Campbell went 9-2 at Toledo and in 2017 Jason Candle went 9-4.

    In 2016 Paul Rhoads went 3-9 at Iowa State. In 2017 Matt Campbell went 3-9 at Iowa State.

    In 2019 Fresno St went 4-8 under Tedford. In 2020 Fresno St went 3-3 under Deboner.

    Again, someone has to explain to me how Campbell is that much better.

    We (?) offered him what, almost 40 mil and he didn't want it. Not sure what the teeth gnashing and hand wringing is about. You don't win 3 out of 4 championships at any level without actually knowing how to coach the game. We haven't had an actual in game coach that had any idea how to run clock or adjust on the fly for 20 years.

    I'm definitely in the LIPO camp. And unlike most of the Deboner haters, I actually pay money to the fucking program each year. (stupidly, because I hate money)


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  • TheHBTheHB Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 6,454 Swaye's Wigwam
    Campbell is better than Wilcox. That’s the extent of his upside.
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  • DugtheDoogDugtheDoog Member Posts: 3,180
    Can a limp dick still be big though? Pepper Schwartz taught me about growers vs showers.

    Just food for thot
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  • DugtheDoogDugtheDoog Member Posts: 3,180
    For some reason deboers resume keeps making me think of that other coach from 1 of the Dakota's who dominated div2, projected himself as being well endowed and went to Wyoming maybe? The fact I don't know means he hasn't done shit there.

    My "Boner 4 deboner" XXXXXXXL shirt is currently awaiting arrival at processing facility.
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  • backthepackbackthepack Member Posts: 19,915
    If he hires recruitters I’ll suck his dick to kingdom come
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  • AlexisAlexis Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 3,216 Swaye's Wigwam
    backthepack said:

    If he hires recruitters I’ll suck his dick Deboner to kingdom come

    Come on man. That's too easy to miss.

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