Is there a living coach that fucked up so bad you personally wouldn’t welcome him to UW?

DoogmanRefund

So obviously Joe Paterno and Woody Hayes are dead so we can’t entertain resurrecting their respective images. But, I’m trying to think of a great living coach who I wouldn’t want within 100 feet of this program. I want wins so bad I would absolutely take Urban, Briles, probably Freeze. Who is out there that has a great track record and untouchably shady past?
Any serial rapists or child murderers?

GreenRiverGatorz

Hugh Freeze isn't nearly good enough to put up with his shit. I'm also on the record as taking a very firm and righteous stance against rape, so Briles is out.

Roll out the red carpet for anyone else, and that includes Hayes's reanimated corpse.

BleachedAnusDawg

Briles because he basically facilitated rape.

Gruden because his emails carry way too much baggage to recruit effectively.

MelloDawg

Jimmy Lake.

whlinder

Tyrone Willingham

LebamDawg

Chris Peterman?

1to392831weretaken

If there's one way in which I don't fit in here, it's that I like my progrums clean. That it is literally impossible to win that way is largely responsible for why I have given up caring.

I mean, if winning is the only thing that matters, just pick a team that's winning, bandwagon up, and have fun.

DoogieMcDoogerson

1to392831weretaken said:

If there's one way in which I don't fit in here, it's that I like my progrums clean. That it is literally impossible to win that way is largely responsible for why I have given up caring.

I mean, if winning is the only thing that matters, just pick a team that's winning, bandwagon up, and have fun.

OK, fucking big rant here.

I prefer being on the edge of clean. Say Mother Fucker, not "Mamma Jamma." I don't want a "it's a process" moral victory type coach, I want someone who in their soul has to win and will run up to the edge of every cliff to do so. Someone who fucking inspires players.

Jimmy is a "it's a process" "it's hard" coach. Fuck that. I want someone who revels in running up the fucking score. Someone who will get his players to play with an edge. Someone who will call out his players when they fuck up. Someone who will say it like it fucking is. Someone who infects his team and recruits athletes that need to win for their soul to be healthy. Sark is probably the closest thing we've had to that guy. Balls to the walls. Fuck this comportment bullshit and level-headed leader stuff. Fucking break shit and if it doesn't work, try again. Fuck risk management. Be a fucking force to deal with. Impose your will on your opponent - don't fucking manage risk on your way to victory. Fuck clock management. Fuck deep safeties. Fuck offenses that eat clock. Just go for the fucking jugular whenever it is there for your taking.

I fucking hate the current state of husky football.

Doog_de_Jour

1to392831weretaken said:

If there's one way in which I don't fit in here, it's that I like my progrums clean. That it is literally impossible to win that way is largely responsible for why I have given up caring.

I mean, if winning is the only thing that matters, just pick a team that's winning, bandwagon up, and have fun.

You’re not alone in that.

1to392831weretaken

DoogieMcDoogerson said:

1to392831weretaken said:

If there's one way in which I don't fit in here, it's that I like my progrums clean. That it is literally impossible to win that way is largely responsible for why I have given up caring.

I mean, if winning is the only thing that matters, just pick a team that's winning, bandwagon up, and have fun.

OK, fucking big rant here.

I prefer being on the edge of clean. Say Mother Fucker, not "Mamma Jamma." I don't want a "it's a process" moral victory type coach, I want someone who in their soul has to win and will run up to the edge of every cliff to do so. Someone who fucking inspires players.

Jimmy is a "it's a process" "it's hard" coach. Fuck that. I want someone who revels in running up the fucking score. Someone who will get his players to play with an edge. Someone who will call out his players when they fuck up. Someone who will say it like it fucking is. Someone who infects his team and recruits athletes that need to win for their soul to be healthy. Sark is probably the closest thing we've had to that guy. Balls to the walls. Fuck this comportment bullshit and level-headed leader stuff. Fucking break shit and if it doesn't work, try again. Fuck risk management. Be a fucking force to deal with. Impose your will on your opponent - don't fucking manage risk on your way to victory. Fuck clock management. Fuck deep safeties. Fuck offenses that eat clock. Just go for the fucking jugular whenever it is there for your taking.

I fucking hate the current state of husky football.

None of what you said is what I meant by "clean." Petersen seemed awfully fine with Say Who. Petersen also seemed to get caught pretty often swearing like a sailor into his headset. His offense and defense may not have been the most exciting, but otherwise I think you described him to a tee. His early teams were salty, talked shit, etc. I'm fine with all of that. Sark is a great example of that bullshit bravado going too far and resulting in undisciplined teams that can't play on the road, constantly get stupid penalties, don't play disciplined, etc. You can have that if it's what you want.

By "clean," I'm more referring to things like not using your first draft pick on a guy who wrecked a motel room with his girlfriend's face. Not letting players do airsoft drivebys because they're your starting corners. Not waiting until the season is over to take the star player's rape victim's claims seriously. There are thousands of high school football players graduating every year, so I don't understand why it's so hard to find between 20 and 25 who aren't violent criminals yet are capable of winning at the D1 level. Or keeping them from becoming violent criminals once on campus.

Swearing? Who gives a fuck.

RaceBannon

I believe in 2nd chances

Third if its a 4.3 40

dirtysouwfdawg

DoogieMcDoogerson said:

1to392831weretaken said:

If there's one way in which I don't fit in here, it's that I like my progrums clean. That it is literally impossible to win that way is largely responsible for why I have given up caring.

I mean, if winning is the only thing that matters, just pick a team that's winning, bandwagon up, and have fun.

OK, fucking big rant here.

I prefer being on the edge of clean. Say Mother Fucker, not "Mamma Jamma." I don't want a "it's a process" moral victory type coach, I want someone who in their soul has to win and will run up to the edge of every cliff to do so. Someone who fucking inspires players.

Jimmy is a "it's a process" "it's hard" coach. Fuck that. I want someone who revels in running up the fucking score. Someone who will get his players to play with an edge. Someone who will call out his players when they fuck up. Someone who will say it like it fucking is. Someone who infects his team and recruits athletes that need to win for their soul to be healthy. Sark is probably the closest thing we've had to that guy. Balls to the walls. Fuck this comportment bullshit and level-headed leader stuff. Fucking break shit and if it doesn't work, try again. Fuck risk management. Be a fucking force to deal with. Impose your will on your opponent - don't fucking manage risk on your way to victory. Fuck clock management. Fuck deep safeties. Fuck offenses that eat clock. Just go for the fucking jugular whenever it is there for your taking.

I fucking hate the current state of husky football.

Or summarized as FYFMFE.

That was a lot of fucks doogie.

DoogieMcDoogerson

1to392831weretaken said:

DoogieMcDoogerson said:

1to392831weretaken said:

If there's one way in which I don't fit in here, it's that I like my progrums clean. That it is literally impossible to win that way is largely responsible for why I have given up caring.

I mean, if winning is the only thing that matters, just pick a team that's winning, bandwagon up, and have fun.

OK, fucking big rant here.

I prefer being on the edge of clean. Say Mother Fucker, not "Mamma Jamma." I don't want a "it's a process" moral victory type coach, I want someone who in their soul has to win and will run up to the edge of every cliff to do so. Someone who fucking inspires players.

Jimmy is a "it's a process" "it's hard" coach. Fuck that. I want someone who revels in running up the fucking score. Someone who will get his players to play with an edge. Someone who will call out his players when they fuck up. Someone who will say it like it fucking is. Someone who infects his team and recruits athletes that need to win for their soul to be healthy. Sark is probably the closest thing we've had to that guy. Balls to the walls. Fuck this comportment bullshit and level-headed leader stuff. Fucking break shit and if it doesn't work, try again. Fuck risk management. Be a fucking force to deal with. Impose your will on your opponent - don't fucking manage risk on your way to victory. Fuck clock management. Fuck deep safeties. Fuck offenses that eat clock. Just go for the fucking jugular whenever it is there for your taking.

I fucking hate the current state of husky football.

None of what you said is what I meant by "clean." Petersen seemed awfully fine with Say Who. Petersen also seemed to get caught pretty often swearing like a sailor into his headset. His offense and defense may not have been the most exciting, but otherwise I think you described him to a tee. His early teams were salty, talked shit, etc. I'm fine with all of that. Sark is a great example of that bullshit bravado going too far and resulting in undisciplined teams that can't play on the road, constantly get stupid penalties, don't play disciplined, etc. You can have that if it's what you want.

By "clean," I'm more referring to things like not using your first draft pick on a guy who wrecked a motel room with his girlfriend's face. Not letting players do airsoft drivebys because they're your starting corners. Not waiting until the season is over to take the star player's rape victim's claims seriously. There are thousands of high school football players graduating every year, so I don't understand why it's so hard to find between 20 and 25 who aren't violent criminals yet are capable of winning at the D1 level. Or keeping them from becoming violent criminals once on campus.

Swearing? Who gives a fuck.

Wasn't intending to describe Pete. Dude was a little too conservative for my taste. Young Sark was too far the other direction. My hope with Jimmy was he'd be less conservative, take more chances and give more shits about winning. Does not seem to be the case.

DoogieMcDoogerson

dirtysouwfdawg said:

DoogieMcDoogerson said:

1to392831weretaken said:

If there's one way in which I don't fit in here, it's that I like my progrums clean. That it is literally impossible to win that way is largely responsible for why I have given up caring.

I mean, if winning is the only thing that matters, just pick a team that's winning, bandwagon up, and have fun.

OK, fucking big rant here.

I prefer being on the edge of clean. Say Mother Fucker, not "Mamma Jamma." I don't want a "it's a process" moral victory type coach, I want someone who in their soul has to win and will run up to the edge of every cliff to do so. Someone who fucking inspires players.

Jimmy is a "it's a process" "it's hard" coach. Fuck that. I want someone who revels in running up the fucking score. Someone who will get his players to play with an edge. Someone who will call out his players when they fuck up. Someone who will say it like it fucking is. Someone who infects his team and recruits athletes that need to win for their soul to be healthy. Sark is probably the closest thing we've had to that guy. Balls to the walls. Fuck this comportment bullshit and level-headed leader stuff. Fucking break shit and if it doesn't work, try again. Fuck risk management. Be a fucking force to deal with. Impose your will on your opponent - don't fucking manage risk on your way to victory. Fuck clock management. Fuck deep safeties. Fuck offenses that eat clock. Just go for the fucking jugular whenever it is there for your taking.

I fucking hate the current state of husky football.

Or summarized as FYFMFE.

That was a lot of fucks doogie.

Thanks, man. It was impassioned. I was on a roll.

ntxduck

DoogmanRefund said:

So obviously Joe Paterno and Woody Hayes are dead so we can’t entertain resurrecting their respective images. But, I’m trying to think of a great living coach who I wouldn’t want within 100 feet of this program. I want wins so bad I would absolutely take Urban, Briles, probably Freeze. Who is out there that has a great track record and untouchably shady past?
Any serial rapists or child murderers?

Sandusky

1to392831weretaken

DoogieMcDoogerson said:

1to392831weretaken said:

DoogieMcDoogerson said:

1to392831weretaken said:

If there's one way in which I don't fit in here, it's that I like my progrums clean. That it is literally impossible to win that way is largely responsible for why I have given up caring.

I mean, if winning is the only thing that matters, just pick a team that's winning, bandwagon up, and have fun.

OK, fucking big rant here.

I prefer being on the edge of clean. Say Mother Fucker, not "Mamma Jamma." I don't want a "it's a process" moral victory type coach, I want someone who in their soul has to win and will run up to the edge of every cliff to do so. Someone who fucking inspires players.

Jimmy is a "it's a process" "it's hard" coach. Fuck that. I want someone who revels in running up the fucking score. Someone who will get his players to play with an edge. Someone who will call out his players when they fuck up. Someone who will say it like it fucking is. Someone who infects his team and recruits athletes that need to win for their soul to be healthy. Sark is probably the closest thing we've had to that guy. Balls to the walls. Fuck this comportment bullshit and level-headed leader stuff. Fucking break shit and if it doesn't work, try again. Fuck risk management. Be a fucking force to deal with. Impose your will on your opponent - don't fucking manage risk on your way to victory. Fuck clock management. Fuck deep safeties. Fuck offenses that eat clock. Just go for the fucking jugular whenever it is there for your taking.

I fucking hate the current state of husky football.

None of what you said is what I meant by "clean." Petersen seemed awfully fine with Say Who. Petersen also seemed to get caught pretty often swearing like a sailor into his headset. His offense and defense may not have been the most exciting, but otherwise I think you described him to a tee. His early teams were salty, talked shit, etc. I'm fine with all of that. Sark is a great example of that bullshit bravado going too far and resulting in undisciplined teams that can't play on the road, constantly get stupid penalties, don't play disciplined, etc. You can have that if it's what you want.

By "clean," I'm more referring to things like not using your first draft pick on a guy who wrecked a motel room with his girlfriend's face. Not letting players do airsoft drivebys because they're your starting corners. Not waiting until the season is over to take the star player's rape victim's claims seriously. There are thousands of high school football players graduating every year, so I don't understand why it's so hard to find between 20 and 25 who aren't violent criminals yet are capable of winning at the D1 level. Or keeping them from becoming violent criminals once on campus.

Swearing? Who gives a fuck.

Wasn't intending to describe Pete. Dude was a little too conservative for my taste. Young Sark was too far the other direction. My hope with Jimmy was he'd be less conservative, take more chances and give more shits about winning. Does not seem to be the case.

I think that was 81% of posters here's hope. Mine too. Petersen was largely responsible for me going balls deep back into Husky fandom. Was nice to be a fan of the "good guy" for once. The team just got so fucking hard to watch toward the end, though, and Petersen's burnout and stubborness (and, let's be fair, loyalty that I want to find admirable but led to losses) had a lot to do with it. I saw Lake as an opportunity to keep all of the things that Petersen did to elevate the program while also improving all of the things that Petersen refused to. With the benefit of hindsight, I laugh at how stupid it was to think that there was even a chance of that happening.

PurpleThrobber

ntxduck said:

DoogmanRefund said:

So obviously Joe Paterno and Woody Hayes are dead so we can’t entertain resurrecting their respective images. But, I’m trying to think of a great living coach who I wouldn’t want within 100 feet of this program. I want wins so bad I would absolutely take Urban, Briles, probably Freeze. Who is out there that has a great track record and untouchably shady past?
Any serial rapists or child murderers?

Sandusky

Widen that to include anyone every associated with Penn State.

(Donovan)

haie

Chris "3/6 years and then quit like a loser after getting fucked by Oregon and 2%" Petersen

AOG

Just don't hire a favorite alum (a Scott Frost) nor assistant that lacks head coach experience. Both of those types are feel good first but usually fail.

bananasnblondes

Steve Sarkisian

GrundleStiltzkin

https://twitter.com/alexbadley/status/1448238080977104898