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5 questions the Washington Huskies must answer in 2020
DerekJohnson
Administrator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 65,331 
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1.) Jock "Python" Sirmon has 97 high school interceptions and two throws of college, and he'll do anything to win the game.
2.) Offensive line. Averages 332 of solid man meat across the line, and they're ready to dominate the line of scrimmage. Center, Ossai, Jawz, yadda, yadda, ready to rumble.
3.) Lake. He's been drinking stale Folgers he bums from a police station and rowing to work on a raft he made out of driftwood and duck tape. Everyone's talking about the difference between how aggressive the Dwags were in 2019 and how aggressive they will be in all phases come 2023 when football resumes.
4.) Speed, speed, speed. This is the fastest team UW's had since god's dog was a pup and that pup was a black, racist, foul-mouthed cripple with long blond flowing locks and Scandanavian ancestory. Jordan Chin, Chincredible, Chinsanity, Chintillation, Louis Rankin, three fullbacks, and five H-backs. The noobs will be inexperienced, but we? bring a new dimension that the program hasn't boasted since the last pandemic: speed.
5.) Time of possession. James Reservoir, as one might call him if they were a retarded bitch boy from the highest division in a football state, isn't going to decide to just stop gashing the defense for no reason and settle for a field goal that he knows his kicker can't make. He's not going to lose a game running the football when taking a knee four times guarantees victory. He's not going to call a fucking wildcat dive with the 4th string running back on 3rd and 1 in a close game. He's not going to suddenly stop doing what was working and call something fucking asinine because reasons. Not managing the clock like a total retard will keep the defense off the field, giving us? a greater chance to win.
I think our Huskies win the 2023 season rather easily, say... 7-6?
Not technically gifted writing.
Not well researched and obviously not very connected.
Don’t waste your time unless you are literally trying to just waste time.
He doesn't have a degree in sports journalism or even basic news writing... he's got a BFA in creative writing and lives in North Carolina... I'm sure he read some Doog Man article that spouted generic talking points and figured what they said was an accurate representation. He didn't bother to go into any depth about the roster and has no idea half of the players he touts simply for being starters a year ago sucked total dog shit... all the players he does mention require a 5 second google search to read a blurb on and place in the "article."
Prime example: "Finding players to step up in the passing game could be of concern, though. With tight end Hunter Bryant and wide receiver Aaron Fuller, the Huskies’ leaders in receiving yards last season, now in the NFL, Sirmon needs some pass-catchers to step into bigger roles and claim their spot." Yeah they didn't get drafted numb nuts... and WR/TE is arguably our most talented group of players on the roster.
Then of course he calls Puka Nacua "intriguing"... no shit Sherlock... if you knew anything you'd eviscerate last year's coaching staff for starting Fuller and Opera ahead of him... but of course you don't.
Sports journalism is so bad these days... anyone can do it with such easy access to publication... whatever entertains the casual fan I guess...
Doesn't even have a degree in sports journalism or basic news writing. Has a BFA in creative writing and lives in North Carolina.
Super generic talking points ripped off of every crap season preview provided by Doogman:
Sirmon vs Morris... "they are inexperienced... blah blah blah..."
Fails to recognize that WR/TE position group is probably the most loaded w. talent on the roster... Prime example: "Finding players to step up in the passing game could be of concern, though. With tight end Hunter Bryant and wide receiver Aaron Fuller, the Huskies’ leaders in receiving yards last season, now in the NFL, Sirmon needs some pass-catchers to step into bigger roles and claim their spot."
Nevermind that neither got drafted... Fuller had stones for hands and Opera took snaps away from Bynum who is the much better player. Mentions Puka is "intruiging..." yeah no shit Sherlock... a 5-second Google search will tell you that... and if you knew anything you'd know the coaches fucked up big time starting our midget seniors ahead of him... but of course he doesn't know that.
He just goes into 0 depth and all his lazy research did was get him a list of popular names/upperclassmen to tout thinking it makes him credible.
Sports journalism is dying with such easy access to publication... barf
Been out of TV for a while now though.