Coping with death of dear ones

jecornel

What's the best advice you have gotten to get through it?

DerekJohnson

patience
get outside and exercise
have someone trusted to talk to
If you have a faith, lean into it

jecornel

Thanks Derek.

PurpleThrobber

Time. Lots of time.

They are still with you - listen closely. They'll speak to you when you need to hear them.

BleachedAnusDawg

We already saying UW football is officially dead? Let us wait until the opening game loss to Michigan, at least.

T's and P's though.

SECDAWG

Time. It takes a lot of time. Time is your friend. Takes a long time to get over the loss
Of a loved one.

Mad_Son

Like everyone said, time. That is the one thing everyone had in common. Some people do best burying themselves in work. Others need to dwell on it for a while. I find laughing helps. For me binging South Park would be a good choice.

dnc

Never an easy thing for anyone.

Ts and Ps man.

For real.

section8

Time
Do what feels right for you. Everyone has a different process.

chuck

This isn't advice someone gave me. It's what I learned myself. Dont try to "get through it". Grief feels better than emptiness.

My Dad is really the only close person I've lost to date. I'd have dreams about him and instead of waking up sad I'd be happy that I got to spend that time with him. Instead of being overwhelmed by the waves of sadness that would come over me during the day, I learned to relish them as I felt close to him during those moments.

The frequency of those moments and the dreams eventually fade and I missed them when they were gone. I decided that grief was a gift to be embraced, not overcome.

jecornel

All great stuff. Thank you.

Swaye

chuck said:

This isn't advice someone gave me. It's what I learned myself. Dont try to "get through it". Grief feels better than emptiness.

My Dad is really the only close person I've lost to date. I'd have dreams about him and instead of waking up sad I'd be happy that I got to spend that time with him. Instead of being overwhelmed by the waves of sadness that would come over me during the day, I learned to relish them as I felt close to him during those moments.

The frequency of those moments and the dreams eventually fade and I missed them when they were gone. I decided that grief was a gift to be embraced, not overcome.

I am glad I'm not the only one having the wicked vivid dreams. Many that I am close with on here know that my Dad passed away in February this year, and it fucked me up good. Still does. I still have these incredible dreams about him where I can hear his voice, and see every facial tick and expression. I mean these are like acid dreams. Wake up in a panic kind of dreams. They really bothered me at first and made sleeping difficult. I just embrace them now. It's almost like a chance to talk with him again. Sorry for whatever loss you experienced. Took me three months to even be able to type it publicly on these boreds. Time, as others have said.

Fishpo31

After seeing the OP, I had vivid dreams of my parents that night, and they have been gone for damn near 20 years. The intensity and reaction is shocking at first, but has mellowed with time, and it is strangely calming to me now...I heard someone years ago say that you never get over it, so you have to get through it, one day at a time, for the rest of your days. It helps a lot, for me, to look at it this way....Sorry for your loss

LebamDawg

I guess I was lucky that my Ma and Pa died at a ripe old age. I missed getting to see my Dad at the hospital by a few minutes. Bro in law's fault that I held a grudge on for years. Lucky for me they lived in Yuma and I was in SD so drove and saw them many times during his last year. I moved back up here and he rushed up here in the middle of the summer (which he never would do) to die. So I actually took it well.

My ma died many years later and was old. She was suffering from Alzheimer's and other stuff so it was a blessing. But she went out fighting, I might still have some bruises.

My sister dying shook me up the most and a brother that just passed away 8 weeks ago was not a big deal as he was on disability for the past 41 years due to a serious accident.

So every one is different, deal with it the best you can. I found laffing to be the best. Me and my other brother chuckle it up many times reminiscing about those that are gone. Sorry about it just the same.

CFetters_Nacho_Lover

My mom died a few months after I graduated high school. The night she died, I had the most vivid dream where I walked into her hospital room and the nurse was disconnecting the IVs and various sensors. Mom was on the bed but also standing next to me and told me it was ok that it was time for her to go. I woke up in the morning with a sense of relief and calm. It's still probably the most vivid dream I've ever had and swear it was mom's spirit telling me to not worry.

jecornel

CFetters_Nacho_Lover said:

My mom died a few months after I graduated high school. The night she died, I had the most vivid dream where I walked into her hospital room and the nurse was disconnecting the IVs and various sensors. Mom was on the bed but also standing next to me and told me it was ok that it was time for her to go. I woke up in the morning with a sense of relief and calm. It's still probably the most vivid dream I've ever had and swear it was mom's spirit telling me to not worry.

I'm lucky to say I still have my parents I my life plus my other Dad. I hope I can say this when it's their time to go.

chuck

LebamDawg said:

I guess I was lucky that my Ma and Pa died at a ripe old age. I missed getting to see my Dad at the hospital by a few minutes. Bro in law's fault that I held a grudge on for years. Lucky for me they lived in Yuma and I was in SD so drove and saw them many times during his last year. I moved back up here and he rushed up here in the middle of the summer (which he never would do) to die. So I actually took it well.

My ma died many years later and was old. She was suffering from Alzheimer's and other stuff so it was a blessing. But she went out fighting, I might still have some bruises.

My sister dying shook me up the most and a brother that just passed away 8 weeks ago was not a big deal as he was on disability for the past 41 years due to a serious accident.

So every one is different, deal with it the best you can. I found laffing to be the best. Me and my other brother chuckle it up many times reminiscing about those that are gone. Sorry about it just the same.

My Dad deteriorated rapidly from congestive heart failure at age 57 but we were all still holding onto hope. They thought he was stable enough at 15% heart function to have at least a chance to wait out the transplant list.

He had to spend a night in the hospital after a few rough days. They adjusted meds and sent him home. My sister even unloaded her 3 year old son on him the next day.

CFetters_Nacho_Lover said:

My mom died a few months after I graduated high school. The night she died, I had the most vivid dream where I walked into her hospital room and the nurse was disconnecting the IVs and various sensors. Mom was on the bed but also standing next to me and told me it was ok that it was time for her to go. I woke up in the morning with a sense of relief and calm. It's still probably the most vivid dream I've ever had and swear it was mom's spirit telling me to not worry.

I'm a skeptic pinko commie heathen who doesnt believe in much of anything on the spiritual side, yet I had similar feelings about the dreams I had with Dad. I guess if I'm going to believe something, it's that his spirit does reside somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind. I wish I could call on it at will, but I at least feel fortunate that it comes to me in my dreams sometimes.

Fishpo31

CFetters_Nacho_Lover said:

My mom died a few months after I graduated high school. The night she died, I had the most vivid dream where I walked into her hospital room and the nurse was disconnecting the IVs and various sensors. Mom was on the bed but also standing next to me and told me it was ok that it was time for her to go. I woke up in the morning with a sense of relief and calm. It's still probably the most vivid dream I've ever had and swear it was mom's spirit telling me to not worry.

My Dad was pretty healthy and living on his own in his early 80’s, he fell and was down for two days until his neighbor called me (I was out of town for work), and I told him to break in...hospital, followed by a “rehabilitation” center (nursing home)...first time I went to see him, I sat in the parking lot and cried like a baby. Couple months go by, he goes back to hospital...I see him in the morning, come back after dinner, walked in, and he was dead. I was alone with him for about five minutes, and the Doc walked in and almost shit his pants. He had been trying to call me to let me know. He was a mess, and I was completely calm. I know now it was because Pops knew (as did I) that he was never coming home...

Pitchfork51

Ah shit sorry bro. I had a few of those last year. I have a feeling I'll have another in the next year.

Not fun stuff.

PurpleThrobber

Because this is HH, I wouldn't be doing my job unless I also disclosed this therapeutic coping mechanism:

Masturbate furiously.