Jury Duty

PurpleJ

Got jury duty starting 12/31. Request to be excused was denied. I guess my only option now is to shave my beard into a Hitler stache and duck walk into the courtroom so I fail jury selection. FML.

Domicillo

PurpleJ said:

Got jury duty starting 12/31. Request to be excused was denied. I guess my only option now is to shave my beard into a Hitler stache and duck walk into the courtroom so I fail jury selection. FML.

Just use the phrase “from what I read on message boards” to preference your answer to every question.

YellowSnow

PurpleJ said:

Got jury duty starting 12/31. Request to be excused was denied. I guess my only option now is to shave my beard into a Hitler stache and duck walk into the courtroom so I fail jury selection. FML.

I got mine delayed by 6 months. You need to work on your salesmanship bro.

PurpleJ

YellowSnow said:

PurpleJ said:

Got jury duty starting 12/31. Request to be excused was denied. I guess my only option now is to shave my beard into a Hitler stache and duck walk into the courtroom so I fail jury selection. FML.

I got mine delayed by 6 months. You need to work on your salesmanship bro.

I'm gonna call on Monday and make some shit up. Tell them I committed to bake sale for the Reich or something.

FireCohen

Only 6 inches are consensual

Houhusky

PurpleJ said:

Got jury duty starting 12/31. Request to be excused was denied. I guess my only option now is to shave my beard into a Hitler stache and duck walk into the courtroom so I fail jury selection. FML.

Just say two words:

Jury. Nullification.

You will be gone in 5 mins EZ

Fenderbender123

Just say you're in school when you get the initial notification in the mail. Always worked for me and they never bother to verify that I actually am.

RaceBannon

I just ignore it and it goes away

LebamDawg

I love pulling jury duty - hang 'em if you can bunch of bastards - stating that will also get you out of there quickly

sarktastic

wait. You've been selected for jury duty or your Jury is being selected on Monday?

TommySQC

PurpleJ said:

Got jury duty starting 12/31. Request to be excused was denied. I guess my only option now is to shave my beard into a Hitler stache and duck walk into the courtroom so I fail jury selection. FML.

I've been selected 3 times. Never call. Never show.

This country doesn't follow its laws anymore

GrundleStiltzkin

TommySQC said:

PurpleJ said:

Got jury duty starting 12/31. Request to be excused was denied. I guess my only option now is to shave my beard into a Hitler stache and duck walk into the courtroom so I fail jury selection. FML.

I've been selected 3 times. Never call. Never show.

This country doesn't follow its laws anymore

Thanks Obama

MisterEm

Wear this.



Or this...

picalogestabo

"Uh, we were talking about the time you beat jury duty.” – Bart Simpson
“Oh yeah, the trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.” – Homer Simpson.

Doogles

You lying fuck J!

Kaepsknee

The only time that I ever made it to the part where both sides interview you was when there were hot chicks there. I answered satisfactory for the defense but by the time the prosecution got to me, the hot chicks were gone and I answered crazy and was dismissed. Spank bank was brim full though, so I had that goin for me, which is nice.

ApostleofGrief

Supposedly they can try and convict you for dodging jury duty, but it never happens in Seattle. If you live in some rural county it might happen.

DerekJohnson

ApostleofGrief said:

Supposedly they can try and convict you for dodging jury duty, but it never happens in Seattle. If you live in some rural county it might happen.

In Seattle they'd probably honor you with a plaque

Joey

Its not certified mail. You didn't sign anything, therefore "you didn't receive it." Been avoiding jury duty since I became eligible. Your welcome.

Joey

ApostleofGrief said:

Supposedly they can try and convict you for dodging jury duty, but it never happens in Seattle. If you live in some rural county it might happen.

Only if you sign it and return saying you will attend. Then you are issued a bench warrant. Just dont get pulled over.

PineapplePirate

I hate having to show up for Jury Duty on a Holiday, especially when my Dwags play.