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Your first OFFICIAL power rankings for the 2013-2014 NBA season
TheKobeStopper
Member Posts: 5,959
Contenders Division
1. Miami Heat- They're the champs. In the words of the immortal Ric Flair (whooooooooooo) "to be the man, you gotta beat the man". But don't get it twisted. This ranking is not purely ceremonial. They're better than last year. Lebron is at the peak of his powers. They have another year together in the same system. We've all seen what continuity has done in San Antonio. Another year together, with basically all the same parts, is huge.
The questions for the Heatles come later, as the season drags on. Ray Allen is older than Race Bannon. Shane Battier, by my count, has take 15,000,000 charges in his basketball career. He won't be able to get out of bed when he's 40. Even Chris Anderson is somehow in his mid 30s and he's lived hard. Dwywywywywyane Wade is one misstep away from entering B-Roy territory. But we don't root for injuries and we never boo the kids.
2. San Antonio Spurs (yawn)
3. YOUR INNNNNNDIAAAAAAAANAAAAAAA PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACEEEEEEEERRRSSS- BUILT NOT BOUGHT. BLUE COLLAR, GOLD SWAG. One day, hopefully very soon, Lebron Orenthal James will no longer be the best player in the world. And on that day, that sweet sweet day, the new best player in the world will be Paul George. Cook it.
4. Oklahoma City Thunder- Perhaps the hardest team to watch in the Association (I like to call it that). Not because of their style of play or even the horrific coaching. But because of what could have been. Russ Westbrook, James Harden, Kevin Durant, Serge Ibaka Blocka Flame. Good god. That was taken from us. Oklahoma City and their billionaire owner didn't want to pay the tax. Let's ignore the fact that since the tax was implemented no team has ever won a championship without paying the tax. Let's put that to the side. The problem is that this small market team, this little engine that could, that has to pinch every last penny, was once in a major market. A market that could support a tax paying team. Now I don't give a shit about you idiots living in Seattle. As a basketball fan I am offended. I am offended that they traded James Harden. I am offended that they won't amnesty Lamar Kendrick Perkins and his $9,000,000 albatross. They don't just refuse to pay the tax, they refuse to pay a worthless player to not play. They refuse to use that money on veterans that could actually help them win a championship. Where are the Shane Battier's and Ray Allen's that this team could have added over the last few years? They think Jeremy Lamb and Steven Adams are going to play key roles in the NBA Finals? It's a fucking travesty.
One day, hopefully very soon, Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook will be gone and that shit hole town won't be able to support a team. Hell, they can barely do it now. Hopefully Clay Bennett will be alive that day. So he can sell his team and watch them move away. Hopefully David Stern is still alive then as well so he can see the biggest mistake he made as commissioner fail. We were robbed as NBA fans. We were robbed of watching a team, that was brilliantly drafted, do special thing. It sucks.
5. Kobe Bean Bryant- Cha Ching. We're coming for you Kareem.
The Could Maybe Perhaps Possibly Contend But Still Have A Long Ways To Go And Can't Afford Many Bad Breaks And Need Some Good Breaks To Go Their Way Division
6. LA Clippers
7. Golden State Warriors
8. Houston Rockets
Nice, Fun Teams But Ultimately Pretenders Division
9. Portland Jailblazers
10. Dallas Mavericks
11. Minnesota Timberwolves
12. Memphis Grizzlies
The Tanking Or Should Be Tanking Division
13. New Orleans Pelicans
14. LA Lakers
15. Phoenix Suns
16. Denver Nuggets
17. Shaqramento Kings
18. Utah Jazz
Pac-12 Division
19 and on- The rest of the Eastern Conference. Fucking dreck.
1. Miami Heat- They're the champs. In the words of the immortal Ric Flair (whooooooooooo) "to be the man, you gotta beat the man". But don't get it twisted. This ranking is not purely ceremonial. They're better than last year. Lebron is at the peak of his powers. They have another year together in the same system. We've all seen what continuity has done in San Antonio. Another year together, with basically all the same parts, is huge.
The questions for the Heatles come later, as the season drags on. Ray Allen is older than Race Bannon. Shane Battier, by my count, has take 15,000,000 charges in his basketball career. He won't be able to get out of bed when he's 40. Even Chris Anderson is somehow in his mid 30s and he's lived hard. Dwywywywywyane Wade is one misstep away from entering B-Roy territory. But we don't root for injuries and we never boo the kids.
2. San Antonio Spurs (yawn)
3. YOUR INNNNNNDIAAAAAAAANAAAAAAA PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACEEEEEEEERRRSSS- BUILT NOT BOUGHT. BLUE COLLAR, GOLD SWAG. One day, hopefully very soon, Lebron Orenthal James will no longer be the best player in the world. And on that day, that sweet sweet day, the new best player in the world will be Paul George. Cook it.
4. Oklahoma City Thunder- Perhaps the hardest team to watch in the Association (I like to call it that). Not because of their style of play or even the horrific coaching. But because of what could have been. Russ Westbrook, James Harden, Kevin Durant, Serge Ibaka Blocka Flame. Good god. That was taken from us. Oklahoma City and their billionaire owner didn't want to pay the tax. Let's ignore the fact that since the tax was implemented no team has ever won a championship without paying the tax. Let's put that to the side. The problem is that this small market team, this little engine that could, that has to pinch every last penny, was once in a major market. A market that could support a tax paying team. Now I don't give a shit about you idiots living in Seattle. As a basketball fan I am offended. I am offended that they traded James Harden. I am offended that they won't amnesty Lamar Kendrick Perkins and his $9,000,000 albatross. They don't just refuse to pay the tax, they refuse to pay a worthless player to not play. They refuse to use that money on veterans that could actually help them win a championship. Where are the Shane Battier's and Ray Allen's that this team could have added over the last few years? They think Jeremy Lamb and Steven Adams are going to play key roles in the NBA Finals? It's a fucking travesty.
One day, hopefully very soon, Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook will be gone and that shit hole town won't be able to support a team. Hell, they can barely do it now. Hopefully Clay Bennett will be alive that day. So he can sell his team and watch them move away. Hopefully David Stern is still alive then as well so he can see the biggest mistake he made as commissioner fail. We were robbed as NBA fans. We were robbed of watching a team, that was brilliantly drafted, do special thing. It sucks.
5. Kobe Bean Bryant- Cha Ching. We're coming for you Kareem.
The Could Maybe Perhaps Possibly Contend But Still Have A Long Ways To Go And Can't Afford Many Bad Breaks And Need Some Good Breaks To Go Their Way Division
6. LA Clippers
7. Golden State Warriors
8. Houston Rockets
Nice, Fun Teams But Ultimately Pretenders Division
9. Portland Jailblazers
10. Dallas Mavericks
11. Minnesota Timberwolves
12. Memphis Grizzlies
The Tanking Or Should Be Tanking Division
13. New Orleans Pelicans
14. LA Lakers
15. Phoenix Suns
16. Denver Nuggets
17. Shaqramento Kings
18. Utah Jazz
Pac-12 Division
19 and on- The rest of the Eastern Conference. Fucking dreck.
Comments
GRAA.
I am going all in on the Mavericks.
warned.
Overall, an even better read than I expected. Except for the whole Lakers at #5 thing, but we all have our blind spots.
Sounds realistic actually.
The most interesting team to me is the Lakers. Durant becomes a free agent the year Kobe comes off the books. There was a lot of criticism of Kobe's contract but I think the Lakers made a smart deal. The free agent class this offseason is overrated. Lebron is the only player you'd really want and it seems very unlikely that he'd play with Kobe. They'll need 17 million the next offseason to sign Love (Nash comes off the books at 9 million) and Kobe's contract comes off the next year for Durant. Or if they miss on Durant, Westbrook the year after. They'll probably fuck it up but if they set it up that way they're brilliant.
The Lakers are about to enter the New York Knicks phase with James Dolan as the owner. Incompetent people at the top can fuck up any situation as we have learned the past decade with Husky football.