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Your first OFFICIAL power rankings for the 2013-2014 NBA season

TheKobeStopperTheKobeStopper Member Posts: 5,959
Contenders Division

1. Miami Heat- They're the champs. In the words of the immortal Ric Flair (whooooooooooo) "to be the man, you gotta beat the man". But don't get it twisted. This ranking is not purely ceremonial. They're better than last year. Lebron is at the peak of his powers. They have another year together in the same system. We've all seen what continuity has done in San Antonio. Another year together, with basically all the same parts, is huge.

The questions for the Heatles come later, as the season drags on. Ray Allen is older than Race Bannon. Shane Battier, by my count, has take 15,000,000 charges in his basketball career. He won't be able to get out of bed when he's 40. Even Chris Anderson is somehow in his mid 30s and he's lived hard. Dwywywywywyane Wade is one misstep away from entering B-Roy territory. But we don't root for injuries and we never boo the kids.

2. San Antonio Spurs (yawn)

3. YOUR INNNNNNDIAAAAAAAANAAAAAAA PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACEEEEEEEERRRSSS- BUILT NOT BOUGHT. BLUE COLLAR, GOLD SWAG. One day, hopefully very soon, Lebron Orenthal James will no longer be the best player in the world. And on that day, that sweet sweet day, the new best player in the world will be Paul George. Cook it.

4. Oklahoma City Thunder- Perhaps the hardest team to watch in the Association (I like to call it that). Not because of their style of play or even the horrific coaching. But because of what could have been. Russ Westbrook, James Harden, Kevin Durant, Serge Ibaka Blocka Flame. Good god. That was taken from us. Oklahoma City and their billionaire owner didn't want to pay the tax. Let's ignore the fact that since the tax was implemented no team has ever won a championship without paying the tax. Let's put that to the side. The problem is that this small market team, this little engine that could, that has to pinch every last penny, was once in a major market. A market that could support a tax paying team. Now I don't give a shit about you idiots living in Seattle. As a basketball fan I am offended. I am offended that they traded James Harden. I am offended that they won't amnesty Lamar Kendrick Perkins and his $9,000,000 albatross. They don't just refuse to pay the tax, they refuse to pay a worthless player to not play. They refuse to use that money on veterans that could actually help them win a championship. Where are the Shane Battier's and Ray Allen's that this team could have added over the last few years? They think Jeremy Lamb and Steven Adams are going to play key roles in the NBA Finals? It's a fucking travesty.

One day, hopefully very soon, Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook will be gone and that shit hole town won't be able to support a team. Hell, they can barely do it now. Hopefully Clay Bennett will be alive that day. So he can sell his team and watch them move away. Hopefully David Stern is still alive then as well so he can see the biggest mistake he made as commissioner fail. We were robbed as NBA fans. We were robbed of watching a team, that was brilliantly drafted, do special thing. It sucks.

5. Kobe Bean Bryant- Cha Ching. We're coming for you Kareem.










The Could Maybe Perhaps Possibly Contend But Still Have A Long Ways To Go And Can't Afford Many Bad Breaks And Need Some Good Breaks To Go Their Way Division

6. LA Clippers

7. Golden State Warriors

8. Houston Rockets








Nice, Fun Teams But Ultimately Pretenders Division

9. Portland Jailblazers

10. Dallas Mavericks

11. Minnesota Timberwolves

12. Memphis Grizzlies








The Tanking Or Should Be Tanking Division

13. New Orleans Pelicans

14. LA Lakers

15. Phoenix Suns

16. Denver Nuggets

17. Shaqramento Kings

18. Utah Jazz






















































Pac-12 Division

19 and on- The rest of the Eastern Conference. Fucking dreck.

Comments

  • SwayeSwaye Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 41,515 Founders Club
    I have been waiting on this for awhile.

    GRAA.

    I am going all in on the Mavericks.
  • RaceBannonRaceBannon Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 106,854 Founders Club
  • DerekJohnsonDerekJohnson Administrator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 64,115 Founders Club

    Contenders Division

    1. Miami Heat- They're the champs. In the words of the immortal Ric Flai (whooooooooooo) "to be the man, you gotta beat the man". But don't get it twisted. This ranking is not purely ceremonial. They're better than last year. Lebron is at the peak of his powers. They have another year together in the same system. We've all seen what continuity has done in San Antonio. Another year together, with basically all the same parts, is huge.

    The questions for the Heatles come later, as the season drags on. Ray Allen is older than Race Bannon. Shane Battier, by my count, has take 15,000,000 charges in his basketball career. He won't be able to get out of bed when he's 40. Even Chris Anderson is somehow in his mid 30s and he's lived hard. Dwywywywywyane Wade is one misstep away from entering B-Roy territory. But we don't root for injuries and we never boo the kids.

    2. San Antonio Spurs (yawn)

    3. YOUR INNNNNNDIAAAAAAAANAAAAAAA PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACEEEEEEEERRRSSS- BUILT NOT BOUGHT. BLUE COLLAR, GOLD SWAG. One day, hopefully very soon, Lebron Orenthal James will no longer be the best player in the world. And on that day, that sweet sweet day, the new best player in the world will be Paul George. Cook it.

    4. Oklahoma City Thunder- Perhaps the hardest team to watch in the Association (I like to call it that). Not because of their style of play or even the horrific coaching. But because of what could have been. Russ Westbrook, James Harden, Kevin Durant, Serge Ibaka Blocka Flame. Good god. That was taken from us. Oklahoma City and their billionaire owner didn't want to pay the tax. Let's ignore the fact that since the tax was implemented no team has ever won a championship without paying the tax. Let's put that to the side. The problem is that this small market team, this little engine that could, that has to pinch every last penny, was once in a major market. A market that could support a tax paying team. Now I don't give a shit about you idiots living in Seattle. As a basketball fan I am offended. I am offended that they traded James Harden. I am offended that they won't amnesty Lamar Kendrick Perkins and his $9,000,000 albatross. They don't just refuse to pay the tax, they refuse to pay a worthless player to not play. They refuse to use that money on veterans that could actually help them win a championship. Where are the Shane Battier's and Ray Allen's that this team could have added over the last few years? They think Jeremy Lamb and Steven Adams are going to play key roles in the NBA Finals? It's a fucking travesty.

    One day, hopefully very soon, Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook will be gone and that shit hole town won't be able to support a team. Hell, they can barely do it now. Hopefully Clay Bennett will be alive that day. So he can sell his team and watch them move away. Hopefully David Stern is still alive then as well so he can see the biggest mistake he made as commissioner fail. We were robbed as NBA fans. We were robbed of watching a team, that was brilliantly drafted, do special thing. It sucks.

    5. Kobe Bean Bryant- Cha Ching. We're coming for you Kareem.










    The Could Maybe Perhaps Possibly Contend But Still Have A Long Ways To Go And Can't Afford Many Bad Breaks And Need Some Good Breaks To Go Their Way Division

    6. LA Clippers

    7. Golden State Warriors

    8. Houston Rockets








    Nice, Fun Teams But Ultimately Pretenders Division

    9. Portland Jailblazers

    10. Dallas Mavericks

    11. Minnesota Timberwolves

    12. Memphis Grizzlies








    The Tanking Or Should Be Tanking Division

    13. New Orleans Pelicans

    14. LA Lakers

    15. Phoenix Suns

    16. Denver Nuggets

    17. Shaqramento Kings

    18. Utah Jazz






















































    Pac-12 Division

    19 and on- The rest of the Eastern Conference. Fucking dreck.



    warned.
  • dncdnc Member Posts: 56,789

    Contenders Division

    1. Miami Heat- They're the champs. In the words of the immortal Ric Flair (whooooooooooo) "to be the man, you gotta beat the man". But don't get it twisted. This ranking is not purely ceremonial. They're better than last year. Lebron is at the peak of his powers. They have another year together in the same system. We've all seen what continuity has done in San Antonio. Another year together, with basically all the same parts, is huge.

    The questions for the Heatles come later, as the season drags on. Ray Allen is older than Race Bannon. Shane Battier, by my count, has take 15,000,000 charges in his basketball career. He won't be able to get out of bed when he's 40. Even Chris Anderson is somehow in his mid 30s and he's lived hard. Dwywywywywyane Wade is one misstep away from entering B-Roy territory. But we don't root for injuries and we never boo the kids.

    2. San Antonio Spurs (yawn)

    3. YOUR INNNNNNDIAAAAAAAANAAAAAAA PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACEEEEEEEERRRSSS- BUILT NOT BOUGHT. BLUE COLLAR, GOLD SWAG. One day, hopefully very soon, Lebron Orenthal James will no longer be the best player in the world. And on that day, that sweet sweet day, the new best player in the world will be Paul George. Cook it.

    4. Oklahoma City Thunder- Perhaps the hardest team to watch in the Association (I like to call it that). Not because of their style of play or even the horrific coaching. But because of what could have been. Russ Westbrook, James Harden, Kevin Durant, Serge Ibaka Blocka Flame. Good god. That was taken from us. Oklahoma City and their billionaire owner didn't want to pay the tax. Let's ignore the fact that since the tax was implemented no team has ever won a championship without paying the tax. Let's put that to the side. The problem is that this small market team, this little engine that could, that has to pinch every last penny, was once in a major market. A market that could support a tax paying team. Now I don't give a shit about you idiots living in Seattle. As a basketball fan I am offended. I am offended that they traded James Harden. I am offended that they won't amnesty Lamar Kendrick Perkins and his $9,000,000 albatross. They don't just refuse to pay the tax, they refuse to pay a worthless player to not play. They refuse to use that money on veterans that could actually help them win a championship. Where are the Shane Battier's and Ray Allen's that this team could have added over the last few years? They think Jeremy Lamb and Steven Adams are going to play key roles in the NBA Finals? It's a fucking travesty.

    One day, hopefully very soon, Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook will be gone and that shit hole town won't be able to support a team. Hell, they can barely do it now. Hopefully Clay Bennett will be alive that day. So he can sell his team and watch them move away. Hopefully David Stern is still alive then as well so he can see the biggest mistake he made as commissioner fail. We were robbed as NBA fans. We were robbed of watching a team, that was brilliantly drafted, do special thing. It sucks.

    5. Kobe Bean Bryant- Cha Ching. We're coming for you Kareem.










    The Could Maybe Perhaps Possibly Contend But Still Have A Long Ways To Go And Can't Afford Many Bad Breaks And Need Some Good Breaks To Go Their Way Division

    6. LA Clippers

    7. Golden State Warriors

    8. Houston Rockets








    Nice, Fun Teams But Ultimately Pretenders Division

    9. Portland Jailblazers

    10. Dallas Mavericks

    11. Minnesota Timberwolves

    12. Memphis Grizzlies








    The Tanking Or Should Be Tanking Division

    13. New Orleans Pelicans

    14. LA Lakers

    15. Phoenix Suns

    16. Denver Nuggets

    17. Shaqramento Kings

    18. Utah Jazz






















































    Pac-12 Division

    19 and on- The rest of the Eastern Conference. Fucking dreck.

    BRB, JO

    Overall, an even better read than I expected. Except for the whole Lakers at #5 thing, but we all have our blind spots.

  • Fire_Marshall_BillFire_Marshall_Bill Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 24,183 Founders Club
    You make the NBA almost sound entertaining, and it never is until April (and even then it's sporadic....and the Pace Cars never are). For that, good effort, good job.
  • CuntWaffleCuntWaffle Member Posts: 22,499
    My Pistons will be making a mid season surge just you wait.
  • dhdawgdhdawg Member Posts: 13,326
    the warriors were my original pick to win it all. But they need to get rid of bogut and pick up an actual center at the deadline, if he isn't going to score he needs to get more than 9 RPG
  • TheKobeStopperTheKobeStopper Member Posts: 5,959
    dnc said:

    Contenders Division

    1. Miami Heat- They're the champs. In the words of the immortal Ric Flair (whooooooooooo) "to be the man, you gotta beat the man". But don't get it twisted. This ranking is not purely ceremonial. They're better than last year. Lebron is at the peak of his powers. They have another year together in the same system. We've all seen what continuity has done in San Antonio. Another year together, with basically all the same parts, is huge.

    The questions for the Heatles come later, as the season drags on. Ray Allen is older than Race Bannon. Shane Battier, by my count, has take 15,000,000 charges in his basketball career. He won't be able to get out of bed when he's 40. Even Chris Anderson is somehow in his mid 30s and he's lived hard. Dwywywywywyane Wade is one misstep away from entering B-Roy territory. But we don't root for injuries and we never boo the kids.

    2. San Antonio Spurs (yawn)

    3. YOUR INNNNNNDIAAAAAAAANAAAAAAA PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACEEEEEEEERRRSSS- BUILT NOT BOUGHT. BLUE COLLAR, GOLD SWAG. One day, hopefully very soon, Lebron Orenthal James will no longer be the best player in the world. And on that day, that sweet sweet day, the new best player in the world will be Paul George. Cook it.

    4. Oklahoma City Thunder- Perhaps the hardest team to watch in the Association (I like to call it that). Not because of their style of play or even the horrific coaching. But because of what could have been. Russ Westbrook, James Harden, Kevin Durant, Serge Ibaka Blocka Flame. Good god. That was taken from us. Oklahoma City and their billionaire owner didn't want to pay the tax. Let's ignore the fact that since the tax was implemented no team has ever won a championship without paying the tax. Let's put that to the side. The problem is that this small market team, this little engine that could, that has to pinch every last penny, was once in a major market. A market that could support a tax paying team. Now I don't give a shit about you idiots living in Seattle. As a basketball fan I am offended. I am offended that they traded James Harden. I am offended that they won't amnesty Lamar Kendrick Perkins and his $9,000,000 albatross. They don't just refuse to pay the tax, they refuse to pay a worthless player to not play. They refuse to use that money on veterans that could actually help them win a championship. Where are the Shane Battier's and Ray Allen's that this team could have added over the last few years? They think Jeremy Lamb and Steven Adams are going to play key roles in the NBA Finals? It's a fucking travesty.

    One day, hopefully very soon, Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook will be gone and that shit hole town won't be able to support a team. Hell, they can barely do it now. Hopefully Clay Bennett will be alive that day. So he can sell his team and watch them move away. Hopefully David Stern is still alive then as well so he can see the biggest mistake he made as commissioner fail. We were robbed as NBA fans. We were robbed of watching a team, that was brilliantly drafted, do special thing. It sucks.

    5. Kobe Bean Bryant- Cha Ching. We're coming for you Kareem.










    The Could Maybe Perhaps Possibly Contend But Still Have A Long Ways To Go And Can't Afford Many Bad Breaks And Need Some Good Breaks To Go Their Way Division

    6. LA Clippers

    7. Golden State Warriors

    8. Houston Rockets








    Nice, Fun Teams But Ultimately Pretenders Division

    9. Portland Jailblazers

    10. Dallas Mavericks

    11. Minnesota Timberwolves

    12. Memphis Grizzlies








    The Tanking Or Should Be Tanking Division

    13. New Orleans Pelicans

    14. LA Lakers

    15. Phoenix Suns

    16. Denver Nuggets

    17. Shaqramento Kings

    18. Utah Jazz






















































    Pac-12 Division

    19 and on- The rest of the Eastern Conference. Fucking dreck.

    BRB, JO

    Overall, an even better read than I expected. Except for the whole Lakers at #5 thing, but we all have our blind spots.

    The Lakers are 14th.
  • TheKobeStopperTheKobeStopper Member Posts: 5,959
    dhdawg said:

    the warriors were my original pick to win it all. But they need to get rid of bogut and pick up an actual center at the deadline, if he isn't going to score he needs to get more than 9 RPG

    They actually recently extended him for 3 years 36 million. I don't know if there's a rule against trading players that you've recently extended, like there is for signed free agents. But that number, with Boguts injury history, makes him basically untradable. You wouldn't be able to get anything good in return at least.
  • RoadDawg55RoadDawg55 Member Posts: 30,123
    Great post. The stuff about Oklahoma City was perhaps your finest work on these boardz.
  • dncdnc Member Posts: 56,789

    dnc said:

    Contenders Division

    1. Miami Heat- They're the champs. In the words of the immortal Ric Flair (whooooooooooo) "to be the man, you gotta beat the man". But don't get it twisted. This ranking is not purely ceremonial. They're better than last year. Lebron is at the peak of his powers. They have another year together in the same system. We've all seen what continuity has done in San Antonio. Another year together, with basically all the same parts, is huge.

    The questions for the Heatles come later, as the season drags on. Ray Allen is older than Race Bannon. Shane Battier, by my count, has take 15,000,000 charges in his basketball career. He won't be able to get out of bed when he's 40. Even Chris Anderson is somehow in his mid 30s and he's lived hard. Dwywywywywyane Wade is one misstep away from entering B-Roy territory. But we don't root for injuries and we never boo the kids.

    2. San Antonio Spurs (yawn)

    3. YOUR INNNNNNDIAAAAAAAANAAAAAAA PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACEEEEEEEERRRSSS- BUILT NOT BOUGHT. BLUE COLLAR, GOLD SWAG. One day, hopefully very soon, Lebron Orenthal James will no longer be the best player in the world. And on that day, that sweet sweet day, the new best player in the world will be Paul George. Cook it.

    4. Oklahoma City Thunder- Perhaps the hardest team to watch in the Association (I like to call it that). Not because of their style of play or even the horrific coaching. But because of what could have been. Russ Westbrook, James Harden, Kevin Durant, Serge Ibaka Blocka Flame. Good god. That was taken from us. Oklahoma City and their billionaire owner didn't want to pay the tax. Let's ignore the fact that since the tax was implemented no team has ever won a championship without paying the tax. Let's put that to the side. The problem is that this small market team, this little engine that could, that has to pinch every last penny, was once in a major market. A market that could support a tax paying team. Now I don't give a shit about you idiots living in Seattle. As a basketball fan I am offended. I am offended that they traded James Harden. I am offended that they won't amnesty Lamar Kendrick Perkins and his $9,000,000 albatross. They don't just refuse to pay the tax, they refuse to pay a worthless player to not play. They refuse to use that money on veterans that could actually help them win a championship. Where are the Shane Battier's and Ray Allen's that this team could have added over the last few years? They think Jeremy Lamb and Steven Adams are going to play key roles in the NBA Finals? It's a fucking travesty.

    One day, hopefully very soon, Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook will be gone and that shit hole town won't be able to support a team. Hell, they can barely do it now. Hopefully Clay Bennett will be alive that day. So he can sell his team and watch them move away. Hopefully David Stern is still alive then as well so he can see the biggest mistake he made as commissioner fail. We were robbed as NBA fans. We were robbed of watching a team, that was brilliantly drafted, do special thing. It sucks.

    5. Kobe Bean Bryant- Cha Ching. We're coming for you Kareem.










    The Could Maybe Perhaps Possibly Contend But Still Have A Long Ways To Go And Can't Afford Many Bad Breaks And Need Some Good Breaks To Go Their Way Division

    6. LA Clippers

    7. Golden State Warriors

    8. Houston Rockets








    Nice, Fun Teams But Ultimately Pretenders Division

    9. Portland Jailblazers

    10. Dallas Mavericks

    11. Minnesota Timberwolves

    12. Memphis Grizzlies








    The Tanking Or Should Be Tanking Division

    13. New Orleans Pelicans

    14. LA Lakers

    15. Phoenix Suns

    16. Denver Nuggets

    17. Shaqramento Kings

    18. Utah Jazz






















































    Pac-12 Division

    19 and on- The rest of the Eastern Conference. Fucking dreck.

    BRB, JO

    Overall, an even better read than I expected. Except for the whole Lakers at #5 thing, but we all have our blind spots.

    The Lakers are 14th.
    Why do I hate reading?

  • SwayeSwaye Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 41,515 Founders Club
    I wish I knew something about the NBA so I could contribute to this thread.
  • What do you guys think about Jalen Rose theory that Durant will wind up in Houston to team up with Harden and Westbrook will be a package with Love and head to the Lakers?

    Sounds realistic actually.
  • TierbsHsotBoobsTierbsHsotBoobs Member Posts: 39,680
    Major *swoon* at the bottom 12.
  • TheKobeStopperTheKobeStopper Member Posts: 5,959

    What do you guys think about Jalen Rose theory that Durant will wind up in Houston to team up with Harden and Westbrook will be a package with Love and head to the Lakers?

    Sounds realistic actually.

    It's unlikely. Harden and Howard will still have a year left on their contracts for a total of 40 million. Howard does have a player option for that year at 23 million. It's hard to know this far out what he'd do with that but if I was betting I'd say he accepts it. The cap is 58 million this year. Even if it gets to the mid 60's by that season (I believe it projects to low 60s next year) there probably won't be enough room. They're going to have to pay Chandler Parsons after next season as well.

    The most interesting team to me is the Lakers. Durant becomes a free agent the year Kobe comes off the books. There was a lot of criticism of Kobe's contract but I think the Lakers made a smart deal. The free agent class this offseason is overrated. Lebron is the only player you'd really want and it seems very unlikely that he'd play with Kobe. They'll need 17 million the next offseason to sign Love (Nash comes off the books at 9 million) and Kobe's contract comes off the next year for Durant. Or if they miss on Durant, Westbrook the year after. They'll probably fuck it up but if they set it up that way they're brilliant.
  • What do you guys think about Jalen Rose theory that Durant will wind up in Houston to team up with Harden and Westbrook will be a package with Love and head to the Lakers?

    Sounds realistic actually.

    It's unlikely. Harden and Howard will still have a year left on their contracts for a total of 40 million. Howard does have a player option for that year at 23 million. It's hard to know this far out what he'd do with that but if I was betting I'd say he accepts it. The cap is 58 million this year. Even if it gets to the mid 60's by that season (I believe it projects to low 60s next year) there probably won't be enough room. They're going to have to pay Chandler Parsons after next season as well.

    The most interesting team to me is the Lakers. Durant becomes a free agent the year Kobe comes off the books. There was a lot of criticism of Kobe's contract but I think the Lakers made a smart deal. The free agent class this offseason is overrated. Lebron is the only player you'd really want and it seems very unlikely that he'd play with Kobe. They'll need 17 million the next offseason to sign Love (Nash comes off the books at 9 million) and Kobe's contract comes off the next year for Durant. Or if they miss on Durant, Westbrook the year after. They'll probably fuck it up but if they set it up that way they're brilliant.
    The Lakers under Jerry Buss would pull that off but the Lakers under Fredo Buss will fuck it up.

    The Lakers are about to enter the New York Knicks phase with James Dolan as the owner. Incompetent people at the top can fuck up any situation as we have learned the past decade with Husky football.
  • greenbloodgreenblood Member Posts: 14,485
    I'm not letting any of you fuckers on my Trail Blazer wagon
  • CuntWaffleCuntWaffle Member Posts: 22,499
    My Pistons beat Race's Heat.
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