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Why I think coach Shaw is the greatest coach in the country

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  • AZDuck
    AZDuck Member Posts: 15,468
    edited November 2013
    image

    Cool story bro: when I was in Iraq I met with a bunch of Iraqi cops and civic officials. They loved business cards, but couldn't read English very well, if at all. So I handed a shitload of these cards out during a week of missions. Given that Iraqis love buggery, I found out later that when one of my terps translated the card for a sheikh, it made the sheikh respect America more because we do what we want when we want or some shit like that. /csbro
  • LevelPar
    LevelPar Member Posts: 447
    Shaw sucks and your poast licks shaw's balls.
  • Gladstone
    Gladstone Member Posts: 16,425
    Ectooelly joost oone-a reesun, boot oone-a thet hulds a tun ooff celureees. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Dooreeng zee 3rd qooerter ooff zee Ooregun geme-a, cuech Shev gezeered zee ooffffense-a oon zee seedelines und seeed. Bork bork bork!.".ve're-a nut throoeeng zee bell egeeen. Bork bork bork!..". Ve-a ell sev hoo zee teem, speceefficelly zee Oo-leene-a respunded. Bork bork bork!

    Cunfersely dooreeng zee Culuredu geme-a, Serk gezeered HIS teem und seeed "gooys, ve're-a gueeng tu throo ifery doon!" Vheech he-a treeed. Bork bork bork!..zeen seeed " ooh, und Beeshup , heet zee bench veet Cyler, Keeet veell feenish zee geme-a oooot ".

    Hooefer Meeles deed pley a qooerter veethuoot ENY precteece-a pesses oooot ooff cuoortesy tu Culuredu. Und next yeer Serk is gueeng tu veesh Meeles throo a foockeeng furverd pess thees yeer. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp!

    Ife-a beee reeeling oon SERK fur elmust 2 yeers fur NOT getteeng Meeles sume-a reps. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Culuredu ves zee perffect ooppurtooneety. Bork bork bork! Insteed Serk chuse-a tu get KP sume-a mooch needed reps veet zee 1st teem up 52-7. Hes a foockeeng ideeut. Um de hur de hur de hur. Serk und hees teem veell pey cume-a UV'z 1st creeticel 3rd und lung next yeer. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Cyler veell be-a in zee goon ooff cuoorse-a, und veell be-a seyeeng tu heemselff "I hefent throon a pess in 2 yeers. Um gesh dee bork, bork!..vhet du I du".?
  • oregonblitzkrieg
    oregonblitzkrieg Member Posts: 15,288
    Gladstone said:

    Ectooelly joost oone-a reesun, boot oone-a thet hulds a tun ooff celureees. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Dooreeng zee 3rd qooerter ooff zee Ooregun geme-a, cuech Shev gezeered zee ooffffense-a oon zee seedelines und seeed. Bork bork bork!.".ve're-a nut throoeeng zee bell egeeen. Bork bork bork!..". Ve-a ell sev hoo zee teem, speceefficelly zee Oo-leene-a respunded. Bork bork bork!

    Cunfersely dooreeng zee Culuredu geme-a, Serk gezeered HIS teem und seeed "gooys, ve're-a gueeng tu throo ifery doon!" Vheech he-a treeed. Bork bork bork!..zeen seeed " ooh, und Beeshup , heet zee bench veet Cyler, Keeet veell feenish zee geme-a oooot ".

    Hooefer Meeles deed pley a qooerter veethuoot ENY precteece-a pesses oooot ooff cuoortesy tu Culuredu. Und next yeer Serk is gueeng tu veesh Meeles throo a foockeeng furverd pess thees yeer. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp!

    Ife-a beee reeeling oon SERK fur elmust 2 yeers fur NOT getteeng Meeles sume-a reps. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Culuredu ves zee perffect ooppurtooneety. Bork bork bork! Insteed Serk chuse-a tu get KP sume-a mooch needed reps veet zee 1st teem up 52-7. Hes a foockeeng ideeut. Um de hur de hur de hur. Serk und hees teem veell pey cume-a UV'z 1st creeticel 3rd und lung next yeer. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Cyler veell be-a in zee goon ooff cuoorse-a, und veell be-a seyeeng tu heemselff "I hefent throon a pess in 2 yeers. Um gesh dee bork, bork!..vhet du I du".?

    That shit's too hard to read. If it looks like a mix of German, Romanian and Dutch, you've gone too far.
  • Gladstone
    Gladstone Member Posts: 16,425

    Gladstone said:

    Ectooelly joost oone-a reesun, boot oone-a thet hulds a tun ooff celureees. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Dooreeng zee 3rd qooerter ooff zee Ooregun geme-a, cuech Shev gezeered zee ooffffense-a oon zee seedelines und seeed. Bork bork bork!.".ve're-a nut throoeeng zee bell egeeen. Bork bork bork!..". Ve-a ell sev hoo zee teem, speceefficelly zee Oo-leene-a respunded. Bork bork bork!

    Cunfersely dooreeng zee Culuredu geme-a, Serk gezeered HIS teem und seeed "gooys, ve're-a gueeng tu throo ifery doon!" Vheech he-a treeed. Bork bork bork!..zeen seeed " ooh, und Beeshup , heet zee bench veet Cyler, Keeet veell feenish zee geme-a oooot ".

    Hooefer Meeles deed pley a qooerter veethuoot ENY precteece-a pesses oooot ooff cuoortesy tu Culuredu. Und next yeer Serk is gueeng tu veesh Meeles throo a foockeeng furverd pess thees yeer. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp!

    Ife-a beee reeeling oon SERK fur elmust 2 yeers fur NOT getteeng Meeles sume-a reps. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Culuredu ves zee perffect ooppurtooneety. Bork bork bork! Insteed Serk chuse-a tu get KP sume-a mooch needed reps veet zee 1st teem up 52-7. Hes a foockeeng ideeut. Um de hur de hur de hur. Serk und hees teem veell pey cume-a UV'z 1st creeticel 3rd und lung next yeer. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Cyler veell be-a in zee goon ooff cuoorse-a, und veell be-a seyeeng tu heemselff "I hefent throon a pess in 2 yeers. Um gesh dee bork, bork!..vhet du I du".?

    Thet sheet's tuu herd tu reed. Bork bork bork! Iff it luuks leeke-a a meex ooff Germun, Rumuneeun und Dootch, yuoo'fe-a gune-a tuu fer. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp!
  • Swaye
    Swaye Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 41,741 Founders Club
    Jesus Fucking Christ.
  • BiggusDickus
    BiggusDickus Member Posts: 553
    If you can't understand the Swedish Chefalyser then I can't help you.

    Bork! Bork! Bork!
  • CFetters_Nacho_Lover
    CFetters_Nacho_Lover Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 32,881 Founders Club

    This whole post is awful I don't even know where to begin to correct all the bullshit you are spewing.

    Start by putting it on the front page.

  • BiggusDickus
    BiggusDickus Member Posts: 553
    Yuoo vunt tu teke-a zee glufes ooffff Rece-a? Yuoo vunt tu get doon in a peessing metch? Let’s du it. Let’s rull.

    I’m getteeng cumpletely fed up veet yuoor hete-a, negeteefity, und throoeeng peuple-a under zee boos.

    Qooeete-a frunkly Rece-a, I’m fery, FERY heppy thet I dun’t knoo yuoo. I’m qooeete-a heppy thet I dun’t leed vhet eppeers tu be-a sooch a pezeeteec leeffe-a thet is feced veet luukeeng fur zee negeteefity in ifery seetooeshun. Yuoo need tu gu feend sumetheeng tu smeele-a et. Lest I checked, it’s soommerteeme-a. Zee veezeer in Seettle-a seems tu be-a pretty demn guud reeght noo – vhy dun’t yuoo gu check thet oooot.

    Yuoo ere-a pretty demn vrung ebuoot theengs. Yuoo mey theenk thet zee emuoont ooff teeme-a thet yuoo keep spooeeng yuoor feeoos thet thet yuoo’fe-a noo heerd it inuoogh teemes thet yuoo ere-a reeght. Duesn’t meke-a yuoo reeght.

    Yuoo telk ebuoot 12-47 leeke-a thet heppened oooot ooff zee blooe-a sky. I’fe-a nefer seee yuoo oonce-a sooggest thet zee prucess ooff zee doonffell ooff thees prugrem begun vell beffure-a Immert erreefed.

    Yuoo vunt fects? Yuoo vunt troot? Here-a’s yuoor troot.

    Immert ceme-a tu zee UV preeur tu zee GLORIOOoS 1-10 seesun under Geelby. Zee yeer beffure-a thet (2003) Geelby muneged tu du inuoogh tu get us tu 6-6, boot thet inclooded zee debecle-a et Cel vhere-a ve-a gefe-a up 700 yerds (oor zeereebuoots). It ves un indeefffferent teem thet pretty mooch ves et best medeeucre-a. Ve-a lust 5 ooff oooor lest 8, incloodeeng zee bloouoot tu Cel, zee bloouoot tu UCLA, und a hume-a luss tu NEFEDA. Yep, zee prugrem ves heedeeng in zee reeght durecshun.

    Zee 2002 seesun under Sleeck ves unuzeer sterleeng seesun ixemple-a thet is must remembered fur zee “Nurthvest Chempeeunship.” Thet ves greet. Boot it heed zee fect thet gueeng intu zee “Nurthvest Chempeeunship” ve-a vere-a a 4-5 fuutbell teem thet ves pretty mooch a juke-a et 1-4 in zee cunfference-a. In but 2002 und 2003, ve-a feenished zee seesun veet a 4-4 cunfference-a recurd.

    Zeese-a veree’t guud fuutbell teems. Zee trend ves heedeeng doonheell.

    Immert cumes oon buerd und immedeeetely gets sedled veet zee Geelby 1-10 debecle-a.

    Preeur tu Immert cumeeng oon buerd, Bebs joomps sheep effter a decede-a ooff mees-munegement, incloodeeng ellooeeng zee stedeeoom tu begeen zee iruseeun prucess.

    Thruooghuoot 2003, ve-a’re-a feced veet Sleeck leefeeng und zee soobseqooent levsooeet(s), Dr. Feelguud, und a vhule-a mess veet zee sufftbell prugrem und Teresa Veelsun.

    Noo keep in meend zee fullooeeng: ELL THIS HEPPENED BEFORE IMMERT VES ENYVHERE NEER BEING THE PRESIDENT OoF THE UNIFERSITY OoF VESHINGTON.

    Theengs vere-a nut in greet shepe-a. I theenk joost ebuoot iferybudy knoo thet.

    A seerch cummeettee-a is furmed tu replece-a Bebs. Zee BOR, upper cempoos, und zee beeg dunur sooppurters ooff zee schuul ere-a seeck ooff zee igg shooeeng up oon zeeur fece-a. Zeey ere-a seeck ooff zee cuoontry cloob thet Bebs run und zee luuse-a vey she-a run zee depertment – perteecoolerly in leeght ooff vhet vent oon veet Sleeck. Zeey vunted sumeune-a preem, pruper, und vhu zeey cuoold cuoont oon vuoold nut soolly zee Uneefersity neme-a. INTER TODD TOoRNER.

    Noo, thees pretty mooch gets yuoo up tu zee pueent vhere-a Immert ves hured. Deed he-a hefe-a tu seegn ooffff oon zee hureeng ooff Toorner? Must leekely. Boot vhetefer.

    Et thees pueent, Immert isn’t respunseeble-a fur zee oon-feeeld perffurmunce-a ooff zee fuutbell prugrem. Zeere-a is a cuech in plece-a. It’s nut Immert’s jub tu oofersee-a zee fuutbell prugrem oor uny oozeer prugrem in zee ethleteec depertment. Thet jub belungs tu Tudd Toorner. It’s Immert’s jub tu muneetur zee jub perffurmunce-a ooff Tudd Toorner.

    Su 1-10 heppens. Geelby is cunned by Toorner (reeghtffoolly su). Yes, zee prugrem vent 1-10. Boot zee ecshuns ooff thuse-a cherged veet ooferseeeeng zee prugrem vere-a currect. Toorner fured zee cuech fur puur perffurmunce-a. Iff I’m in Immert’s shues, I cun’t cumpleeen.

    Cuecheeng seerch tekes plece-a und Toorner hes hees heert set oon Tyrune-a Veellinghem. It’s Toorner’s hure-a. It’s nut Immert’s hure-a. Soorely Immert hed tu seegn ooffff oon zee hure-a. Thet’s feene-a. Yuoo vunt tu throo sume-a bleme-a oon heem fur nut hefeeng zee fureseeght tu negete-a zee hure-a. Thet’s feene-a. Boot zee hure-a isn’t Immert’s respunseebility. It’s Toorner’s respunseebility. It’s Immert’s respunseebility tu huld Toorner eccuoonteble-a fur zee hure-a (vheech he-a deed 3 yeers leter vhee it ves oobfeeuoos thet Tyrune-a vesn’t zee unsver).

    Su Tyrune-a gues 2-9 zee furst yeer effter a 1-10 yeer. Nut greet. Verneeng seegns stert gueeng ooffff, perteecoolerly veet sume-a puur perffurmunce-a tu cluse-a gemes. Boot it’s zee furst yeer ooff zee regeeme-a und reelly herd tu get tuu creeticel.

    Zee next yeer zee prugrem gues 5-7 und hes 2 seegnifficunt ifents. Zee furst seegnifficunt ifent is zee luss ooff zee QB tu injoory. I theenk muny cuoold ergooe-a thet veethuoot zee luss ooff Iseeeeh thet yeer, ve-a gu 6-6. Zee secund ifent thet ves seegnifficunt ves zee “sooddenly seneeur” dey und zee unexpleeceble-a luss tu Stunffurd veet zee must imushunless fuutbell teem unybudy hed ifer seee. Egeeen, zeere-a’s nut inuoogh zeere-a tu fure-a Tyrune-a et thet pueent. Zeere-a ere-a verneeng seegns. Zeere-a is gruoond tu pretty mooch tell Tyrune-a thet zee fullooeeng yeer is un ecshun yeer vhere-a sumetheeng needs tu heppee. He-a’s oon a shurt leesh et thees pueent in my oopeeniun.

    Zee fullooeeng yeer ve-a luse-a gemes in veys thet ere-a unexpleeeneble-a. Bloo a hooge-a luss tu Ereezuna – a geme-a ve-a shuoold hefe-a nefer lust. Zee must reedicooluoos indeeng tu un Epple-a Coop I’fe-a ifer seee vhere-a a gooy ves oopee by 20 yerds cumeeng oooot ooff a teemeuoot. Blooeeng a peur ooff 21 pueent leeds tu Heveee’i. It ves pretty oobfeeuoos et thees pueent thet theengs veree’t vurkeeng. Cuecheeng chunge-a ves in oorder. Perheps un ED chunge-a ves elsu in oorder. Zee cuecheeng chunge-a ves blucked und cumpleeceted. Zee ED’s heed fell – und reeghtffoolly su dooe-a tu sume-a oozeer issooes thet he-a hed und sooch a terreeble-a hure-a ooff a heed cuech.

    Preeur tu zee deceesiun tu fure-a Tyrune-a effter 2007, it’s reelly herd tu ergooe-a veet ENYTHING thet Immert hed dune-a veet respect tu zee fuutbell prugrem.

    I veell sey thet breenging Tyrune-a beck fur 2008 ves a deesesteruoos meesteke-a. It shuoold hefe-a nefer heppened. Yuoo vunt tu throo 0-12 oon Immert – I’m ell fur it. I theenk iff yuoo cooght Immert in a refflecteefe-a, troothffool mument, he-a vuoold tell yuoo in heendsight thet he-a shuoold hefe-a mede-a zee mufe-a und thet it vesn’t vurt zee cernege-a ooff 0-12.

    Throo Immert under zee boos fur 2008. Thet’s hees respunseebility. 2004-2007? Nut su mooch. By ell meuns, pleese-a, pleese-a tell me-a vhere-a he-a hes respunseebility fur 2004 und 2007 oozeer thun zee fect thet he-a’s zee Uneefersity Preseedent. Pleese-a tell me-a vhet speceeffic ecshuns thet he-a deed tu undermeene-a zee prugrem. Yuoo eree’t gueeng tu feend zeem – zeey eree’t zeere-a.

    Yuoor creeticism ooff Immert is reedicooluoos. Yuoor creeticism ooff Vuudverd is joost doonreeght cumeecel.

    Vhere-a hes Vuudverd scrooed thees prugrem? He-a hes oonly beee respunseeble-a fur thees prugrem in zee soommer ooff 2008 in a fooll-teeme-a rule-a. Ere-a yuoo gueeng tu huld heem tu zee fure-a fur beeeng zee intereem ED fur zee furst helff ooff 2008? Hoo is he-a respunseeble-a fur unytheeng frum 2004-2007 vhee he-a vesn’t ifee infulfed veet zee Ethleteec Depertment? Telk ebuoot cunspurecy zeeureees. Thees mey be-a oone-a ooff zee greetest cunspurecy zeeureees I’fe-a ifer seee.

    I dun’t leeke-a luseeng. I dun’t leeke-a vhet I’fe-a seee zee lest 5 yeers. It’s mede-a me-a seeck tu my stumech muny teemes oofer. Boot unleeke-a yuoo, I cun et leest teke-a a step beck und reeleeze-a thet zee genesees ooff thees prublem begun vell beffure-a Merk Immert beceme-a Preseedent ooff zee Uneefersity ooff Vesheengtun.

    Iff I spent my teeme-a beeeng a “meendless Rece-a Bunnun meeniun,” zeen I’d be-a cunfeenced thet zee oonly lugeecel ixpluneshun fur oooor feeeloores hefe-a beee Merk Immert und Scutt Vuudverd.

    Qooeete-a frunkly, thet oopeeniun is oone-a ooff zee must ideeutic insunely stoopeed oopeeniuns thet I’fe-a ifer seee in my leeffe-a.

    I dun’t deffend zee “vrung tergets.” Zeere-a is bleme-a tu be-a throon Immert’s vey. I reedeely ecknooledge-a thet. Boot it isn’t hees fooll bleme-a. Bebs deserfes bleme-a. Gerberdeeng deserfes bleme-a. McCurmeeck deserfes sume-a bleme-a. Sleeck deserfes sume-a bleme-a. Geelby deserfes sume-a bleme-a. Toorner deserfes sume-a bleme-a. Tyrune-a deserfes sume-a bleme-a. Ooff zee nemes I’fe-a leested, oonly 3 ooff thuse-a nemes hefe-a uny teemeline-a thet ixtends intu uny purshun ooff Immert’s tenoore-a. Thet’s less thun helff ooff thuse-a nemes.

    Qooeete-a frunkly Rece-a, yuoo ere-a a vurld cless dunkey. Vhee I heer peuple-a beetch und muun ebuoot zee peuple-a in zee Stete-a ooff Vesheengtun – yuoo ere-a a crystel ixemple-a ooff vhy peuple-a beetch ebuoot zee Stete-a ooff Vesheengtun. Vhee I heer peuple-a thet beetch ebuoot zee funs ooff zee Uneefersity ooff Vesheengtun und vhet zeeur cumpleeents ere-a, yuoo represent vhet thuse-a cumpleeents ere-a.

    In my oopeeniun, yuoo ere-a nut guud fur zee Uneefersity ooff Vesheengtun. Yuoo eree’t helpeeng zee prugrem. Yuoo eree’t helpeeng zee Uneefersity. Yuoo ere-a inturely selff-serfeeng und a pumpuoos, iguteesticel jerk.

    Yuoo ere-a berkeeng up zee vrung tree-a iff yuoo ere-a gueeng effter me-a. I’m nut neeefe-a inuoogh tu shufe-a my heed su fer up my erse-a tu ignure-a vhet I em seeeeng. I dun’t theenk thet zeere-a is unybudy thet knoos me-a thet vuoold sey thet I vuooldn’t cell a spede-a a spede-a.

    Ell thet peyeeng fur und ettendeeng gemes lunger thun I’fe-a beee eleefe-a hes dune-a fur yuoo is geefee yuoo a perceeefed ebeelity tu gu be-a a beetter oold mun. Cungrets oon thet.

    Thunks fur shooeeng thuse-a ooff us in a yuoonger genereshun hoo nut tu ect in 20-30 yeers vhee ve-a ere-a in yuoor shues.
  • TierbsHsotBoobs
    TierbsHsotBoobs Member Posts: 39,680