Sweatpants Update

EsophagealFeces

They are threadbare and stretched to the max. Irvin, Skinny, Tuli, offseason natty. My dick cannot get any harder. If Martin commits, it’s going to burst. It’s likely I’ll bleed out quickly. Even if I manage to cauterize it, I’m looking at life as Theon Greyjoy. I’m fucked.

Swaye

PatHadenFS

TheHB

The fact that you’re still wearing your sweatpants speaks volumes.

animate

EsophagealFeces said:

They are threadbare and stretched to the max. Irvin, Skinny, Tuli, offseason natty. My dick cannot get any harder. If Martin commits, it’s going to burst. It’s likely I’ll bleed out quickly. Even if I manage to cauterize it, I’m looking at life as Theon Greyjoy. I’m fucked.

Don't worry, your sweatpants boner of awesomeness will just draw so much blood from your system and locally retain it - that you will pass out from lack of venous return.

Meaning: prepare a soft landing spot like your bed for when you read the news of Martin signing and you'll be fine after the boner subsides and the cerebral hypoxia diminishes.

You're welcome.

DerekJohnson

There can be no immolition before donation

PurpleThrobber

EsophagealFeces said:

They are threadbare and stretched to the max. Irvin, Skinny, Tuli, offseason natty. My dick cannot get any harder. If Martin commits, it’s going to burst. It’s likely I’ll bleed out quickly. Even if I manage to cauterize it, I’m looking at life as Theon Greyjoy. I’m fucked.

I suggest you join #teamyankoff and relieve all that pressure.