-Fuck FS1 for making me record any of that defensive abortion between OU and Baylor. It's bullshit that our? game didn't pick up until almost the end of the first quarter.
-Our DTs are so fucking good. String would start for every other PAC 12 team except maybe SC.
-I was really drunk at this game. Like dry humped a buffalo statue after the game drunk. I poasted the picture in the game thread. I'm too lazy to do it again.
-Nick Harris is best when he's pulling and moving. We should use him like that as much as possible. Mostly because that means running the ball more. Pulling guards in pass pro would be pretty innovative tho. I should email Babushka about that.
-Seriously, run the ball left every fucking play and let Nick Harris pull. If Harris' dad was as good at pulling and finding a different hole, he wouldn't even exist.
-When you're fast forwarding, the American League Division Series logo looks like an AIDS logo.
-Fuck Vizcaino
-Those new Lincoln seats look comfortable as fuck, but who wants to drive a Lincoln? Fuck Matthew McConaughey. That guy's a fucking weirdo. We should probably send him an invite.
-Montez is a pussy. That slide on 3rd down was pathetic.
-Virta Vita is a monster. He raped that blocker to block that punt.
-I just googled Steven Montez to make sure I spelled his last name correctly and realized that he's 6'5" 225, which makes him 5 times the pussy I thought he was 2 minutes ago.
-Hunter Bryant is fucking good. That guy is already a weapon.
-Running touchdowns make my sweatpants tighter.
-I don't give a shit about her car named Brad, but wood.
-Christ almighty, Holly Sonders is a fucking smokeshow. Craves it.
-Nice trick play, Babushka. Fucktard.
-Chico was having a solid game. It's too bad he dies later in the game(Spoiler Alert).
-Coleman getting hurt was a blessing in disguise. He's looked terrible and Gaskin is fucking incredible.
-I saw
@Tequilla at the airport last night. I was going to say hi, but then I remembered it was Tequilla and I didn't have 3 hours to talk. Also, introducing myself to a real person as EsophagealFeces would be really weird.
-Ezekiel Turner is going to kill someone this year. Or himself. Abundance is likely.
-Myles Bryant is surprisingly physical for a midget from Pasadena. You'd think growing up that close to where UCLA plays would make you a pussy.
-Praise Allah we didn't hire Mora. He's fucking trash and his teams are softer than our offensive linemen were before Socha.
-Ryan Bowman isn't completely worthless.
-Jordan Miller is pretty solid. I think his pick in the end zone should have been overturned, but PAC 12 refs FS.
-We have been ridiculously spoiled at running back over the last 8-10 years. Polk, Sankey, Gaskin. Ahmed sure looks like he'll be the next great one.
-Mike Gundy's hair is hilariously awesome.
-Whoa. Holly Sonders is wearing 30lbs of makeup. Still wood.
-Lenius is still a pussy with no ability to recognize where the sticks are. You can fall forward for 2 yards, you fucking loser.
-WR screens are literally the worst play we can run. Our receivers aren't physical enough to block for each other, and Jake doesn't put enough zip on the ball to get it out there quickly enough for those plays to work. Keep calling them, Babushka.
-Facemask with a yuuuuge play on 3rd down to extend that drive.
-That's how good teams capitalize on getting a break. What a fucking catch by Pounds. Holy shit.
-I didn't see any of that drive in person because I was in the fieldhouse getting 3 beers. They let me buy 3 beers in the stadium. What a novel fucking concept. Fuck the zone with a katana covered in AIDS.
-Commercials are getting dumber every fucking day.
@DerekJohnson, am I allowed to call for Hotels.com's Captain Obvious to be killed? Please? Fuck that guy.
-ASU's all maroon uniforms are gross. If I was going to make a porno, the couch would be that color.
-Phillip Lindsay is a halfsie with a gingery fro. L O fucking L.
-We missed Azeem so fucking bad last year.
-Shit, that last thought just made me Captain Obvious. Looks like I better kill myself.
-Colorado can find a kicker who can make a field goal longer than 30 yards, so why the fuck can't we?
-Tim Brando's puns are AIDS. Get the fuck out of here with that shit.
-The OL's pass pro has been really solid. Jake's feet aren't even happy, which is unbelievable.
-I forgot Kamari Pleasant was on our? team, but he's done some nice things. I'd like to see Hunter Bryant used in that role too. I think he has the athleticism to be used as an H back, and it would allow them to move him around and create some mismatches.
-Oh fuck. Chico ded. I know it was coming, and it still surprised me. I suppose you could say I'm surprised I'm surprised.
-God damn, his foot was pointing backwards.
-Fuck the fuck off Vizcaino. You're fucking trash. I hope Trump hurries the fuck up and deports you.
-BBK has played way too much in this game.
-Montez is fucking terrible. How do you stare your receiver down that hard and still miss him by that much. That's the easiest pick 6 I've ever seen.
-Who the fuck is Ryan Bowman? Serious question.
-Tim Brando just said that Pettis is dangerous because Colorado is emotionally distraught. Wow, just wow.
-The OL played a great fucking game. As shitty as they looked the first 3 games, I didn't see this coming.
-So much white on the field between Gaines, BBK, and Bowman. BBK is the only one that doesn't look like he belongs on the field.
-Gaskin is unstoppable if he gets even a little blocking. Block like they did in this game, and nobody in the PAC 12 has a chance.
-Fuck o' dear, Vizcaino. He better have walked home. Pete better tryout some of the soccer players. Even the women could kick better than this shitbag.
-There are so many talented players on this team. Almost every play, someone different is making me think "whoa, who the fuck was that?'
-If UW doesn't go 13-0, they gave one away somewhere. The PAC 12 sucks, and this team doesn't.
-Well, it's time to jerk off and take a nap. Coupled with paid time off, that's as close to pure abundance as you can get. If you read this far, you should definitely kill yourself. Shit throat out.
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