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SLATE PLUS YOUR ALL-ACCESS PASSAPRIL 3 2017
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Help! Why Does My Boyfriend Have So Many Wet Dreams?
Dear Prudence answers more of your questions—only for Slate Plus members.
By Mallory Ortberg
Every week, Mallory Ortberg answers additional questions from readers, just for Slate Plus members.
Q. Are wet dreams a red flag?: I have been dating a great guy for a couple months, but it seems like once or twice a week he gets up because he had a wet dream. He said this is normal, but I can’t help to feel self-conscious about not being enough for him.
We have talked about it, and he says I am doing great, but recently I totally pumped him dry and was still jarred awake at 5:30 a.m. by him having to get out of bed and clean up. I am at my wits’ end and think there must be something more than meets the eye in this. Am I crazy? Should I give him the benefit of the doubt and try harder? Or is this just normal?
A: I mean, is your goal that this guy be completely semenless 24/7? Because that is well above and beyond the call of relationship duty.
Don’t make this trickier than it needs to be. Your boyfriend says he’s happy; you two are having regular sex; and sometimes when he is unconscious, he involuntarily ejaculates. It’s not unheard of for adults, even sexually active ones, to still experience the occasional wet dream. He’s not locking himself in the bathroom and avoiding your touch. This has nothing to do with you.
I’m worried if you “try harder” after “pumping him dry,” one or both of you will experience a fatal case of chafing. You’re doing great! Your boyfriend is doing great! Everything is fine. Next time you wake up because he’s getting up to change clothes in the middle of the night, just go back to sleep.
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Obviously, she still isn't trying hard enough
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