- gay, minority grad student that's been to one game in 2 years in Corvallis. Football is too violent for him but he likes the tight pants. He roots for the Ducks too because they're good, from the same state, his sister goes there and their uniforms are lit. A comp sci major, he'll move to the bay area or Seattle after graduation, make huge money and never give a dime back to the football program.
- townie chick from Albany that barely qualified for admission, lives in the dorms, goes to all the games, knows stats, etc. She's a pharma major. Likely to meet her husband at school and get married right after graduation. He's a pharma grad too. They both get jobs at the Safeway in Burns. They'll have their 2.5 kids and make it back to Corvallis for homecoming every 5 years. They donate $200 a year until their oldest enters club sports and now they just can't afford it.
- old, white guy from Portland. He was there for Terry Baker's Heisman, The Great Pumpkin and Ralph Miller's Orange Express. Never goes to the games anymore because the traffic is bad, people get drunk, they're at night and his wife makes him go to pinochle parties on Saturdays. A retiree on a fixed income, he can't shell out any more clams to help Keep Up with the Duckdashians.
- gay, minority grad student that's been to one game in 2 years in Corvallis. Football is too violent for him but he likes the tight pants. He roots for the Ducks too because they're good, from the same state, his sister goes there and their uniforms are lit. A comp sci major, he'll move to the bay area or Seattle after graduation, make huge money and never give a dime back to the football program.
- townie chick from Albany that barely qualified for admission, lives in the dorms, goes to all the games, knows stats, etc. She's a pharma major. Likely to meet her husband at school and get married right after graduation. He's a pharma grad too. They both get jobs at the Safeway in Burns. They'll have their 2.5 kids and make it back to Corvallis for homecoming every 5 years. They donate $200 a year until their oldest enters club sports and now they just can't afford it.
- old, white guy from Portland. He was there for Terry Baker's Heisman, The Great Pumpkin and Ralph Miller's Orange Express. Never goes to the games anymore because the traffic is bad, people get drunk, they're at night and his wife makes him go to pinochle parties on Saturdays. A retiree on a fixed income, he can't shell out any more clams to help Keep Up with the Duckdashians.
That's the chick that corners you at a party and won't stop trying to dance and lean into you. And then she says thinks like are you having sex with girl? And you're like what? And she's like I dunno just wondering cause you didn't try to fuck me or whatever.
- gay, minority grad student that's been to one game in 2 years in Corvallis. Football is too violent for him but he likes the tight pants. He roots for the Ducks too because they're good, from the same state, his sister goes there and their uniforms are lit. A comp sci major, he'll move to the bay area or Seattle after graduation, make huge money and never give a dime back to the football program.
- townie chick from Albany that barely qualified for admission, lives in the dorms, goes to all the games, knows stats, etc. She's a pharma major. Likely to meet her husband at school and get married right after graduation. He's a pharma grad too. They both get jobs at the Safeway in Burns. They'll have their 2.5 kids and make it back to Corvallis for homecoming every 5 years. They donate $200 a year until their oldest enters club sports and now they just can't afford it.
- old, white guy from Portland. He was there for Terry Baker's Heisman, The Great Pumpkin and Ralph Miller's Orange Express. Never goes to the games anymore because the traffic is bad, people get drunk, they're at night and his wife makes him go to pinochle parties on Saturdays. A retiree on a fixed income, he can't shell out any more clams to help Keep Up with the Duckdashians.
Gotta give credit where credit is due - you nailed it. All of it.
Comments
Must have been a Sark recruit, eh?
From the left:
- gay, minority grad student that's been to one game in 2 years in Corvallis. Football is too violent for him but he likes the tight pants. He roots for the Ducks too because they're good, from the same state, his sister goes there and their uniforms are lit. A comp sci major, he'll move to the bay area or Seattle after graduation, make huge money and never give a dime back to the football program.
- townie chick from Albany that barely qualified for admission, lives in the dorms, goes to all the games, knows stats, etc. She's a pharma major. Likely to meet her husband at school and get married right after graduation. He's a pharma grad too. They both get jobs at the Safeway in Burns. They'll have their 2.5 kids and make it back to Corvallis for homecoming every 5 years. They donate $200 a year until their oldest enters club sports and now they just can't afford it.
- old, white guy from Portland. He was there for Terry Baker's Heisman, The Great Pumpkin and Ralph Miller's Orange Express. Never goes to the games anymore because the traffic is bad, people get drunk, they're at night and his wife makes him go to pinochle parties on Saturdays. A retiree on a fixed income, he can't shell out any more clams to help Keep Up with the Duckdashians.
Not enough awesomes to express..