So... an actual duck walks into a tacky tiki bar in Edmonds

AZDuck

They had a fucking windstorm there today, and so it took twice as long to fly there than he expected.

The power was out, and so the bartender said "you have to pay cash for beer, I'm sorry we don't have any food."

The actual duck fished five dollars out of his feathers for a beer, and as the bartender was pouring it, asked "so, can I have a sandwich?"

The bartender gave the duck his beer, and replied, "I told you, the power's out, so there's no food."

The actual duck drinks his beer and waddles away.

A few minutes later, the duck hops back up onto the bar.

"So, can I have a sandwich?"

At this point, the bartender is annoyed. "I told you already, we can't serve any food with the power out. If you ask me for a sandwich again, I'll nail your fucking flipper to the floor." As things would have it, they don't much care for actual ducks in Edmonds.

After a while, the duck hops back up to the bar.

"Got any nails?"

The bartender replies "No."

"Can I have a fucking sandwich?"

topdawgnc

When I was wee lad in the world of bidness a guy once said ... learn a joke inside and out ... be able to tell it at a moments notice ... and keep it clean.

The above joke is the one I have used throughout my career, without the swear words.

AZDuck

The weird thing is that scenario actually kinda happened today

But yeah, one of my fave clean jokes

PurpleReign

PostGameOrangeSlices

Yeahhh

Tequilla

So a Duck walks into a bar ... Opens up his beak ... And proves to be way more TL, DR than I could ever hope to be

pawz

Tequilla said:

So a Duck walks into a bar ... Opens up his beak ... And proves to be way more TL, DR than I could ever hope to be

Fact. Case closed.

Mad_Son

I learned that joke from my uncle, a Beaver, whose sons were a Wildcat, a Husky, and a Duck.

Needless to say his third son can't walk anymore.

AtomicPiss

That was a different feel to it, with us sitting there in the semi-dark and no TVs blaring or anything like that.

AZDuck

Tequilla said:

So a Duck walks into a bar ... Opens up his beak ... And proves to be way more TL, DR than I could ever hope to be

Disagree. I got a substantial dose of Froog earlier today

droggins

DerekJohnson said:

That was a different feel to it, with us sitting there in the semi-dark and no TVs blaring or anything like that.

Sounds romantico.

PurpleJ

DerekJohnson said:

That was a different feel to it, with us sitting there in the semi-dark and no TVs blaring or anything like that.

It was almost like back home in the basement, but no TV or hot pockets.

Doogles

I imagine the sexual tension was thick.

PurpleReign

BallSacked

Does the actual duck have an actually funny joke?

QuornDawg

AZDuck said:

They had a fucking windstorm there today, and so it took twice as long to fly there than he expected.

The power was out, and so the bartender said "you have to pay cash for beer, I'm sorry we don't have any food."

The actual duck fished five dollars out of his feathers for a beer, and as the bartender was pouring it, asked "so, can I have a sandwich?"

The bartender gave the duck his beer, and replied, "I told you, the power's out, so there's no food."

The actual duck drinks his beer and waddles away.

A few minutes later, the duck hops back up onto the bar.

"So, can I have a sandwich?"

At this point, the bartender is annoyed. "I told you already, we can't serve any food with the power out. If you ask me for a sandwich again, I'll nail your fucking flipper to the floor." As things would have it, they don't much care for actual ducks in Edmonds.

After a while, the duck hops back up to the bar.

"Got any nails?"

The bartender replies "No."

"Can I have a fucking sandwich?"

You're supposed to ask the woman for the sammich

sjd

An actual dog drives into a Portland gas station...

Tequilla

AZDuck said:

Tequilla said:

So a Duck walks into a bar ... Opens up his beak ... And proves to be way more TL, DR than I could ever hope to be

Disagree. I got a substantial dose of Froog earlier today

Well ...

You're a duck and I have a reputation to defend ...

Abundance.