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PM to d2d

PurpleJPurpleJ Member Posts: 37,498 Founders Club
in Tug Tavern
cbsnews.com/news/house-makes-lying-about-military-service-a-crime/
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  • 2001400ex2001400ex Member Posts: 29,457
    I just read the headline. Does that mean death is going to jail?
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  • AZDuckAZDuck Member Posts: 15,381
    edited May 2015
    Okay, this is how it goes. You get an orangutan. I’m not talking a little monkey or some dancing chimp bullshit, I mean a fucking orangutan. Don’t ask me how you’re gonna get a fucking orangutan, because that’s not my problem.
    So the orangutan’s name is Clyde. This is non-negotiable; all orangutans are named Clyde. I don’t know why that is, it’s just how the world works. So you and Clyde become man (and ape) about town. You’re seen everywhere together, you make the scene. You and friends go out in big groups. You talk loud, you laugh louder. Every time you say something witty, you high-five the orangutan. The town begins to buzz. It gets back to her. “Did you know the guy with the orangutan?”, “You used to date the guy with the orangutan?”, “Why would you break up with a guy with an orangutan?”. Next thing you know she’s calling.
    “I’m hoping we can still be friends. Wanna hang out sometime?”
    “Geez, I dunno; me and Clyde were going to go to monster truck race tonight (orangutans love monster trucks). In fact, the whole social calendar seems kinda full. I tell you what, I’ll make a little note (what was your name again?) and maybe I can squeeze you in. Oh well, you know my number so don’t be a stra– Hey, look at the time! I gotta skate, Clyde’s making Mojitoes.”
    At this point, the upper hand is yours. You can let her twist in the wind, you can draw her back into your life at the pace you decide. Whatever, it’s your life. But if you’re a smart man? You slowly phase her back in. You’re IM-ing. You’re talking on Live. You get invited to family functions. You bring Clyde, he becomes like one of the family. You’re one big Brady Bunch.
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  • PurpleJPurpleJ Member Posts: 37,498 Founders Club
    What filth dared pass your unworthy lips, pitiful urchin? I will declare, am the heir of the Elders, I have led our people out of tragedy single-handed, and I have destroyed over 300 white demons. I am learned in the arts of the earth and sky, and none are more connected to the Great Spirit than I! You are but nothing to me, prey. I will have your head hollowed for a gourde, my word is sacred! Do you think your magic will allow you to continue to disrespect me like this? Think again, dog! Even as you stand, my brothers from across the land are circling your home and your sacred place is being hunted right now, so prepare for the onslaught, rat. The onslaught that will decimate your very way of life from your people's history. You are a breathing ghost, child. I can move as I please, night or day, and I can steal your breath in over seven hundred ways, without so much as a knife. Not only am I a warrior-king's son, but I have the loyalty of my entire tribe and I will rather laugh than hesitate at wiping your hide out of this world, little dog. If only you had known what torrents your gibberish would bring upon, you would have kept silent. But you could not, you did not, and now the price will be yours to pay, backwards fool. I will spread fury like droppings until it consumes you, and you drown in its depths. You are a memory, boy.
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  • DardanusDardanus Member Posts: 2,623
    I've seen what getting jizzed on by a group of people does to a man, it is not pretty. I wasn't a part of it but when I was 12 or 13 I went to a sleep away summer camp and this is like when we were starting to discover porn and jacking off. Some kid brought some playboys and naked playing cards, shit like that with him. Anyway, one kid in our cabin was a huge tool, stole stuff like food and money from other people in our cabin. So half a dozen kids decided one night to wake up in the middle of the night at like 3 a.m and take turns jacking off in the bathroom, running out before they finished and blowing their load on the kid when he was sleeping. Literally 6-8 kids did this, all over his face, sheets, upper body, and hands, one kid also did it in his shoes. So everyone else wakes up the next morning and we all knew what had happened but this kid couldn't figure out why he was all sticky for like 15 minutes until a counselor forced it out of a kid. When the kid found out he went absolutely nuts, like certifiably crazy mental breakdown. He had to leave the camp for psychiatric treatment, worst part was after he took a shower and went to leave he stepped in the jizz shoes and also like 6 of my friends I never saw again because they got kicked out.
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  • GrundleStiltzkinGrundleStiltzkin Member Posts: 61,515 Standard Supporter
    https://youtu.be/NsZMbs5PC64
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  • AZDuckAZDuck Member Posts: 15,381
    this bored puts the /b/ in "beat Oregon, nothing else matters"
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  • Fire_Marshall_BillFire_Marshall_Bill Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 24,348 Founders Club
    This thread stopped delivering.
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  • AZDuckAZDuck Member Posts: 15,381
    Fire_Marshall_Bill said:

    This thread stopped delivering.

    disagree
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  • d2dd2d Member Posts: 3,109
    I agree and apologize. My service is nobody's fucking business in here. I am very aware of the above law. I personally lobbied my reps to get it passed. I also filed two criminal complaints against 2 persons who never spent a day in uniform.

    Too bad challenging somebody's service without evidence is not against the law.

    I am done discussing my military career in here. I also will no longer disparage AZFuck's Reserve/Guard/Girl Scouts/Whatever service. I thank him for his occasional service to our country.
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  • bananasnblondesbananasnblondes Member Posts: 15,398
    d2d said:

    I agree and apologize. My service is nobody's fucking business in here. I am very aware of the above law. I personally lobbied my reps to get it passed. I also filed two criminal complaints against 2 persons who never spent a day in uniform.

    Too bad challenging somebody's service without evidence is not against the law.

    I am done discussing my military career in here. I also will no longer disparage AZFuck's Reserve/Guard/Girl Scouts/Whatever service. I thank him for his occasional service to our country.

    I'm pretty sure this has now confirmed that d2d is Chipocrit
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  • AZDuckAZDuck Member Posts: 15,381
    edited May 2015
    Fuck off.
    [To SPC Jeremy] Church, there was no distinction between the Reserve and active-duty components since everyone was on the same mission.

    "It's nice to know that great people have your back," he said. "I guess someday my children or my grandchildren will see this and be proud."

    CPL Hutchinson, then a private on personal security detail, earned the Silver Star in 2008 by placing accurate and effective fire on insurgents while in a convoy heading to a forward operating base in Afghanistan.
    http://www.army.mil/article/146977/Army_Reserve_dedicates_permanent_exhibit_at_Pentagon/

    http://www.army.mil/article/5061/Minnesota_National_Guard_Soldier_Awarded_Silver_Star/
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  • DeepSeaZDeepSeaZ Member Posts: 3,901
    AZDuck said:

    Okay, this is how it goes. You get an orangutan. I’m not talking a little monkey or some dancing chimp bullshit, I mean a fucking orangutan. Don’t ask me how you’re gonna get a fucking orangutan, because that’s not my problem.
    So the orangutan’s name is Clyde. This is non-negotiable; all orangutans are named Clyde. I don’t know why that is, it’s just how the world works. So you and Clyde become man (and ape) about town. You’re seen everywhere together, you make the scene. You and friends go out in big groups. You talk loud, you laugh louder. Every time you say something witty, you high-five the orangutan. The town begins to buzz. It gets back to her. “Did you know the guy with the orangutan?”, “You used to date the guy with the orangutan?”, “Why would you break up with a guy with an orangutan?”. Next thing you know she’s calling.
    “I’m hoping we can still be friends. Wanna hang out sometime?”
    “Geez, I dunno; me and Clyde were going to go to monster truck race tonight (orangutans love monster trucks). In fact, the whole social calendar seems kinda full. I tell you what, I’ll make a little note (what was your name again?) and maybe I can squeeze you in. Oh well, you know my number so don’t be a stra– Hey, look at the time! I gotta skate, Clyde’s making Mojitoes.”
    At this point, the upper hand is yours. You can let her twist in the wind, you can draw her back into your life at the pace you decide. Whatever, it’s your life. But if you’re a smart man? You slowly phase her back in. You’re IM-ing. You’re talking on Live. You get invited to family functions. You bring Clyde, he becomes like one of the family. You’re one big Brady Bunch.

    I said no apist crap!
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  • CirrhosisDawgCirrhosisDawg Member Posts: 6,390
    I also will no longer disparage AZFuck's Reserve/Guard/Girl Scouts/Whatever service. I thank him for his occasional service to our country.

    Fucked up human being post of the day!11eleven1!
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  • d2dd2d Member Posts: 3,109
    edited May 2015
    AZDuck said:

    Fuck off.

    [To SPC Jeremy] Church, there was no distinction between the Reserve and active-duty components since everyone was on the same mission.

    "It's nice to know that great people have your back," he said. "I guess someday my children or my grandchildren will see this and be proud."

    CPL Hutchinson, then a private on personal security detail, earned the Silver Star in 2008 by placing accurate and effective fire on insurgents while in a convoy heading to a forward operating base in Afghanistan.
    =)) Too much to believe that an Army NG can shoot "Accurate and effective."

    http://www.army.mil/article/146977/Army_Reserve_dedicates_permanent_exhibit_at_Pentagon/

    http://www.army.mil/article/5061/Minnesota_National_Guard_Soldier_Awarded_Silver_Star/

    What a great stories. WOW. TWO Silver Stars and no mention of a Purple Heart? I knew you guys were chicken shit, but that's incredible.

    :))
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  • d2dd2d Member Posts: 3,109
    edited May 2015
    CirrhosisDawg said:

    I also will no longer disparage AZFuck's Reserve/Guard/Girl Scouts/Whatever service. I thank him for his occasional service to our country.

    Fucked up human being post of the day!11eleven1!

    Nope won't bite, even though AZFuck's girlfriend spends 3.5 times more days on the rag per month than he spends on active duty. Nope, won't do it.
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