People from Portland are more of the annoying hipsters that haul around a typewriter to coffee shops and never stfu about their calligraphy class at Reed College. People from Seattle are more of the dirty hippy types that scorn you for flushing their toilet that has had piss and shit rot in it for about a week.
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Game over.
Get a parody tv show made about your city, and then pop off.
#SimultaneousNukesPlz
http://www.ridethepine.com/bleacher-babe/vancouver-canucks-flasher-video/ (NSFW in a good way, not citrus)
PASS.