So I'm at a bar

MikeDamone

Pretty sure I'm sitting next to Marty Funkhouser. He looks like him and he's saying jokes like this:

A woman is very afraid of the size of her opening. So she goes to her mother, she says what am I going to do I’m so big down there when I marry Harry he’s going to divorce me. Her mother says don’t worry sweetheart it runs in the family, do what I did when I married your father. Go to the market, get some raw liver, put it in there he’ll never know the difference. So she does. They have eight hours of sex after their marriage. She wakes up at 10 o’clock, he’s gone but there’s a note on her pillow. It says -: “My darling Harriet. To think that I waited a year to consummate our loving relationship makes my heart beat so loudly I’m surprised it didn’t wake you up. The only reason I’m not here now darling is that I’m at work to make enough money to buy you a house, a picket fence, we’ll have dogs and children. When the 5 o’clock dinner bell rings I will be home like the winged Gossamer of love in your arms,2 Your loving husband, Harry. PS. Your cunt is in the sink."

TommySQC

Classy joint.

RoadDawg55

MikeDamone said:

Pretty sure I'm sitting next to Marty Funkhouser. He looks like him and he's saying jokes like this:

A woman is very afraid of the size of her opening. So she goes to her mother, she says what am I going to do I’m so big down there when I marry Harry he’s going to divorce me. Her mother says don’t worry sweetheart it runs in the family, do what I did when I married your father. Go to the market, get some raw liver, put it in there he’ll never know the difference. So she does. They have eight hours of sex after their marriage. She wakes up at 10 o’clock, he’s gone but there’s a note on her pillow. It says -: “My darling Harriet. To think that I waited a year to consummate our loving relationship makes my heart beat so loudly I’m surprised it didn’t wake you up. The only reason I’m not here now darling is that I’m at work to make enough money to buy you a house, a picket fence, we’ll have dogs and children. When the 5 o’clock dinner bell rings I will be home like the winged Gossamer of love in your arms,2 Your loving husband, Harry. PS. Your cunt is in the sink."

Funkhauser said that exact joke on Curb. That guy is hilarious, but Leon Black is the best character on Curb, and in my mind is the funniest character to ever exist on TV. I love Seinfeld, but Curb is even better.

MikeDamone

RoadDawg55 said:

MikeDamone said:

Pretty sure I'm sitting next to Marty Funkhouser. He looks like him and he's saying jokes like this:

A woman is very afraid of the size of her opening. So she goes to her mother, she says what am I going to do I’m so big down there when I marry Harry he’s going to divorce me. Her mother says don’t worry sweetheart it runs in the family, do what I did when I married your father. Go to the market, get some raw liver, put it in there he’ll never know the difference. So she does. They have eight hours of sex after their marriage. She wakes up at 10 o’clock, he’s gone but there’s a note on her pillow. It says -: “My darling Harriet. To think that I waited a year to consummate our loving relationship makes my heart beat so loudly I’m surprised it didn’t wake you up. The only reason I’m not here now darling is that I’m at work to make enough money to buy you a house, a picket fence, we’ll have dogs and children. When the 5 o’clock dinner bell rings I will be home like the winged Gossamer of love in your arms,2 Your loving husband, Harry. PS. Your cunt is in the sink."

Funkhauser said that exact joke on Curb. That guy is hilarious, but Leon Black is the best character on Curb, and in my mind is the funniest character to ever exist on TV. I love Seinfeld, but Curb is even better.

Really, he said that exact joke on Curb your enthusiasm? What are the odds?

DeepSeaZ

What's the worst thing you can do to a blind person?

Leave the plunger in the toilet.