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I've been gone a while.
creepycoug
Member Posts: 24,017
Been away on vaca. So while I was gone my sister's son (making him my nephew) was drowning in lake chelan ... so I had to run like fucking hell, faster than a late 40s fat guy should ever have to run, hurdle a few families on the beach and save his ass. It was awesome. I even got a blowjob that night for the first time in like 5 years. Very cool day, and I'm pretty fucking cool now.
So Oregon is going to get run on again this season. Good luck with that.
We suck, but Peterman has like five weeks to figure out why so I'm not hitting the eject button just yet.
Winston is a hell of an athlete but is not a great QB, and he, and anyone else who doesn't know already, are going to find out why you miss a 6'5" 235 lb receiver who can run, jump and catch.
Sarkesian has gained weight and is more dude brah than ever. Fuck I can't weight until that thing really starts to implode. I absolutely know it will. The USC homers on Pac 12 are all jizzing their Dockers over SC's return already because of their dominant performance over frezneck. Fuck give it a couple games at least before pronouncing their shit. Why is Curtis Conway on TV? And is Matt Leinart cross-eyed and punch drunk now? Or am I just projecting? Fuck he's almost as stupid as Jake (not ours; ASU's).
So I watched "The Drive" last night. Normally I like that kind of sports kitsch, but fuck, that's terrible shit. If it were about the Canes my bias would kick in of course and I'd love it. But for sports and teams about which I don't give a shit, it's gotta be better than that to pull me in. So anyway, I'm watching it, and saw Ricky's son. FUCK AN A! Can there be a more identical father and son combo on the fucking planet? They look exactly a like, sans junior's head of hair, down to the blushy cheeks and shit, and holy mother fucking shit they speak exactly like one another: well-articulated verbosity at its finest. Unless the world has completely turned upside down while I was on vacation this summer, it has to be that Weezy Junior gets picked on A LOT by the real football players on that team. What a fucking goof ball that kid is. Yes, yes, I know, he gets laid more than I do. Then again, who doesn't?
It's good to be back. I do hope it's not a terribly long season.
So Oregon is going to get run on again this season. Good luck with that.
We suck, but Peterman has like five weeks to figure out why so I'm not hitting the eject button just yet.
Winston is a hell of an athlete but is not a great QB, and he, and anyone else who doesn't know already, are going to find out why you miss a 6'5" 235 lb receiver who can run, jump and catch.
Sarkesian has gained weight and is more dude brah than ever. Fuck I can't weight until that thing really starts to implode. I absolutely know it will. The USC homers on Pac 12 are all jizzing their Dockers over SC's return already because of their dominant performance over frezneck. Fuck give it a couple games at least before pronouncing their shit. Why is Curtis Conway on TV? And is Matt Leinart cross-eyed and punch drunk now? Or am I just projecting? Fuck he's almost as stupid as Jake (not ours; ASU's).
So I watched "The Drive" last night. Normally I like that kind of sports kitsch, but fuck, that's terrible shit. If it were about the Canes my bias would kick in of course and I'd love it. But for sports and teams about which I don't give a shit, it's gotta be better than that to pull me in. So anyway, I'm watching it, and saw Ricky's son. FUCK AN A! Can there be a more identical father and son combo on the fucking planet? They look exactly a like, sans junior's head of hair, down to the blushy cheeks and shit, and holy mother fucking shit they speak exactly like one another: well-articulated verbosity at its finest. Unless the world has completely turned upside down while I was on vacation this summer, it has to be that Weezy Junior gets picked on A LOT by the real football players on that team. What a fucking goof ball that kid is. Yes, yes, I know, he gets laid more than I do. Then again, who doesn't?
It's good to be back. I do hope it's not a terribly long season.
Comments
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Down voted for waiting 5 years for a blowjob. Get a hooker, bro.
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This post motivated me to go workout....brb, jo
Also....WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!?!?! -
But upvoted for admitting that shit here. Also, PICS or GTFO (of the girl, not the blow job).allpurpleallgold said:Down voted for waiting 5 years for a blowjob. Get a hooker, bro.
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Abundance.Swaye said:
But upvoted for admitting that shit here. Also, PICS or GTFO (of the girl, not the blow job).allpurpleallgold said:Down voted for waiting 5 years for a blowjob. Get a hooker, bro.
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A lot of sucking in OP and references to nephew.
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HH HOF material. Sandusky approved.priapism said:A lot of sucking in OP and references to nephew.
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Well, fuck, ok. The story about my nephew isn't really true. I just made it up. Fuck. And, yeah, the blowjob thing was made up too. And it's really been like 10 years, so there's that. I think the reason my wife doesn't "do that" anymore is because I'm hispanic and she's discovering her inner racist in her middle age. Fucking bitch.Swaye said:
But upvoted for admitting that shit here. Also, PICS or GTFO (of the girl, not the blow job).allpurpleallgold said:Down voted for waiting 5 years for a blowjob. Get a hooker, bro.
Yeah, I'd do the hooker, but I'm only a pretend lawyer, so I don't really have the funds to do the high quality shit, and the low quality shit scares me, so I just take care of bizznezz in my mind. At least I can remember getting a blow job ... for the time being.
Who the fuck am I? The question is, who the fuck are you??? [smiley face HERE to indicate non-aggression].
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Since you are Hispanic, I have amended my pro-tip for the day. Give her a dirty Sanchez. That will teach her who's boss, and pay tribute to your heritage. Two birds, one stone.creepycoug said:
Well, fuck, ok. The story about my nephew isn't really true. I just made it up. Fuck. And, yeah, the blowjob thing was made up too. And it's really been like 10 years, so there's that. I think the reason my wife doesn't "do that" anymore is because I'm hispanic and she's discovering her inner racist in her middle age. Fucking bitch.Swaye said:
But upvoted for admitting that shit here. Also, PICS or GTFO (of the girl, not the blow job).allpurpleallgold said:Down voted for waiting 5 years for a blowjob. Get a hooker, bro.
Yeah, I'd do the hooker, but I'm only a pretend lawyer, so I don't really have the funds to do the high quality shit, and the low quality shit scares me, so I just take care of bizznezz in my mind. At least I can remember getting a blow job ... for the time being.
Who the fuck am I? The question is, who the fuck are you??? [smiley face HERE to indicate non-aggression]. -
I think you have confused "fucking" and "sucking". I counted like 25 "fucks" in my OP and only one "suck". While they are related concepts, they are not, I'm afraid, synonyms. Not that it matters in my life as it exists to today. An entirely academic distinction with no practical consequence for the likes of me.priapism said:A lot of sucking in OP and references to nephew.
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So did the nephew give you a blow job or not?
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Where do I pick up my minion card?RaceBannon said:So did the nephew give you a blow job or not?
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RaceBannon said:
So did the nephew give you a good blow job or not?
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Done. And I think I'm going with the Atomic Dirty Sanchez. This involves full digital anal penetration for the finger prep portion of the maneuver. Preferably 7 to 10 hours after chili or a spicy burrito.Swaye said:
Since you are Hispanic, I have amended my pro-tip for the day. Give her a dirty Sanchez. That will teach her who's boss, and pay tribute to your heritage. Two birds, one stone.creepycoug said:
Well, fuck, ok. The story about my nephew isn't really true. I just made it up. Fuck. And, yeah, the blowjob thing was made up too. And it's really been like 10 years, so there's that. I think the reason my wife doesn't "do that" anymore is because I'm hispanic and she's discovering her inner racist in her middle age. Fucking bitch.Swaye said:
But upvoted for admitting that shit here. Also, PICS or GTFO (of the girl, not the blow job).allpurpleallgold said:Down voted for waiting 5 years for a blowjob. Get a hooker, bro.
Yeah, I'd do the hooker, but I'm only a pretend lawyer, so I don't really have the funds to do the high quality shit, and the low quality shit scares me, so I just take care of bizznezz in my mind. At least I can remember getting a blow job ... for the time being.
Who the fuck am I? The question is, who the fuck are you??? [smiley face HERE to indicate non-aggression]. -
well played sir. well played.RaceBannon said:So did the nephew give you a blow job or not?
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Way to incorporate more Messican stuff into your heritage routine. Bad ass.creepycoug said:
Done. And I think I'm going with the Atomic Dirty Sanchez. This involves full digital anal penetration for the finger prep portion of the maneuver. Preferably 7 to 10 hours after chili or a spicy burrito.Swaye said:
Since you are Hispanic, I have amended my pro-tip for the day. Give her a dirty Sanchez. That will teach her who's boss, and pay tribute to your heritage. Two birds, one stone.creepycoug said:
Well, fuck, ok. The story about my nephew isn't really true. I just made it up. Fuck. And, yeah, the blowjob thing was made up too. And it's really been like 10 years, so there's that. I think the reason my wife doesn't "do that" anymore is because I'm hispanic and she's discovering her inner racist in her middle age. Fucking bitch.Swaye said:
But upvoted for admitting that shit here. Also, PICS or GTFO (of the girl, not the blow job).allpurpleallgold said:Down voted for waiting 5 years for a blowjob. Get a hooker, bro.
Yeah, I'd do the hooker, but I'm only a pretend lawyer, so I don't really have the funds to do the high quality shit, and the low quality shit scares me, so I just take care of bizznezz in my mind. At least I can remember getting a blow job ... for the time being.
Who the fuck am I? The question is, who the fuck are you??? [smiley face HERE to indicate non-aggression]. -
This thread delivers and makes up for all of the bullshit over the past 24 hours.
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Jesus. Get some fucking money.creepycoug said:Swaye said:
But upvoted for admitting that shit here. Also, PICS or GTFO (of the girl, not the blow job).allpurpleallgold said:Down voted for waiting 5 years for a blowjob. Get a hooker, bro.
Yeah, I'd do the hooker, but I'm only a pretend lawyer, so I don't really have the funds to do the high quality shit
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Can't you reed good? I said I'm hispanic. Whaddya want me to do? Pick more apples? it's not as easy as it looks.CheersWestDawg said:
Jesus. Get some fucking money.creepycoug said:Swaye said:
But upvoted for admitting that shit here. Also, PICS or GTFO (of the girl, not the blow job).allpurpleallgold said:Down voted for waiting 5 years for a blowjob. Get a hooker, bro.
Yeah, I'd do the hooker, but I'm only a pretend lawyer, so I don't really have the funds to do the high quality shit
