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I've been gone a while.

creepycougcreepycoug Member Posts: 22,995
edited August 2014 in Hardcore Husky Board
Been away on vaca. So while I was gone my sister's son (making him my nephew) was drowning in lake chelan ... so I had to run like fucking hell, faster than a late 40s fat guy should ever have to run, hurdle a few families on the beach and save his ass. It was awesome. I even got a blowjob that night for the first time in like 5 years. Very cool day, and I'm pretty fucking cool now.

So Oregon is going to get run on again this season. Good luck with that.

We suck, but Peterman has like five weeks to figure out why so I'm not hitting the eject button just yet.

Winston is a hell of an athlete but is not a great QB, and he, and anyone else who doesn't know already, are going to find out why you miss a 6'5" 235 lb receiver who can run, jump and catch.

Sarkesian has gained weight and is more dude brah than ever. Fuck I can't weight until that thing really starts to implode. I absolutely know it will. The USC homers on Pac 12 are all jizzing their Dockers over SC's return already because of their dominant performance over frezneck. Fuck give it a couple games at least before pronouncing their shit. Why is Curtis Conway on TV? And is Matt Leinart cross-eyed and punch drunk now? Or am I just projecting? Fuck he's almost as stupid as Jake (not ours; ASU's).

So I watched "The Drive" last night. Normally I like that kind of sports kitsch, but fuck, that's terrible shit. If it were about the Canes my bias would kick in of course and I'd love it. But for sports and teams about which I don't give a shit, it's gotta be better than that to pull me in. So anyway, I'm watching it, and saw Ricky's son. FUCK AN A! Can there be a more identical father and son combo on the fucking planet? They look exactly a like, sans junior's head of hair, down to the blushy cheeks and shit, and holy mother fucking shit they speak exactly like one another: well-articulated verbosity at its finest. Unless the world has completely turned upside down while I was on vacation this summer, it has to be that Weezy Junior gets picked on A LOT by the real football players on that team. What a fucking goof ball that kid is. Yes, yes, I know, he gets laid more than I do. Then again, who doesn't?

It's good to be back. I do hope it's not a terribly long season.

Comments

  • PurpleJPurpleJ Member Posts: 37,003 Founders Club
    This post motivated me to go workout....brb, jo

    Also....WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!?!?!
  • SwayeSwaye Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 41,358 Founders Club

    Down voted for waiting 5 years for a blowjob. Get a hooker, bro.

    But upvoted for admitting that shit here. Also, PICS or GTFO (of the girl, not the blow job).
  • allpurpleallgoldallpurpleallgold Member Posts: 8,771
    Swaye said:

    Down voted for waiting 5 years for a blowjob. Get a hooker, bro.

    But upvoted for admitting that shit here. Also, PICS or GTFO (of the girl, not the blow job).
    Abundance.
  • priapismpriapism Member Posts: 2,050
    A lot of sucking in OP and references to nephew.
  • SwayeSwaye Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 41,358 Founders Club
    priapism said:

    A lot of sucking in OP and references to nephew.

    HH HOF material. Sandusky approved.
  • creepycougcreepycoug Member Posts: 22,995
    priapism said:

    A lot of sucking in OP and references to nephew.

    I think you have confused "fucking" and "sucking". I counted like 25 "fucks" in my OP and only one "suck". While they are related concepts, they are not, I'm afraid, synonyms. Not that it matters in my life as it exists to today. An entirely academic distinction with no practical consequence for the likes of me.
  • SwayeSwaye Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 41,358 Founders Club

    So did the nephew give you a blow job or not?

    Where do I pick up my minion card?
  • priapismpriapism Member Posts: 2,050

    So did the nephew give you a good blow job or not?

  • creepycougcreepycoug Member Posts: 22,995
    Swaye said:

    Swaye said:

    Down voted for waiting 5 years for a blowjob. Get a hooker, bro.

    But upvoted for admitting that shit here. Also, PICS or GTFO (of the girl, not the blow job).
    Well, fuck, ok. The story about my nephew isn't really true. I just made it up. Fuck. And, yeah, the blowjob thing was made up too. And it's really been like 10 years, so there's that. I think the reason my wife doesn't "do that" anymore is because I'm hispanic and she's discovering her inner racist in her middle age. Fucking bitch.

    Yeah, I'd do the hooker, but I'm only a pretend lawyer, so I don't really have the funds to do the high quality shit, and the low quality shit scares me, so I just take care of bizznezz in my mind. At least I can remember getting a blow job ... for the time being.

    Who the fuck am I? The question is, who the fuck are you??? [smiley face HERE to indicate non-aggression].

    Since you are Hispanic, I have amended my pro-tip for the day. Give her a dirty Sanchez. That will teach her who's boss, and pay tribute to your heritage. Two birds, one stone.
    Done. And I think I'm going with the Atomic Dirty Sanchez. This involves full digital anal penetration for the finger prep portion of the maneuver. Preferably 7 to 10 hours after chili or a spicy burrito.
  • creepycougcreepycoug Member Posts: 22,995

    So did the nephew give you a blow job or not?

    well played sir. well played.
  • SwayeSwaye Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 41,358 Founders Club

    Swaye said:

    Swaye said:

    Down voted for waiting 5 years for a blowjob. Get a hooker, bro.

    But upvoted for admitting that shit here. Also, PICS or GTFO (of the girl, not the blow job).
    Well, fuck, ok. The story about my nephew isn't really true. I just made it up. Fuck. And, yeah, the blowjob thing was made up too. And it's really been like 10 years, so there's that. I think the reason my wife doesn't "do that" anymore is because I'm hispanic and she's discovering her inner racist in her middle age. Fucking bitch.

    Yeah, I'd do the hooker, but I'm only a pretend lawyer, so I don't really have the funds to do the high quality shit, and the low quality shit scares me, so I just take care of bizznezz in my mind. At least I can remember getting a blow job ... for the time being.

    Who the fuck am I? The question is, who the fuck are you??? [smiley face HERE to indicate non-aggression].

    Since you are Hispanic, I have amended my pro-tip for the day. Give her a dirty Sanchez. That will teach her who's boss, and pay tribute to your heritage. Two birds, one stone.
    Done. And I think I'm going with the Atomic Dirty Sanchez. This involves full digital anal penetration for the finger prep portion of the maneuver. Preferably 7 to 10 hours after chili or a spicy burrito.
    Way to incorporate more Messican stuff into your heritage routine. Bad ass.
  • TierbsHsotBoobsTierbsHsotBoobs Member Posts: 39,680
    This thread delivers and makes up for all of the bullshit over the past 24 hours.
  • CheersWestDawgCheersWestDawg Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 2,477 Swaye's Wigwam

    Swaye said:

    Down voted for waiting 5 years for a blowjob. Get a hooker, bro.

    But upvoted for admitting that shit here. Also, PICS or GTFO (of the girl, not the blow job).

    Yeah, I'd do the hooker, but I'm only a pretend lawyer, so I don't really have the funds to do the high quality shit

    Jesus. Get some fucking money.
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