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What an awesome day, mans.
PatHadenFS
Member Posts: 542
Practice starts today!
It's been 9 months and 5 days since I fired Head Coach and Professional Boner-Killer Lane Kiffin following an embarrassing loss at ASU's Kush field, which is a pretty dope name. Hardy har har.
Now, our boys take the field behind brand new Head Coach, slash Offensive Coordinator, slash Offensive Genius, slash Pickle Enthusiast, Stefan Sarkisian. You guys might remember him for his legendary offensive innovations, such as run-run-incomplete-pass-punt, and first-down-except-there's-a-flag.
Things have already been hoppin' around here. Macklemore and Ivan Lewis have the kids focused on getting "TV Arms", which means you have nice arms while on the sidelines when the commentators are discussing your ACL tear or high ankle sprain.
USC starts it's season with a game against the formerly tuff Fresno State, followed by a September 6th showdown with Coach Rick Shaw's Stanford Cardinal. After that we'll play 8 shitty teams in a row, meaning Stefan probably doesn't lose more than 3 of those.
You can tell that the players are already embracing Stefan's culture. Look at this guy's O-face! He'll definitely make the "2-Deeps" this season.
I'm sorry to hear that things are such a dreckfest up in Muttlake (LOL! SEE WHAT I DID THERE?). I was reading the coaches pole, and it looks like they picked you last place. How can you guys be expected to compete in the modern edgy landscape of CFB with a Churchlady like Christopete Boisestate running your program? Probably best to just blow the whole thing up.
HOWEVER, it's awfully warm for football season, so enjoy the practice reports while you can. I heard Jerry Brewer say 9-wins or doorassout on iheartradio today, which shows up delusional your Seattle media is. We all know the Seattle media's reputation for outlandishly high expectations of your football team.
The coogs tell me that your schedule is too soft. Man up and play Portland State and Nevada, you pussies! When you guys go 6-0, having gameday there will be undeserved. But gameday is definitely coming to Pullman this year. Definitely.
In conclusion, take your cock out and rock with it. I'll see you bitches in the Pac-8 Title Game, the speedballs are on me.
With Respect,
Pat Haden, Football Superfan.
It's been 9 months and 5 days since I fired Head Coach and Professional Boner-Killer Lane Kiffin following an embarrassing loss at ASU's Kush field, which is a pretty dope name. Hardy har har.
Now, our boys take the field behind brand new Head Coach, slash Offensive Coordinator, slash Offensive Genius, slash Pickle Enthusiast, Stefan Sarkisian. You guys might remember him for his legendary offensive innovations, such as run-run-incomplete-pass-punt, and first-down-except-there's-a-flag.
Things have already been hoppin' around here. Macklemore and Ivan Lewis have the kids focused on getting "TV Arms", which means you have nice arms while on the sidelines when the commentators are discussing your ACL tear or high ankle sprain.
USC starts it's season with a game against the formerly tuff Fresno State, followed by a September 6th showdown with Coach Rick Shaw's Stanford Cardinal. After that we'll play 8 shitty teams in a row, meaning Stefan probably doesn't lose more than 3 of those.
You can tell that the players are already embracing Stefan's culture. Look at this guy's O-face! He'll definitely make the "2-Deeps" this season.
I'm sorry to hear that things are such a dreckfest up in Muttlake (LOL! SEE WHAT I DID THERE?). I was reading the coaches pole, and it looks like they picked you last place. How can you guys be expected to compete in the modern edgy landscape of CFB with a Churchlady like Christopete Boisestate running your program? Probably best to just blow the whole thing up.
HOWEVER, it's awfully warm for football season, so enjoy the practice reports while you can. I heard Jerry Brewer say 9-wins or doorassout on iheartradio today, which shows up delusional your Seattle media is. We all know the Seattle media's reputation for outlandishly high expectations of your football team.
The coogs tell me that your schedule is too soft. Man up and play Portland State and Nevada, you pussies! When you guys go 6-0, having gameday there will be undeserved. But gameday is definitely coming to Pullman this year. Definitely.
In conclusion, take your cock out and rock with it. I'll see you bitches in the Pac-8 Title Game, the speedballs are on me.
With Respect,
Pat Haden, Football Superfan.
Comments
Fuck you.