Jason Gessers couch getting awfully hot-bursting into flame

The Cougar Gold is overwhelming in this article:

"Using WSU funds to fly a woman to a Cougar Legends golf event in Cle Elum in 2016 despite the woman not being a former athlete at WSU, drawing backlash from donors."

* Is the issue here that the female wasn't a "Legend" significant to warrant a seat on the Cougar Cessna?

* Or, is the issue Coug boosters were disappointed that the woman wasn't a Coug "legend" as prominent as someone, like … ummm … well … (insert female Coug "legend" here when you think of one)?

* Or, is the issue that Coug boosters finally realized what a tool Gesser was when he thought that flying his side piece to fucking Cle Elum was a romantic getaway?

The donor complained to him that the woman had been invited up for Gesser’s personal reasons instead of the interests of the donors or WSU, Ganders said in the records.

* Ok, so if Gesser shares his side piece for the "interests of the donors", then it's all good? Got it. Coug logic cutting through the haze.

“Is WSU athletics paying for Jason’s side pieces to travel with him to events?” Farkas told investigators a donor asked him.

* I can use "side piece" because I'm an anonymous guy on this shit-hole website. When Coug athletic department administrators use the word "side piece" to refer to a female that travelled with Gesser, that demonstrates how sensitive true Cougs are to women's issues.

Ganders said in the interview the woman in question was supposed to be auctioned off as a caddy for donors the next day, but she never fulfilled her duties for the tournament.

* Not only did Gesser not share, that bitch didn't even pack the donor's bags.

* I totally understand why a complaint was lodged now. It's one thing to avoid the traditional Cougar "Legend" spit-roast (if you know what I mean), it's entirely another thing to think you're going to continue to maintain your dignity by NOT packing a Coug donor's golf bag while he ogles your ass. That's a bridge too far.

Almond also said he was told to “shut my mouth and stay in my lane,” but did not make clear who said that, according to the records.

* This article, absolutely and unequivocally, required a LaVar Ball reference to be complete. Mission accomplished.

“Generally speaking, yeah, the president of a university has the authority to do a lot of stuff,” Schulz said.

* Ho-Lee-Fuk. Those jokes just write themselves.

* If this was the guy that Bill Moos was taking orders from, I no longer question why he got the fuck out.