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Official (shout out to @89 Ute) what do you do when LDS Missionaries stop by your home thread?
YellowSnow
Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 37,347 
in Tug Tavern
Seems like a I get a visit from Elder Smith and Elder Smith about every 2 years or so making the rounds through my neighborhood at the time. I'm curious what the bored members do when they get a visit?
A few nights ago I saw them coming up the street, so I went and put a cold beer in my cozy. When they ask if I am familiar with the LDS brand, I say you bet - I'm from the homeland (i.e., Utah) which brings a smile to their faces. I follow this up with a declaration of my militant atheism so I'm probably not a good prospect. Alas, I feel terrible for these kids getting sent away form their parents for 2 years to go knock on doors, so I try to brighten their day with some friendly small talk about Utah and how the mission is going. We shake hands and they go on their merry way.
A few nights ago I saw them coming up the street, so I went and put a cold beer in my cozy. When they ask if I am familiar with the LDS brand, I say you bet - I'm from the homeland (i.e., Utah) which brings a smile to their faces. I follow this up with a declaration of my militant atheism so I'm probably not a good prospect. Alas, I feel terrible for these kids getting sent away form their parents for 2 years to go knock on doors, so I try to brighten their day with some friendly small talk about Utah and how the mission is going. We shake hands and they go on their merry way.
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I generally fall out the front door of the trailer with about a dozen beer cans and piss on myself while yelling "begone white devils" from the fetal position.
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Those Mormon motherfuckers make relentless sales guys later in life. They DNGAF about taking "No's".
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I dont have a door in my hovel
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I simply yell "no planet for you" in my best soup Nazi accent and slam the door.
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Oh my heck, Ute, that's some funny fucking shit. Damn those guys are smooth.89ute said: -
Those fuckers were relentless. Rang and knocked 3 times. Assholes.89ute said: -
When I see them unloading in my neighborhood, I load up the AC/DC and play Hell Ain't a Bad Place to Be - really loud.
It's like Mormon repellent.
They all know it's a complete waste of time to come to my door now. -
I just stay down in the basement and let the dog bark viciously at them while jumping at the door and see which one of us can take it the longest without freaking out.
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At some point - maybe when I'm older and not scrambling to get dinner on the table for the kidz - I will invite them in for an intense theological discussion. If I could ever flip a missionary to the dark side of non belief I would be very proud. If I fail, then, at least, they got in some good role playing to sharpen the sales pitch.
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I can verify this. I did some door to door work as a young man in Bible school and also on the street and at concerts.PurpleThrobber said:Those Mormon motherfuckers make relentless sales guys later in life. They DNGAF about taking "No's".
You have people that already bought Jesus and don't want yours and people that know everything your going to say and not only aren't interested, they can get pretty salty about you bugging them.
You get a thick skin and you can sell anything to anyone.
I don't answer the door but I will give a nod and a wave when we pass on the street. I know most people are telling them to fuck off -
To get them off my property when I see them approaching - I go out in the field with the goats, drop my drawers and start
fuckingchasing the goats, they usually run. the goats not the mormons. -
I once invited a couple Mormon fellas inside. It was a hot day and I felt for the guys.
I had a couple people over and it were drinking some beers, grilling, and playing NCAA football. Of course we thought this was pretty funny. They laughed when the blunt came around to them.
I can’t remember if the Mormans ate or not. They stayed awhile though. I think they had a good time.
https://youtu.be/wZM64_RuJBA
