5 reasons Colorado wins tonight

1. Our OLB, Proverbs "Flamer" Wooching is the worst player on the field, enough said on that. He has more college games under his belt than I care to remember and will do something really stupid to celebrate in the offchance he accidentally does something good.

2. Their Offensive Line. It doesn't matter what they weigh because if there is a path between Psalm Wooching and Sofa Loveseat the OL will be in the way. With his stick arms he couldn't get past the block from a kicker.

3. Our DC Kawasaki. He keeps playing this dreckfest of a linebacker and nothing is changing that. We will see nothing changed between Wooching of all season and Wooching of tonight.

4. Speed, speed, speed. Wooching will run straight past anyone he is trying to tackle, and we'll pretend that's because of speed. He brings something we haven't seen all season from the rest of the team - play like a newbie.

5. Time of possession. Jonathan Smith will call passes like a fucking retard, especially deep under thrown balls which will get picked off constantly and give the Colorado a lot of time on offense. Anything we can do to keep Wooching on the field increases our chance of a loss.

I see Colorado winning this one rather easily, say 341-7.