Why Your Team Sucks: 2016 Seahawks edition
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I see @DerekJohnson is just as humorless as ever
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I'm such a drag to be aroundTierbsHsotBoobs said:I see @DerekJohnson is just as humorless as ever
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If Seahawk fans were Christians, “12's” would be Westboro Baptists.
Take the Superfan “Seahulk” for an example. He went super broke from going to all the games, and has been begging for money outside the stadium and online. He even rented out his chest for a local electrical contractor to advertise on him. Seahawks, go back to being irrelevant and quit acting like a high schooler who finally had sex and makes sure everyone knows about it.
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The shit about Russell is spot on. If Tom Cruise was half black and played QB he would be Russell Wilson.
Last year, Wilson talked with ESPN about their relationship: “She’s everything you could ever want, honestly. Funny thing is, I told somebody that that’s the girl I wanted to be with before I ever met her. I told somebody, ‘I’m probably going to end up with Ciara.’”
Dude is a huge phony and would probably be my least favorite player in sports if he wasn't on the Seahawks. -
The NC State player that commented on Russ is a fucking moron. Yeah, it's really commendable to get rid of a great QB.
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All of the anti-12 comments from actual Seattle residents was a nice touch.
Especially the one about those mouth-breathers always starting the fucking Sea-Hawks! chant all over the place (baseball games, Light Rail trains, concerts, restaurants). Someone started one at a wedding I went to and outed the 10 biggest fucktards in the crowd.
I just rolled my eyes.
Anyone that actually grew up in Seattle gives zero fucks about the Seahawks relative to the other teams. Back in the day this was a UW football and Sonics town, with the magical '95 Mariners thrown in. Then there was the Thunderbirds and the Seahawks. They sucked. Nobody cared. Except blue collar lumberyard types from Kent or Lynnwood. I couldn't name more than 1 or 2 Seahawks before Holmgren came to town. -
Galloway! Frieze! Blades!ThomasFremont said:All of the anti-12 comments from actual Seattle residents was a nice touch.
Especially the one about those mouth-breathers always starting the fucking Sea-Hawks! chant all over the place (baseball games, Light Rail trains, concerts, restaurants). Someone started one at a wedding I went to and outed the 10 biggest fucktards in the crowd.
I just rolled my eyes.
Anyone that actually grew up in Seattle gives zero fucks about the Seahawks relative to the other teams. Back in the day this was a UW football and Sonics town, with the magical '95 Mariners thrown in. Then there was the Thunderbirds and the Seahawks. They sucked. Nobody cared. Except blue collar lumberyard types from Kent or Lynnwood. I couldn't name more than 1 or 2 Seahawks before Holmgren came to town. -
This from Brian:
I’ve lived in Seattle for 6 years now, the perfect amount of time to witness the sheer bandwagonry of this fan base. I’ll admit when I first arrived, I thought the 12th man was pretty neat and the stadium was pretty cool. But then I went and saw the Giants play a Matt Hassalbeck-less Seahawks team, and go up 28-0 before halftime. There were only Giants fans left in the building at that point. 12th Man my ass. It was a time of normalcy in the Emerald City and it was wonderful.
Then these assholes get a Super Bowl and it’s been horrifying ever since. I can’t walk five feet without seeing a stupid 12th man flag. Every Friday I’m subjected to “Blue Friday” at work where these people wear their jerseys to work. 50% of them can’t answer who was QB prior to Wilson (I actually conducted this test last week in prep for this article). These fans are so brutal they showed up to opening night for the Mariners, the first game for Cano, in SEAHAWKS JERSEYS and chanted their stupid SEA-HAWKS chant. Then Russell Wilson threw out the first pitch and the attendance level dropped. These fans are the NFL’s version of new money; loud, obnoxious, high on their own farts, and completely unprepared for dealing with their new found success.
Don’t buy the hype; only a fraction of this fanbase are true believers. The rest were a tipped ball away from buying Kaepernick jerseys.
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The Chuck Knox Hawks were a big dealThomasFremont said:All of the anti-12 comments from actual Seattle residents was a nice touch.
Especially the one about those mouth-breathers always starting the fucking Sea-Hawks! chant all over the place (baseball games, Light Rail trains, concerts, restaurants). Someone started one at a wedding I went to and outed the 10 biggest fucktards in the crowd.
I just rolled my eyes.
Anyone that actually grew up in Seattle gives zero fucks about the Seahawks relative to the other teams. Back in the day this was a UW football and Sonics town, with the magical '95 Mariners thrown in. Then there was the Thunderbirds and the Seahawks. They sucked. Nobody cared. Except blue collar lumberyard types from Kent or Lynnwood. I couldn't name more than 1 or 2 Seahawks before Holmgren came to town.
