But how is Ted Miller an FS sports journalist?

TTJ said:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=omhoUYoSDlM

Not a 4-point game.

pit (rip pit) classics thread; nb4 tl;dr just read the bold

saturday - i get back home at 10am, we have drinks and head to a sports bar to finish watching the tosu/purdue (one of bols' friends is a tosu fan) and the neb/TTU (another is a NEB fan) games, we have roadies in teh car, its hot as balls, we get to the bar, its nice, its open air with cheap drinks, we watch 5 different games enjoying $2 beverages and burritos, i feel good, i like uw's chances, not a care in the world, we walk to the stadium to tailgate, we drink we play cornhole, bols and i win our matchup, things are lookin up, i put two beers in my pocket and we walk into to the stadium, we're walking past where the visiting team runs out, the gates open, i see jake locker, i tell my group "im gonna go touch him" a police officer says get back, i ignore him, he grabs my wrist, i pull away and get right in his face and yell "get your fucking hands off me motherfucker!" my group goes dead quiet, everyone around us goes dead quiet, players are staring, i dont get to touch locker, he says "i can tell you been drinking but when i say get back its for your own safety" i remember the two beers in my pocket and wonder why he hasnt noticed them, i think i might get tazed, i dont, he lets me go, i didnt get to touch locker, we walk to an open area of seating and sit down, uw scores on their first posession, i need a drink, i walk to the concession stand and ask "how much for the plastic cup?" they say $4, what would you like in it? i say "nothing" they say "what do you mean?" i say "here's $4" and take the cup, go to fill the cup but notice i have one can of coors light and one bud light, i mix them, they're delicious, i sit back down, pound the beer as ASU scores to tie the game, i get bols' flask, i drink it all, its halftime and i want to try to get on the field, i spend all of halftime standing by the field entrance, ushers tell me to leave i ask "why?" because this is where the team runs out "i say oh" i see nick holt, i run up to him pat him on the back and tell him to kick some ass, he says ok, he isnt very tall, i call my mom to tell her this, she says "are you drunk?" i hang up, 2nd half starts and i feel good, fast forward to the end of the game and im pissed, asu scores the touchdown, i throw my hat, i somehow find my hat later, as soon as the locker pass is int'ed, i run for the player gate, i jump halfway up the fence and start screaming at holt, the players, and the athletic director, we head to the parking lot and im still screaming "$700k for that piece of shit" asu fans arent sure whats going on, my friends are laughing, we're walking out and boly says, "holy shit, its lincoln kennedy" i yell "hey link!" he turns i walk up "can you fucking believe that? fuck holt, he can choke on a dick, amirite?" he laughs, says its a rookie mistake he tells me he sells insurance, nobody has a camera, we walk back to the tailgate. i drink some more, somehow we end up at a bar on mill, there are two lines, one for vip one for regulars, there's nobody in the vip so i walk up to that bouncer says "im not letting you in" i go "why the fuck not?" "youre drunk" "the hell i am" my friends start to pull me back, more bouncers show up "gimme a fuckin breathalizer if you think im drunk" they dont, we leave, head to another bar, i have a beer in my hand, i say fuck holt and throw it to the ground i also say "i dont give a shit about the carolina job," my friends decide to leave, we head to a fatburger, they let us in there, we eat cheeseburgers and i wake up the next day on a fully deflated air mattress at my friends house.