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Drunken Cry for help: About to go on a date with a former lesbian

Doogles
Doogles Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 12,726 Founders Club
edited July 2015 in Tug Tavern
The title says it all. I just passed out for 3 hours in my local bars parking lot, skipped over to ross and bought a serviceable button up, and am about to meet a girl who used to munch rug for a living at smugglers cove (which is one of the top 100 bars in the world according to some hype mag). I'm still blasted from the day. How do I swindle a 3some while only able to articulate 2 syllable words MAX?
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Comments

  • Dick_B
    Dick_B Member Posts: 1,301
    RaceBannon said:

    Rules for life

    The less you say the smarter people think you are

    which explains your rep........
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  • TierbsHsotBoobs
    TierbsHsotBoobs Member Posts: 39,680
    Doogles said:

    The title says it all. I just passed out for 3 hours in my local bars parking lot, skipped over to ross and bought a serviceable button up, and am about to meet a girl who used to munch rug for a living at smugglers cove (which is one of the top 100 bars in the world according to some hype mag). I'm still blasted from the day. How do I swindle a 3some while only able to articulate 2 syllable words MAX?

    Flagged because I don't have the authority to delete this bullshit post that does not include pictures.
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  • Fenwick
    Fenwick Member Posts: 1,174
    For me it was the best lay I ever had. For you I have severe doubts.
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  • BallSacked
    BallSacked Member Posts: 3,279
    edited July 2015
    image

    Applies to 81% of Doogles posts.
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  • RoadDawg55
    RoadDawg55 Member Posts: 30,127
    edited July 2015
    Doogles said:

    The title says it all. I just passed out for 3 hours in my local bars parking lot, skipped over to ross and bought a serviceable button up, and am about to meet a girl who used to munch rug for a living at smugglers cove (which is one of the top 100 bars in the world according to some hype mag). I'm still blasted from the day. How do I swindle a 3some while only able to articulate 2 syllable words MAX?

    I'll take this at face value and say get some blow. Don't get a ball and crack out, just get a gram and take a few bumps as needed to sober you up.
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  • Swaye
    Swaye Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 41,738 Founders Club
    Well, did you bang her?
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  • 2001400ex
    2001400ex Member Posts: 29,457
    Here's a cool story, bro. My buddy has a 22 year old daughter, who already has a child. She's smoking hot, tig ole bitties, a hair chunky but nothing a few weeks in the gym wouldn't fix. She's living with this lesbian who's kinda converting her, which bothers the shit out of my buddy. He's not into gay people in any way. He's been telling me for a year that her friend is ugly, saying he'd be fine if she was with a hot lesbian, so I'd been picturing something like what CFetters posted. I finally met her last weekend and she's actually pretty hot herself. She was wearing boy shorts and a dudes button up shirt. But shit, put a dress on her and she be hot.
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  • PurpleThrobber
    PurpleThrobber Member Posts: 48,025
    Someone keeps score in this shithole?!?

    Who knew?
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  • CFetters_Nacho_Lover
    CFetters_Nacho_Lover Moderator, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 32,241 Founders Club
    GrundleStiltzkin said:

    Forgot one
    Janet Reno LOL photo JanetRenoLOL.jpg

    Didn't forget it, just didn't wanna share it.
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  • PurpleJ
    PurpleJ Member Posts: 37,643 Founders Club
    allpurpleallgold said:

    You're drunk and have probably already fucked it up by now. But for future reference, don't bring up the threesome. Every dumb fuck guy she's ever known has tried that.

    You'll overestimate how clever you are and think you can make it funny but real. You'll sound like a dumbass. Just like every other dumb ass before you.

    If you want a threesome so bad then pay for it. Stop bothering this poor girl.

    Don't listen to APAG. Ask her anyways.
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  • Fire_Marshall_Bill
    Fire_Marshall_Bill Member Posts: 25,593 Standard Supporter
    PurpleThrobber said:

    Someone keeps score in this shithole?!?

    Who knew?

    Yes

    Internet popularity contests rule!
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  • PurpleThrobber
    PurpleThrobber Member Posts: 48,025
    Fire_Marshall_Bill said:

    PurpleThrobber said:

    Someone keeps score in this shithole?!?

    Who knew?

    Yes

    Internet popularity contests rule!
    Go Cuogs!
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  • whatshouldicareabout
    whatshouldicareabout Member Posts: 12,990
    Can someone post this exact same OP on Doogman, asking the LPT for dating advice?
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  • Doogles
    Doogles Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 12,726 Founders Club
    whatshouldicareabout said:

    Can someone post this exact same OP on Doogman, asking the LPT for dating advice?

    I would if I wasn't completely ban hammered. Smugglers cove is overrated, pretentious tiki bar that takes itself too seriously. Decent enough, but no way is that a top 100 bar in the world. 15 bucks a cocktail, get the fuck out.

    Got a little sloppy and failed to seal the deal post make out. She wants to meet up again, so that's working for me. Then again I paid for everything so that is probably playing a role as well.
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