Which one of you fucks is "bestdog"?

I’ve had a few friends with huskies. They struggle even in this mild climate, India sounds like an awful place for them. I’m not saying it’s not an awful place for everyone, but for a dog like that it’s especially cruel.

A dude that I haven’t seen for years, I assume he has since died crab fishing, lived in a shoebox in downtown Portland. His apartment had shitty AC (for my Indian readers ‘shitty’ in this context is a slang adjective meaning bad) and on a 95 degree (35 centigrade, comfortable for you or for desert wanderers like myself but dangerous to pasty Americans) day we had to buy 120 pounds of ice and fill the bathtub with it for that good girl.

As far as Indian imports, I dated a girl that was adopted from there. She was kind of a psychopath. She stole the hot sauce from almost every place we went out to eat at. Drenched all her food in it, made it inedible. That wasn’t the psychopathic part, filling her mouth with hot sauce and getting my sleeping member in there was the psychopathy. Not a good way to wake up. You ever stick your burning dick in a glass of milk, @bestdog ? I usually wouldn’t recommend it, but if you’re making a dog’s life miserable I can tell you the specific brand of hot sauce.

If you are interested in a more appropriate pet for your climate region I do have a cat I will pay you to take. He does not like to be pet by anyone except for me, you could say he’s untouchable. He’s a fixed male, eats only the most expensive wet food and treats, wakes you up at 6AM - but only on days you didn’t need to wake up at 6AM. He already prefers to poop outside so India seems like a good fit, but you do have to take him for walks at inconvenient times and your neighbors will think you’re a weirdo who walks his cat at midnight instead of earlier like a normal person. Cat will scratch everything except for the items specifically bought for him to scratch, his preference is custom ordered couches but will settle for new carpet or Italian suede shoes. His skills include tricking your significant other into thinking he is not an ancient demon in the body of a cat, and keeping his hair balls confined to carpeted areas - even if it means sprinting through a lot of hardwood to cough it up there.

I will sponsor your H-2B visa if you are able to facilitate his move to India and set him up with a nice family that you hate. I will require monthly picture updates with a cute, Disney-esque background. Background should be more like happy Bollywood and not sad Slumdog Millionaire. See example mock-up below. Please make sure background also includes scratched up couch and/or high quality footwear so my girlfriend knows it’s really him and me saying the cat went on a spiritual retreat to India is not a lie.

dnc said:

Ice_Holmvik said:

Should have went with @besthog

Lot of Muslims in India, people forget that

I don't, because I walked through a Muslim Temple in India. Where it was 100% of people Muslim and everyone praying to Allah and in awe of the temple. They come from all over India to visit that Temple, it's a big deal to them and we had a crazy trek just to get there, we swapped vehicles like 3 times. We had to take off our shoes as pay someone 100 rupees to watch them (like $2 at the time). We also walked around the area some in the process. Would you rather walk around there or stroll through some neighborhoods in South Central LA?