Howdy, Stranger!

It looks like you're new here. Sign in or register to get started.

Welcome to the Hardcore Husky Forums. Folks who are well-known in Cyberland and not that dumb.

Academis questions for Creep

1456810

Comments

  • whlinderwhlinder Member Posts: 5,162 Standard Supporter

    I’ve found that to be a huge barrier in my career. I’m trying to work on it. I’m also shit at negotiating / promoting *myself*, which is another thing lots of women struggle with. You have to be your own advocate.
    My two female coworkers who are super smart and I could not be successful without has framed it as "only going for jobs/salaries she thinks she deserves, not ones she wants". While men go for what they want. I've had to push them and promote them and reframe so much of it as, look, so and so dumbass is at that level, you are definitely better than him/her, stop being afraid of going for it.

    I actually see more confidence in this area in younger female hires... not sure what changed in the way women were treated or educated. The ones born in the early 90s have so much more work confidence than women born in the 70s.
  • whlinderwhlinder Member Posts: 5,162 Standard Supporter
    The math stuff for women is interesting, I will have to watch my daughter, she has managed to keep pushing forward with math (now a 10th grader) but she didn't pick the hardest possible class for this year and as a result can only take AP Calc AB next year. She's targeting AP Statistics as a senior... I think she likes math and it is one of her better subjects but doesn't really show interest in STEM right now. She thinks she wants to be a sports writer or journalist. Sigh. Maybe she will become a technically gifted writer (she actually likes it so much right now that she started her own blog). I've at least been able to push the statistics on sports on her as proof she has to stay on the math path.
  • Pitchfork51Pitchfork51 Member Posts: 27,427

    You do. There is a subtle art to it. As with many things, it isn't a strength for me either. In women, I have found it to be more of black and white thing (generalizing massively here). Those who are bent on doing it often come off like it's over-the-top. But then again, would I perceive it that way if a man were doing exactly the same thing? I often think that Hilary gets a little of her shit because she's a woman ... said another way, would she we quite as despised if she were a man with the exact same behavior and personality? And then, there are those who just suffer in obscurity and work their asses off and are taken for granted.

    It's quite a thing you're talking about here. It's real. I see it, and because I have girls, I pay attention to it and have tried to be empathetic and help where I can. My view is that if you can the work you should be treated accordingly.

    Also, big of you to be aware of it, own it and work on it.

    My unsolicited advice? Find a good mentor ... man or woman, who will champion you. If you have the resources, or if your company HR will pay for it, consider an executive coach. This will be a PhD in psychology who has organizational behavior expertise. Changed my life. Makes you see all kinds of things about yourself and you learn how others see you. Very important. PM me and I can give you a reference if you are interested. They're not cheap; but they're cheaper than lawyers.
    The problem is that women who act like dudes are unattractive
  • PurpleThrobberPurpleThrobber Member Posts: 46,848 Standard Supporter
    edited January 2021
    FireCohen said:

    If they don’t have daddy issues and stay off the pole. You deserve a medal sir
    GO CUOGS!!!!
  • PurpleThrobberPurpleThrobber Member Posts: 46,848 Standard Supporter

    The problem is that women who act like dudes are unattractive
    @MariaTaylorDawg, true?

  • Pitchfork51Pitchfork51 Member Posts: 27,427

    @MariaTaylorDawg, true?

    J?
  • Fishpo31Fishpo31 Member Posts: 2,568

    The problem is that women who act like dudes are unattractive
    You nailed it...Men who are demanding, intense, in-your-face, are considered “leaders”, women who do the same, even on smaller levels, are “bitches”...
  • FireCohenFireCohen Member Posts: 21,823

    The problem is that women who act like dudes are unattractive
    Dude hope Solo
  • Pitchfork51Pitchfork51 Member Posts: 27,427
    edited January 2021
    Fishpo31 said:

    You nailed it...Men who are demanding, intense, in-your-face, are considered “leaders”, women who do the same, even on smaller levels, are “bitches”...
    Well yeah. Its very off putting and unfeminine. Feminine chicks are attractive.

    But no I think most of those guys are just considered annoying.
  • HHuskyHHusky Member Posts: 22,807

    Is Willamtte any good academically? I tend to be anti private school unless it’s elite enough to merit the cost.
    I sent two to public schools and one to Willamette. My bias is public as well, but I ended up being pretty impressed with Willamette. (Some of my best friends went to Whitman, but honestly, that school felt like a cult to me as a touring parent.)
  • creepycougcreepycoug Member Posts: 23,863
    edited January 2021
    HHusky said:

    I sent two to public schools and one to Willamette. My bias is public as well, but I ended up being pretty impressed with Willamette. (Some of my best friends went to Whitman, but honestly, that school felt like a cult to me as a touring parent.)
    Whitman is definitely its own center of gravity and the kids who go there are of a type. Willamette, I would expect, is going to have a bit more of a well rounded student body. The kids at Whitman will show a lot of intellectualism and also a lot of quirky. My youngest was recruited there for soccer, and it was one of the early schools so we showed enthusiasm, but as other coaches started expressing interest it was easier for us to see the things that made it not a great fit for her.
  • Pitchfork51Pitchfork51 Member Posts: 27,427
    I enjoy hearing about all this stuff. I had super good grades and people were a bit confused I didn't try to get in to top schools. But I got paid to go to school, no debt, raged hard, and started making pretty good money right out of school so I don't really regret it.

    Thing was I didn't really know what I wanted to do so I figured it was wise to have no debt and then figure it out from there.

    Luckily I found my passion so I feel pretty good about the future but if I could do it all over again I would have tried to get into a top school for engineering.

    That just wasn't even on my radar back then though.

    I think doing some high level sales is good for everyone in that you get to get some pretty good insight into business at an earlier age and you aren't super intimidated by owners and higher level people.

    Course then I lost all my money going out on my own but I learned some shit and it's pretty easy to spin in an interview lol.
  • creepycougcreepycoug Member Posts: 23,863

    I enjoy hearing about all this stuff. I had super good grades and people were a bit confused I didn't try to get in to top schools. But I got paid to go to school, no debt, raged hard, and started making pretty good money right out of school so I don't really regret it.

    Thing was I didn't really know what I wanted to do so I figured it was wise to have no debt and then figure it out from there.

    Luckily I found my passion so I feel pretty good about the future but if I could do it all over again I would have tried to get into a top school for engineering.

    That just wasn't even on my radar back then though.

    I think doing some high level sales is good for everyone in that you get to get some pretty good insight into business at an earlier age and you aren't super intimidated by owners and higher level people.

    Course then I lost all my money going out on my own but I learned some shit and it's pretty easy to spin in an interview lol.

    That's good perspective. Your undergrad really stops mattering after a short period of time. Also, I'm not convinced that there is that much of a difference in any event. Sure, if you're at MIT you're going to notice everybody is really fucking quant. If you're at Boston College, are you really going to notice a huge difference between those kids and the kids at Penn State? ASU? Florida State?

    Probably not.
  • creepycougcreepycoug Member Posts: 23,863
    edited January 2021

    I enjoy hearing about all this stuff. I had super good grades and people were a bit confused I didn't try to get in to top schools. But I got paid to go to school, no debt, raged hard, and started making pretty good money right out of school so I don't really regret it.

    Thing was I didn't really know what I wanted to do so I figured it was wise to have no debt and then figure it out from there.

    Luckily I found my passion so I feel pretty good about the future but if I could do it all over again I would have tried to get into a top school for engineering.

    That just wasn't even on my radar back then though.

    I think doing some high level sales is good for everyone in that you get to get some pretty good insight into business at an earlier age and you aren't super intimidated by owners and higher level people.

    Course then I lost all my money going out on my own but I learned some shit and it's pretty easy to spin in an interview lol.

    Nice thing about sales. You learn early what it's all about. You don't need to go through climbing the ladder trying to master the glad handing and politics. Sales is refreshingly simple: you produce, we love you. You don't, we don't, no matter how good you are at the game.
  • TheRoarOfTheCrowdTheRoarOfTheCrowd Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 1,730 Founders Club
    edited January 2021

    @creepycoug how do I keep my sons from becoming lowly quooks or boovs?

    @YellowSnow Well I have some advice ~ the same advice that my dad gave me when I was about 13.

    If you like it, have fun with this, you are just the guy to deliver this kind of message. Your kids might even eventually believe you. They will certainly remember that you believed in them enough to say it. Kiss.

    Here is what he said, don't exactly remember how it came up but i was being bushwacked with a time released capsule of information that i would not understand until later ~ which was the style that both of my parents employed frequently throughout my childhood. I was repeatedly abused in exactly that fashion.

    His words were, if you want to be successful in life all that you have to do is to be the very best at what you do.

    My response was thank you so much dad... jeasze sounds simple enough. [I was thinking WTF? why tell me that its impossible to really be successful? Doesn't he realize how competitive jr high is much less life in general?]

    This was a bear trap. He continued unruffled by my lack of immediate inspiration.

    He proceeded to say: I don't mean be good at what you do, i mean be the very best. He emphasizes: Be number 1. And he says, there is a difference. What it takes to be number one is much different than what it takes to be "good at what you do". Remember that he says.

    I'm thinking great, more fucking awesome advice. Yow.

    So he continues: I will tell you what this means... don't waste your time on stuff that you are moderately interested in.

    Don't try to be good at stuff that you don't care about unless it is for amusement purposes. Identify your best skills and interests and build on exactly those those skills and experiences.

    Assuming that you actually have the ethic and intention to only focus on what you are really interested in and build on the skills that you are really good at; and that you never [fucking] quit; and that you continue to work at it with all of your power until you are long since the last man standing ~ you actually will be the best at what you do.

    He finishes with: everyone will have quit long before you, and the simple part is that if you are the best at what you are do ~ there is simply no competition, and your life turns into what you dream of.

    There is one more aspect to this which is very important: concentrate your efforts on blue water adventures: Do things that have never been done before.
  • creepycougcreepycoug Member Posts: 23,863

    @YellowSnow Well I have some advice ~ the same advice that my dad gave me when I was about 13.

    If you like it, have fun with this, you are just the guy to deliver this kind of message. Your kids might even eventually believe you. They will certainly remember that you believed in them enough to say it. Kiss.

    Here is what he said, don't exactly remember how it came up but i was being bushwacked with a time released capsule of information that i would not understand until later ~ which was the style that both of my parents employed frequently throughout my childhood. I was repeatedly abused in exactly that fashion.

    His words were, if you want to be successful in life all that you have to do is to be the very best at what you do.

    My response was thank you so much dad... jeasze sounds simple enough. [I was thinking WTF? why tell me that its impossible to really be successful? Doesn't he realize how competitive jr high is much less life in general?]

    This was a bear trap. He continued unruffled by my lack of immediate inspiration.

    He proceeded to say: I don't mean be good at what you do, i mean be the very best. He emphasizes: Be number 1. And he says, there is a difference. What it takes to be number one is much different than what it takes to be "good at what you do". Remember that he says.

    I'm thinking great, more fucking awesome advice. Yow.

    So he continues: I will tell you what this means... don't waste your time on stuff that you are moderately interested in.

    Don't try to be good at stuff that you don't care about unless it is for amusement purposes. Identify your best skills and interests and build on exactly those those skills and experiences.

    Assuming that you actually have the ethic and intention to only focus on what you are really interested in and build on the skills that you are really good at; and that you never [fucking] quit; and that you continue to work at it with all of your power until you are long since the last man standing ~ you actually will be the best at what you do.

    He finishes with: everyone will have quit long before you, and the simple part is that if you are the best at what you are do ~ there is simply no competition, and your life turns into what you dream of.

    There is one more aspect to this which is very important: concentrate your efforts on blue water adventures: Do things that have never been done before.
    Sage advice, but.a tall order. I wonder ... how many of us actually did this? Did you?
  • TheRoarOfTheCrowdTheRoarOfTheCrowd Member, Swaye's Wigwam Posts: 1,730 Founders Club
    edited January 2021
    I actually did take his advice over time without really realizing it and had good success. And yes, i did achieved number 1 status.

    That isn't what is really important however, what is important is the mind set of how to be a winner ~ that means developing the killer desire to achieve, and that means the effort of continuing on when all others have quit and or failed ~ and then that is the beginning of continuing on until you have become the best.

    Row boy is going to understand that which is why I added this response to his question.
Sign In or Register to comment.