Pole Tim: You're highest level of football played
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Janet Reno
I ❤️ The Generation Kill gif.GrundleStiltzkin said: -
High School
Of the Coney Island Chinese Bandits?DerekJohnson said:My dad went to UW, and played intramural football. He was quarterback of the "Chinese Bandits", throwing passes to Dave Torrell. True story.
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High School
Tyler Huntley was your QB?backthepack said: -
High School
I wish. I probably would have avoided CTE.CFetters_Nacho_Lover said: -
High School
Cool fucking story.whlinder said:I "played" for a certain little high school which was quite the experience. And by little I mean it was and still is the largest high school in the state of Virginia. 25 years after the season which inspired Disney to make a different-racial-backgrounds-coming-together-to-win-title feel good movie, the school was significantly more diverse. And there were no Gerry Bertiers walking through that door; we had around 10 white doods on the team and we all sucked.
Rolling in as a 6'3" 145lb Freshman trying to play QB because you think you can read a defense, throw an ok football and aren't fast went amazingly well for a team trying to run the triple option. But my try hard slow strategy ass did so, no matter how many times I got blown up in practice. Try hard slow strategy gonna try hard slow strategy, so I was the punter and holder in addition to being a back up QB on the freshman team. And sometimes did kickoffs.
Bulked up to 190 and grew to 6'5" and kept on being backup QB but since the triple option was not going away I added TE and DE to my try-hardness since playing football is fun. That kept me around for the next 2 years before I got tired of knee injuries. I joined the debate team instead and was much more successful there.
Real life Bill Yoast could not coach me into a decent QB; real life Herman Boone didn't teach me shit about how to drive a car from his drivers ed class and real life Petey was an amazing equipment manager and hall monitor. I am forever grateful to Petey for getting me extra rib pads so I could keep getting destroyed with my 5.0 40 speed without dying. -
High School
My dad was a high school quarterback and had a really good arm. Was also one of these asshole dads--in a good way in this case--who would laser footballs with all his strength at his 7 year old son. When I was in elementary school, I was a schoolyard legend. Faster than anybody else by a good ways and could catch anything because of my dads' abuse. It was a total Sandlot story: Every lunch recess, the rich kids on the actual peewee football team would play me and my unathletic ragtag group of friends in a game of touch (when the duties weren't looking). We would absolutely destroy them every day.GrundleStiltzkin said:Real talk, I really love all the stories. More please.
Thought I was hot shit, so I got signed up for REAL football when I was 10. At equipment handout, I was near the back of the line, being a new player. They handed me this helmet that was like a novelty thing you'd wear to a game if you're a 12: rubber disc floating below the shell, suspended by little ropes. About as protective as fuckall. I know @RaceBannon and @PurpleThrobber wore leather helmets with no facemasks and probably think I'm a pussy for this, but nothing about that helmet gave me confidence to be anywhere near a collision. I spent that year absolutely terrified, getting constantly blown up, and getting a mild concussion every time a strong wind hit me in the head. I learned that real football is very different than schoolyard football, and there was this thing called "hitting" I'd have to learn to deal with.
Or quit. So I did. At which point my dad said, "Over my dead body is my son going to be a pussy quitter." So I went at it again the following year.
Very early on that second year--now sporting a helmet that featured actual protection--I accidentally made a discovery early on: Peewee football is a game of chicken. Size is almost meaningless, and you can dominate by just being the kid that doesn't flinch. 99% of collisions in peewee football, one of the kids flinches first. If that's the bigger kid, he's about to get knocked on his ass my my tiny self. And so it came to pass: another try-hard was born. For the next seven years, I was always one of the two or three smallest kids on my team, yet positions I started at included nosetackle, OG, DE.
Freshman year, kids still hadn't figured it out. I was 5'3", 120 lbs., and stupid kids on the freshman team still feared me in hitting drills because they didn't understand physics. Except every once in a while, when a kid--usually on the other team--didn't flinch. Freshman year was the beginning of physics getting involved. The Jake Browning helicopter shot? That was me once or twice. I actually played quarterback because we didn't have anyone on the team who could throw. So we just ran triple option, and I was never asked to throw the ball more than 10 yards downfield (extent of my range). I couldn't wrap my hand around the ball, so I'd drop back to pass with the ball just up on my hand like a shot put. Pathetic. Anyway, a 120 pound try-hard QB can be helicoptered quite easily when pitching at the last second, so it was kind of a thing. Fun film reviews...
Getting back to the point, every time I got completely destroyed in my entire football "career," it was from going full-try-hard and launching right into somebody twice my size on purpose just to make a point or something. We had a receiver who later played at Eastern. We collided at full speed in practice just for fun on a broken play. He laughed, I walked a 10-yard radius picking up every piece of my helmet. In a game my junior year, I had to miss several plays while my facemask was reattached to the helmet shell, as half of the plastic clamps ripped right off. When I was 13 and Amon Gordon was 11 and playing on my team because he was so huge, I decided to give him all I had in practice and picked myself up in the next town over.
When you walk your dog, you're invariably going to come across somebody walking a little terrier or something, and that terrier will inevitably think it's the biggest badass on the whole trail and puff up and attack your dog 10 times its size while you laugh at it in pity. That terrier was sooooo me.
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High School
You gave yourself voluntary CTE just to prove a point? I respect it.1to392831weretaken said:
Thought I was hot shit, so I got signed up for REAL football when I was 10. At equipment handout, I was near the back of the line, being a new player. They handed me this helmet that was like a novelty thing you'd wear to a game if you're a 12: rubber disc floating below the shell, suspended by little ropes. About as protective as fuckall. I know @RaceBannon and @PurpleThrobber wore leather helmets with no facemasks and probably think I'm a pussy for this, but nothing about that helmet gave me confidence to be anywhere near a collision. I spent that year absolutely terrified, getting constantly blown up, and getting a mild concussion every time a strong wind hit me in the head. I learned that real football is very different than schoolyard football, and there was this thing called "hitting" I'd have to learn to deal with.
Or quit. So I did. At which point my dad said, "Over my dead body is my son going to be a pussy quitter." So I went at it again the following year.
Very early on that second year--now sporting a helmet that featured actual protection--I accidentally made a discovery early on: Peewee football is a game of chicken. Size is almost meaningless, and you can dominate by just being the kid that doesn't flinch. 99% of collisions in peewee football, one of the kids flinches first. If that's the bigger kid, he's about to get knocked on his ass my my tiny self. And so it came to pass: another try-hard was born. For the next seven years, I was always one of the two or three smallest kids on my team, yet positions I started at included nosetackle, OG, DE.
Freshman year, kids still hadn't figured it out. I was 5'3", 120 lbs., and stupid kids on the freshman team still feared me in hitting drills because they didn't understand physics. Except every once in a while, when a kid--usually on the other team--didn't flinch. Freshman year was the beginning of physics getting involved. The Jake Browning helicopter shot? That was me once or twice. I actually played quarterback because we didn't have anyone on the team who could throw. So we just ran triple option, and I was never asked to throw the ball more than 10 yards downfield (extent of my range). I couldn't wrap my hand around the ball, so I'd drop back to pass with the ball just up on my hand like a shot put. Pathetic. Anyway, a 120 pound try-hard QB can be helicoptered quite easily when pitching at the last second, so it was kind of a thing. Fun film reviews...
Getting back to the point, every time I got completely destroyed in my entire football "career," it was from going full-try-hard and launching right into somebody twice my size on purpose just to make a point or something. We had a receiver who later played at Eastern. We collided at full speed in practice just for fun on a broken play. He laughed, I walked a 10-yard radius picking up every piece of my helmet. In a game my junior year, I had to miss several plays while my facemask was reattached to the helmet shell, as half of the plastic clamps ripped right off. When I was 13 and Amon Gordon was 11 and playing on my team because he was so huge, I decided to give him all I had in practice and picked myself up in the next town over.
When you walk your dog, you're invariably going to come across somebody walking a little terrier or something, and that terrier will inevitably think it's the biggest badass on the whole trail and puff up and attack your dog 10 times its size while you laugh at it in pity. That terrier was sooooo me.
/csb? -
High SchoolMade me think back to "Grid Kids", the best player in our league was a midget...he was shaving in 3rd grade, faster than lightning, had biceps, not expected to live much past 20...he was a legend. Played baseball with him in PONY league, every game the coach would yell "watch the bunt", they would play way in, and he would light up the third baseman, or smoke it over the outfielders...great dude, he's still kicking...
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Pro
You played with Kelly Leak?Fishpo31 said:Made me think back to "Grid Kids", the best player in our league was a midget...he was shaving in 3rd grade, faster than lightning, had biceps, not expected to live much past 20...he was a legend. Played baseball with him in PONY league, every game the coach would yell "watch the bunt", they would play way in, and he would light up the third baseman, or smoke it over the outfielders...great dude, he's still kicking...
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High School
He was the original...wouldn't shave late in the week to make liquor store runs...A lasting memory is him taking rips on a 3 foot bong...no one would lend a "hand", and he took his shoe off and used his big toe...csbSwaye said:
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High SchoolOoo, ooo, ooo, one more that just came to me: The one day I was a "big time college football recruit."
Back then, I was completely unaware of the whole TBSing industry. Our small time coaches didn't know shit about it either and did nothing to promote their players. I got a few letters from small schools like UPS and whatnot because of our team camping there, but by my junior year I was already four knee surgeries in and still hadn't experienced that late 6" growth spurt, so I knew being Al Bundy was the pinnacle I could hope for.
But a couple of guys were being recruited and were invited to the northwest big time recruiting camp at some high school field near Seattle. Can't remember which. One of these guys was a linebacker who was going to be a junior. Lambo wanted him, but Rick didn't, so he ended up at Idaho. The other was the receiver in my class who ended up at Eastern.
A group of our core players decided to roll down with these two in support and watch the camp, as we had no idea what it would be all about. My dad had a big 15 passenger van, so we rolled down as a pretty decent sized group, myself and the three other senior captains, the junior linebacker, and the incoming sophomore Amon, who hadn't left the team yet. On the way, we stopped at a gas station and picked up big boxes of gas station fried chicken, little chocolate donuts (Belushi breakfast of champs), and Gatorades. I pigged the fuck out, eating the whole box of donuts and a couple pieces of chicken, as it's not like I needed to run a 40 anytime soon.
WRONG.
We got there and hung out with our invited buddies in line, got to the front, and the lady at the table tossed us all T-shirts and said, "Okay, sign in."
Ho. Lee. Shit. I was going to be working out in front of coaches from every school in the PAC-10! With nine pounds of chicken and little chocolate donuts in my stomach! And a size-XXXT-shirtdrag racing parachute, as that's all they had!
I ran the slowest 40 of my life, as if I were being pulled back from my belt the whole way. I caught more than I dropped in receiver drills. I vaguely recall a decent 3-cone time. Bench press has always been my weakest lift, so I think I managed to get up 225... none times. On the bright side, top-10 in the whole camp with vertical jump (I think it was 34", tied with another of my uninvited teammates).
Suffice it to say, no big time scholarship offers came out of it, but a free novelty T-shirt and a lot of self-deprecating laughs were had.
Funniest part was Amon. He wasn't even a sophomore yet, so coaches weren't supposed to contact him. Watching that dynamic was interesting. He was THE most popular guy at the combine with all of the coaches. They all knew exactly who he was, and they all found ways to accidentally bump into him and chat.
Good Tims. -
Janet Reno
@Tequilla, True?!backthepack said: -
Janet Reno
Funny enough, many of the sexual favors involved a shithole. The circle of life bruh.Swaye said:
Also, thank you!
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None, I am coward
Teyo (sp?) Johnson?1to392831weretaken said:Co-captain of a middling team in a non-football conference (WESCO 4A) in a non-football state. By virtue of being one of four seniors on the team... Right before the season started, our star player's (Stanford/Baltimore Ravens) mom was given a job by another school, so I suddenly had to fill his shoes at both positions. We had--no shit--13 full time varsity players, then a huge cliff down to the JV, so everyone played both ways and special teams except for the QB. In retrospect, I can't believe we were able to win any games at all.
My favorite part about TSIO is the coining of the phrase "try-hard," as you could not better describe me in high school. Every time I heard that on the pod, I'd chuckle and picture myself in high school: gym rat, real coach on the field, zero physical talent. We went from NFL guy at fullback/WIL linebacker to all 5'8" 160 lbs. of me! Fucking rad. I led the team in carries on offense and scored two TDs all season. 'Nuff said, FMFYFE.
Edit: guessed wrong. I have no patience to read 6 pages before replying. -
None, I am coward
Was gonna say the same. 5'10" and maybe 145 lbs for me by the end of high school. Could not put on any muscle until my mid-20's.UW_Doog_Bot said:I think I graduated high school 135lbs.
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High School
We are recruiting a 2022 DL out of Duncanville who is a top 25 player and he actually likes us. Can Uncle Swaye pull a Nevin Shapiro?Swaye said:So I went to a really big tim football school in Texas (played for the State 5A Championship last year and were always at least solid going back decades). I think pictures always speak a thousand words, so I'll just show a random picture of the team and you can draw your own conclusions as to what the coaches thought when a skinny 115 pound dipshit half breed showed up for tryouts. Getting shitcanned not only probably saved my life, but also allowed me to find my true love, competitive weed smoking. State Champion 1986-1989 and this is undisputed.
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Janet RenoIntramural flag football during my one aborted year at SPU, then occasionally throughout the span of my career in the Air Force.
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Fantasy Pro
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Pro6x Superbowl champ
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High SchoolYou lying fuck J...
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Janet Reno
GRONK?????PurpleJ said:6x Superbowl champ
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Pro
Kiss the rings bitch.PurpleBaze said:You lying fuck J...
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Middle School
Fixed that for you, podbackthepack said: