I would like to introduce y’all to a new theory on Polynesians. It can supplement the Ballz theory of hereditary and imminent increase in mass due to fully expressive genetic phenotypes carried by the Polynesian community, better known as Too Fat Theory.
I present to you the Polynesian herd hypothesis of noted Miami anthropoologist Poonose:
You have to be the biggest quook of all time. Asbergers level quook. Do you have any idea how many recruits are listed at positions by recruiting sites like 247 that they don't actually end up playing in college? You're a fucking idiot. There are zero 270 pound inside linebackers in college. Zero. And he's not done growing yet. You can't stop genetics you idiot. As long as he trains and lifts weights he's gonna easily outgrow ILB retard. He's fucking Poly. It's on his genetics. It's fucking obvious. He's a short, DT with short arms who will have to win with leverage and quickness. Elijah Qualls.
The delusions of Miami fans are pretty entertaining. Some are growing concerned with every coordinator turning down Mario. Or McClendon possibly flying the coop. But most of them think think he’s Doc Brown and he’s taking them 30 years into the past.
They are gonna be in for a world of disappointment when they realize what they got themselves into. They think that fatty is Penei Sewell. The Miami write up had him saying he chose them over the other team pursuing him, which was Washington lol.
Luckily for Mario he’s a better CEO than Willie, and Manny didn’t torch the place on his way out like that cuck Jimbo. So he might make it to year four there before Miami realizes it’s gonna remain a nobody forever.
Mario is meticulous, trust the process! Every Miami fan right now. Obviously the word is out amongst coordinators that Meat controls everything.
Wait until they’re facing 3rd and 3 against Clempson and Meat wants to show Dabo how tuff his OL is and a fully healthy Bresee destroys the play for no gain.
Lather, rinse, repeat. It’s gonna glorious because Meat will be playing teams with talent as good or better for the first time in his HC career.
Lol. This place. Still watching a 7-win Miami team from 3,000 away. You guys give the DWOOGs a run for their money in the WDWHA Olympics, and that is saying something.
He has taken the 69th ranked recruiting class to possibly breaking into the T20 and he hasn't even unpacked yet. He will do better at Miami than he did at Oregon. I'm confident of that. Whether it's 30 years ago or not is another matter. But he will have the horses in the stable for 30 years ago.
For those of you hoping to see him flop, my best guess is that you'll be sorely disappointed.
You’ve literally spent the last two years on here defending his shit on a stick football against Duck fans comments.
We Didn’t Want Him When He Was Here. That is inarguable.
As far as watching Miami from 3000 miles away, this is a story about an Oregon player leaving to go out there. How does that fall under some sort of Miami obsession thread?
You’re the one who was starting “Mario got a guy” threads on here after he was gone.
Lol. This place. Still watching a 7-win Miami team from 3,000 away. You guys give the DWOOGs a run for their money in the WDWHA Olympics, and that is saying something.
He has taken the 69th ranked recruiting class to possibly breaking into the T20 and he hasn't even unpacked yet. He will do better at Miami than he did at Oregon. I'm confident of that. Whether it's 30 years ago or not is another matter. But he will have the horses in the stable for 30 years ago.
For those of you hoping to see him flop, my best guess is that you'll be sorely disappointed.
Rarely disagree much with your takes, Creep.
Rarely root for someone to flop after leaving. Definitely not Ballz.
A+ recruiter. Love good O-Lines.
Game preparation and in-game adjustments - Rate him a C. He needs to step back; hire great OC’s; and GTF out of their way.
The whole game has changed with the NIL’s and the portal.
He may recruit great . . . Getting them there and keeping them are are two different things. Way different than 30 years ago.
Teams will no longer be able to hold players hostage for 4-5 years like 30 years ago.
Lol. This place. Still watching a 7-win Miami team from 3,000 away. You guys give the DWOOGs a run for their money in the WDWHA Olympics, and that is saying something.
He has taken the 69th ranked recruiting class to possibly breaking into the T20 and he hasn't even unpacked yet. He will do better at Miami than he did at Oregon. I'm confident of that. Whether it's 30 years ago or not is another matter. But he will have the horses in the stable for 30 years ago.
For those of you hoping to see him flop, my best guess is that you'll be sorely disappointed.
He will no longer have the best talent in the league. He lost to Utah in embarrassing fashion, twice. He can’t coach Creepy. Dabo will own him. In 3 years U fans will sound like Duck fan. I’m glad he’s gone. Dude is average at best on the sidelines.
Creepy, you brag about his class. He took 2 top 10 classes and got his ass handed to him by a Utah squad that doesn’t break top 30 on a consistent basis. Wake the hell up man.
Lol. This place. Still watching a 7-win Miami team from 3,000 away. You guys give the DWOOGs a run for their money in the WDWHA Olympics, and that is saying something.
He has taken the 69th ranked recruiting class to possibly breaking into the T20 and he hasn't even unpacked yet. He will do better at Miami than he did at Oregon. I'm confident of that. Whether it's 30 years ago or not is another matter. But he will have the horses in the stable for 30 years ago.
For those of you hoping to see him flop, my best guess is that you'll be sorely disappointed.
You know it’s relevant, entertaining, and also that the likeliest eventual outcome of this is failure.
Mario is a great recruiter, Miami recruits itself. Strength on strength = low ceiling. Miami’s last four or five classes have averaged top-15. They got the 8th and 11th class in back to back years. So he takes Miami from ~13th to ~8th. Talent hasn’t been the issue, they’ve never been worse than third in the ACC in team talent, and always top-20 nationally. Manny had them 13th in the country for 2021.
I give it four years, fired in the middle of the fifth at best. It won’t be his fault though. It’s just Miami. Since the twilight of Larry Helfrich in 2006 there have been three seasons they ended ranked. It’s just a shit program now, once the inherited QB and new coach smell wear off its back to 7-6.
By the Fiesta Bowel I knew. I tried to fool myself, but it was becoming obvious. I had actually wanted to keep him, because that’s good enough in this sad conference when potatoes are coaching nine or ten of the other programs. Link: https://hardcorehusky.com/discussion/comment/1441184
Lol. This place. Still watching a 7-win Miami team from 3,000 away. You guys give the DWOOGs a run for their money in the WDWHA Olympics, and that is saying something.
He has taken the 69th ranked recruiting class to possibly breaking into the T20 and he hasn't even unpacked yet. He will do better at Miami than he did at Oregon. I'm confident of that. Whether it's 30 years ago or not is another matter. But he will have the horses in the stable for 30 years ago.
For those of you hoping to see him flop, my best guess is that you'll be sorely disappointed.
You know it’s relevant, entertaining, and also that the likeliest eventual outcome of this is failure.
Mario is a great recruiter, Miami recruits itself. Strength on strength = low ceiling. Miami’s last four or five classes have averaged top-15. They got the 8th and 11th class in back to back years. So he takes Miami from ~13th to ~8th. Talent hasn’t been the issue, they’ve never been worse than third in the ACC in team talent, and always top-20 nationally. Manny had them 13th in the country for 2021.
I give it four years, fired in the middle of the fifth at best. It won’t be his fault though. It’s just Miami. Since the twilight of Larry Helfrich in 2006 there have been three seasons they ended ranked. It’s just a shit program now, once the inherited QB and new coach smell wear off its back to 7-6.
By the Fiesta Bowel I knew. I tried to fool myself, but it was becoming obvious. I had actually wanted to keep him, because that’s good enough in this sad conference when potatoes are coaching nine or ten of the other programs. Link: https://hardcorehusky.com/discussion/comment/1441184
Miami has been missing an competent offensive line for years. Years and years. I think Crisco is going to help with that. Miami has also lacked a physical running game for years and years. I think he'll help with that too. Miami has also lacked competent QB play for years, with just a one or two exceptions of competent, but hardly great.
The pieces have there for everything else but good O line recruiting and QBs. They've had plenty of really talented skill position guys, but you can't make that go without a QB and an O line. For the first time in a long time, they stand to have improvement in both areas.
As well as he recruited at Oregon, I think he has the potential to improve markedly on those classes at Miami, just because of where it is and its history.
If he learns anything from his last stop then he'll do better at Miami. One thing that he did poorly is stick with a generationally bad QB. After Buck I think he saw another 11 win season in front of him and didn't want to junk it with QB experimentation, which isn't a bad thought. But when the kid just kept worse, he should have should have benched him for good. I hope he learned from that mistake.
I see what he's trying to do. Georgia and Bama and LSU aren't beating the ever loving shit out of people because of scheme. Bigger punches. A physical ground game that you're unafraid to take anywhere is part of reaching the pinnacle. If he can get the elite O line and establish true physicality on offense, then no matter how much fun you all have with fake tuff guy jokes, it won't be a joke. He'll do well.
Mario made some curious decisions along the way in Oregon, no question. But you're forgetting that he did in fact inherit a program in disarray with no identity or sense of itself remaining other than being Washington's bitch again. He immediately turned that around.
Red Box bowl 7-6 win over MSU with a generational QB talent. Rose Bowl 28-27 win over UW with a generational QB talent. Fiesta Bowl 34-17 loss to ISU try hards first year w/o generational QB. Alamo Bowl 47-32 loss to OU w/o generational QB. Yes, this loss is all his because I'm not counting that blowout against BSU in Vegas against him.
The fact that the ISU and OU games were in year 3-4 tells you something. His team this year beat tOSU and them looked like crap for most of the season. Year 4 and his team was regressing. Maybe he was already in Miami by October. Who knows, but neither he nor his players were getting better. And he had very successful coordinators to guide him. Expect MOTS at Miami. More 4-5* will not make the difference. He's already proven that. Good luck in your head scratching frustration when he pounds it up the middle on 3/3 with 9 in the box.
Lol. This place. Still watching a 7-win Miami team from 3,000 away. You guys give the DWOOGs a run for their money in the WDWHA Olympics, and that is saying something.
He has taken the 69th ranked recruiting class to possibly breaking into the T20 and he hasn't even unpacked yet. He will do better at Miami than he did at Oregon. I'm confident of that. Whether it's 30 years ago or not is another matter. But he will have the horses in the stable for 30 years ago.
For those of you hoping to see him flop, my best guess is that you'll be sorely disappointed.
You know it’s relevant, entertaining, and also that the likeliest eventual outcome of this is failure.
Mario is a great recruiter, Miami recruits itself. Strength on strength = low ceiling. Miami’s last four or five classes have averaged top-15. They got the 8th and 11th class in back to back years. So he takes Miami from ~13th to ~8th. Talent hasn’t been the issue, they’ve never been worse than third in the ACC in team talent, and always top-20 nationally. Manny had them 13th in the country for 2021.
I give it four years, fired in the middle of the fifth at best. It won’t be his fault though. It’s just Miami. Since the twilight of Larry Helfrich in 2006 there have been three seasons they ended ranked. It’s just a shit program now, once the inherited QB and new coach smell wear off its back to 7-6.
By the Fiesta Bowel I knew. I tried to fool myself, but it was becoming obvious. I had actually wanted to keep him, because that’s good enough in this sad conference when potatoes are coaching nine or ten of the other programs. Link: https://hardcorehusky.com/discussion/comment/1441184
Miami has been missing an competent offensive line for years. Years and years. I think Crisco is going to help with that. Miami has also lacked a physical running game for years and years. I think he'll help with that too. Miami has also lacked competent QB play for years, with just a one or two exceptions of competent, but hardly great.
The pieces have there for everything else but good O line recruiting and QBs. They've had plenty of really talented skill position guys, but you can't make that go without a QB and an O line. For the first time in a long time, they stand to have improvement in both areas.
As well as he recruited at Oregon, I think he has the potential to improve markedly on those classes at Miami, just because of where it is and its history.
If he learns anything from his last stop then he'll do better at Miami. One thing that he did poorly is stick with a generationally bad QB. After Buck I think he saw another 11 win season in front of him and didn't want to junk it with QB experimentation, which isn't a bad thought. But when the kid just kept worse, he should have should have benched him for good. I hope he learned from that mistake.
I see what he's trying to do. Georgia and Bama and LSU aren't beating the ever loving shit out of people because of scheme. Bigger punches. A physical ground game that you're unafraid to take anywhere is part of reaching the pinnacle. If he can get the elite O line and establish true physicality on offense, then no matter how much fun you all have with fake tuff guy jokes, it won't be a joke. He'll do well.
Mario made some curious decisions along the way in Oregon, no question. But you're forgetting that he did in fact inherit a program in disarray with no identity or sense of itself remaining other than being Washington's bitch again. He immediately turned that around.
He left you all much better than he found you.
Imagine thinking this guy is a good O line coach when Oregon ranked 5th in rushing, in conference, pretty much every season he was at the helm. And, after Oregon basically spent the previous decade at #1.
Great stuff. By him and you.
Edit: The last two season were the worst and tied for worst showings in conference rushing going back to 2003 which was about as much as I could stomach so I stopped.
Lol. This place. Still watching a 7-win Miami team from 3,000 away. You guys give the DWOOGs a run for their money in the WDWHA Olympics, and that is saying something.
He has taken the 69th ranked recruiting class to possibly breaking into the T20 and he hasn't even unpacked yet. He will do better at Miami than he did at Oregon. I'm confident of that. Whether it's 30 years ago or not is another matter. But he will have the horses in the stable for 30 years ago.
For those of you hoping to see him flop, my best guess is that you'll be sorely disappointed.
Yup, he can recruit. No argument there... sadly that's all he can do...
Comments
I present to you the Polynesian herd hypothesis of noted Miami anthropoologist Poonose:
They are gonna be in for a world of disappointment when they realize what they got themselves into. They think that fatty is Penei Sewell. The Miami write up had him saying he chose them over the other team pursuing him, which was Washington lol.
Luckily for Mario he’s a better CEO than Willie, and Manny didn’t torch the place on his way out like that cuck Jimbo. So he might make it to year four there before Miami realizes it’s gonna remain a nobody forever.
Wait until they’re facing 3rd and 3 against Clempson and Meat wants to show Dabo how tuff his OL is and a fully healthy Bresee destroys the play for no gain.
Lather, rinse, repeat. It’s gonna glorious because Meat will be playing teams with talent as good or better for the first time in his HC career.
He has taken the 69th ranked recruiting class to possibly breaking into the T20 and he hasn't even unpacked yet. He will do better at Miami than he did at Oregon. I'm confident of that. Whether it's 30 years ago or not is another matter. But he will have the horses in the stable for 30 years ago.
For those of you hoping to see him flop, my best guess is that you'll be sorely disappointed.
You’ve literally spent the last two years on here defending his shit on a stick football against Duck fans comments.
We Didn’t Want Him When He Was Here. That is inarguable.
As far as watching Miami from 3000 miles away, this is a story about an Oregon player leaving to go out there. How does that fall under some sort of Miami obsession thread?
You’re the one who was starting “Mario got a guy” threads on here after he was gone.
Clean your shit up and try again.
Rarely root for someone to flop after leaving. Definitely not Ballz.
A+ recruiter. Love good O-Lines.
Game preparation and in-game adjustments - Rate him a C. He needs to step back; hire great OC’s; and GTF out of their way.
The whole game has changed with the NIL’s and the portal.
He may recruit great . . . Getting them there and keeping them are are two different things. Way different than 30 years ago.
Teams will no longer be able to hold players hostage for 4-5 years like 30 years ago.
Creepy, you brag about his class. He took 2 top 10 classes and got his ass handed to him by a Utah squad that doesn’t break top 30 on a consistent basis. Wake the hell up man.
Mario is a great recruiter, Miami recruits itself. Strength on strength = low ceiling. Miami’s last four or five classes have averaged top-15. They got the 8th and 11th class in back to back years. So he takes Miami from ~13th to ~8th. Talent hasn’t been the issue, they’ve never been worse than third in the ACC in team talent, and always top-20 nationally. Manny had them 13th in the country for 2021.
I give it four years, fired in the middle of the fifth at best. It won’t be his fault though. It’s just Miami. Since the twilight of Larry Helfrich in 2006 there have been three seasons they ended ranked. It’s just a shit program now, once the inherited QB and new coach smell wear off its back to 7-6.
By the Fiesta Bowel I knew. I tried to fool myself, but it was becoming obvious. I had actually wanted to keep him, because that’s good enough in this sad conference when potatoes are coaching nine or ten of the other programs. Link: https://hardcorehusky.com/discussion/comment/1441184
The pieces have there for everything else but good O line recruiting and QBs. They've had plenty of really talented skill position guys, but you can't make that go without a QB and an O line. For the first time in a long time, they stand to have improvement in both areas.
As well as he recruited at Oregon, I think he has the potential to improve markedly on those classes at Miami, just because of where it is and its history.
If he learns anything from his last stop then he'll do better at Miami. One thing that he did poorly is stick with a generationally bad QB. After Buck I think he saw another 11 win season in front of him and didn't want to junk it with QB experimentation, which isn't a bad thought. But when the kid just kept worse, he should have should have benched him for good. I hope he learned from that mistake.
I see what he's trying to do. Georgia and Bama and LSU aren't beating the ever loving shit out of people because of scheme. Bigger punches. A physical ground game that you're unafraid to take anywhere is part of reaching the pinnacle. If he can get the elite O line and establish true physicality on offense, then no matter how much fun you all have with fake tuff guy jokes, it won't be a joke. He'll do well.
Mario made some curious decisions along the way in Oregon, no question. But you're forgetting that he did in fact inherit a program in disarray with no identity or sense of itself remaining other than being Washington's bitch again. He immediately turned that around.
He left you all much better than he found you.
Red Box bowl 7-6 win over MSU with a generational QB talent.
Rose Bowl 28-27 win over UW with a generational QB talent.
Fiesta Bowl 34-17 loss to ISU try hards first year w/o generational QB.
Alamo Bowl 47-32 loss to OU w/o generational QB. Yes, this loss is all his because I'm not counting that blowout against BSU in Vegas against him.
The fact that the ISU and OU games were in year 3-4 tells you something. His team this year beat tOSU and them looked like crap for most of the season. Year 4 and his team was regressing. Maybe he was already in Miami by October. Who knows, but neither he nor his players were getting better. And he had very successful coordinators to guide him. Expect MOTS at Miami. More 4-5* will not make the difference. He's already proven that. Good luck in your head scratching frustration when he pounds it up the middle on 3/3 with 9 in the box.
Great stuff. By him and you.
Edit: The last two season were the worst and tied for worst showings in conference rushing going back to 2003 which was about as much as I could stomach so I stopped.
He’s was even worse than I thought.