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Houhusky
Member Posts: 5,537
I return Tanned, Ready, and Rested.
Massive milky mommy milkers.
Minor league football is off to a great start.
Jimmy bottom of the Lake strikes again.
The Grizzlieie is a ferocious animal.
Napalm finally fills the spider holes.
Tick… tick… tick…
My spider hole and I have been through a lot; Sachiko floods, @RaceBannon and @Idawg HHB, inviting @Tequilla a to the original, calls into live radio, Adding drinks to Softy’s tab while he was passed out as some bar after a game, bans from Ty practices, hosting the zombie board full of porn, watching nerds deliver cakes in the rain, Podcast golden age, the betrayal by little Jimmy and Chest, the sperging out about race, and watching the “character” coach quit in the middle of the job. It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.
Now as the jungle grows over my spider hole choking out the last bit of light, the punji sticks rotted away, and the fallen corpses of once comrades like Passion or Sven have succumbed to their own seppuku, Im left to wonder what is left?
Tick… tick… tick…
After the pointless fake half season, I figured I needed a pallet cleanser and disappeared into losing money day trading, making money back by gambling on politics, and pretending to work from home while mostly just jerking off all day and then showing up kinda drunk to zoom meetings. It was fun, and much like a delusional couple thinks that a “break” will save their marriage, I figured that a break from Husky football just might reignite the passion we once had together. The TAMU girl next door was appealing, and childhood friend UCLA has always been welcoming but I chose to return home… only to find my once love, UW, a fat bloated mess that somehow let itself go even further into the needle and sewage filled lake all while getting fancy feast’d by some guy from Dillon.
Tick… tick… tick…
Saturday… My wife drags me to some dumbfuck housewarming party where a bunch of adults brought their shitty loud kids to scream and be generally annoying. (How fucking pretentious do you have to be to throw a party for yourself because you bought yourself a house?) TBF my wife knows that if she lets me have a bit of harmless fun at these shitty forced events ill tag along and probably finish the bathroom renovation too. Also, because my wife isn’t an overprivileged white woman she thinks its funny when I flirt with other women (@meek RIP would know what I’m talking about) and there was a smoking 5’2, fit, new single mom with preggo titties. Those milkers had to be 15+ pounds of her 110 lb frame. She was a standard dumb blonde and prattled on about running marathons or something and I mentioned doing rowboat for a little bit and made up the title of some sports psychology book that I recommended (Endurance and Mind, or something equally fake but properly pretentious sounding). Easy hook set. As someone who once thought MILFs were fucking gross I have to admit that as I get older I find them more and more appealing.
Tick… tick… tick…
I drank as much as I could to drown out the loud ear-piercing screams of the children running around. The game time approached, and I was too drunk to figure out how to pay for the dumb fucking game. In my inebriated state the only solution was to call my father-in-law and ask for his login and password for the pac12 live feed. He is old and likes to facetime, so I went and found a quiet room and called. He is in the middle of telling me his password when out of nowhere, blonde Mommy Milkers blasts through the door, sits on my lap with her arm around me, sloppily hanging on me, tits already halfway out, and loudly and as drunk as possible yells into the phone “WHO ARE YOU TALKING TOO?”. He then very flatly said; “His father. In. law.” Well… that was the end of that, she immediately left pissed (I guess my wedding ring wasn’t warning enough?) and I covered by saying she was my good high school friend that just got invitro fertilization with her lesbian partner. I don’t think he believed it but he gave me the password and that seemed like a problem for future me. Plus, I’ve helped him get college softball games on his TV before so were basically even.
Tick… tick… tick…
Password in hand and Mommy milkers now shooting daggers from the other side of the room with many of the other women. I sat down on the couch next to some morbidly obese women scarfing down pizza (who of course was “health care worker”). Wife laughed her ass off, proceeded to get blitzed, and then bullied one of the wives to near tears for cheering for the 49er’s because that’s the team her dead dad cheered for.
As I watched UW struggle in the first half I knew they would find a way to lose. I sat on the couch with a highball full of bourbon and some ice annoying watching the shit game in a shit conference on a shit TV platform, and then some morbidly obese woman sat down next to me to just to start telling me how concerned she was about covid giving her long term health problems.... while at a house party and shoving a 6th pizza slice in her face and I felt nothing. NOTHING.
Tick… tick... tick…
There was a time when I would have gone back and watched the game or looked at the roster for answers, but I just can’t do it. Maybe a recruit who is a freshman can help us?! Break down how shitty Asa Turner is?! Yeah… right… I can’t care more about a program than the program cares about itself. I cant remember the game, a rewatch would probably be more work than Jimmy is putting in and Im sure that I could make better adjustments by throwing darts at a list of FCS coaches and putting them in charge.
The players clearly don’t give a fuck, the coaches don’t give a fuck, and the school doesn’t give a fuck. Most of football continues to divorce itself from the reality its customers live, all while acting more and more the victim and entitled. Minor league football has very clearly started, complete with an open free agency. NCAA football is slingshotting at warp speed past the shit show that is now college basketball.
I am left to wonder how much more do I have left? Im not going to commit seppuku like a coward, and this isn’t my last season, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t tired. The glow on the horizon isn’t the sunrise, that is just the glow from the bombs being dropped as operation rolling thunder continues.
Petersen is a quitter pussy, Jimmy isn’t the guy, Jen has been a failure worse that Todd Turner and Woodward combined. There is no actual end or silver lining. Jimmy had been one of the best positions coaches in college football and the guy can’t even just get his one position specialty to recruit and play well now? My only conclusion must be that Jimmy secured the bag and then fucked off on the caring and doing stuff part. He probably did the same thing I did with my work during the covid lockdowns… No savior assistant is going to come and help a fucktard that runs his mouth without backing anything up, he has no coaching tree or connections. There is no buy out possibility, there is no plan, and most depressingly no one seems to really care. I sat in the 0-12 stadium; the program is in a worse spot now. There is less urgency to do better, and less belief UW can ever pull out of its shitfest ceiling of mediocrity. UW mostly just wishes it were Stanford or Cal. O/U 5 years until WE trot out a female kicker.
The only hope (lol) is that Jimmy has some pride left and takes it personally that the few fans left think he is a giant incompetent chromosome collecting pussy, he is young enough and could rip everything apart and turn things around if he actually committed to sleeping in the office and putting in the work he used to put in with the DBs.
Irregardless its all a mute poont.
As the napalm rises in my spider hole all I have to look forward to is the fact that at least I wont die cold.
Tick…tick…tick…
https://youtu.be/i43xxh09d40?t=20
Massive milky mommy milkers.
Minor league football is off to a great start.
Jimmy bottom of the Lake strikes again.
The Grizzlieie is a ferocious animal.
Napalm finally fills the spider holes.
Tick… tick… tick…
My spider hole and I have been through a lot; Sachiko floods, @RaceBannon and @Idawg HHB, inviting @Tequilla a to the original, calls into live radio, Adding drinks to Softy’s tab while he was passed out as some bar after a game, bans from Ty practices, hosting the zombie board full of porn, watching nerds deliver cakes in the rain, Podcast golden age, the betrayal by little Jimmy and Chest, the sperging out about race, and watching the “character” coach quit in the middle of the job. It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.
Now as the jungle grows over my spider hole choking out the last bit of light, the punji sticks rotted away, and the fallen corpses of once comrades like Passion or Sven have succumbed to their own seppuku, Im left to wonder what is left?
Tick… tick… tick…
After the pointless fake half season, I figured I needed a pallet cleanser and disappeared into losing money day trading, making money back by gambling on politics, and pretending to work from home while mostly just jerking off all day and then showing up kinda drunk to zoom meetings. It was fun, and much like a delusional couple thinks that a “break” will save their marriage, I figured that a break from Husky football just might reignite the passion we once had together. The TAMU girl next door was appealing, and childhood friend UCLA has always been welcoming but I chose to return home… only to find my once love, UW, a fat bloated mess that somehow let itself go even further into the needle and sewage filled lake all while getting fancy feast’d by some guy from Dillon.
Tick… tick… tick…
Saturday… My wife drags me to some dumbfuck housewarming party where a bunch of adults brought their shitty loud kids to scream and be generally annoying. (How fucking pretentious do you have to be to throw a party for yourself because you bought yourself a house?) TBF my wife knows that if she lets me have a bit of harmless fun at these shitty forced events ill tag along and probably finish the bathroom renovation too. Also, because my wife isn’t an overprivileged white woman she thinks its funny when I flirt with other women (@meek RIP would know what I’m talking about) and there was a smoking 5’2, fit, new single mom with preggo titties. Those milkers had to be 15+ pounds of her 110 lb frame. She was a standard dumb blonde and prattled on about running marathons or something and I mentioned doing rowboat for a little bit and made up the title of some sports psychology book that I recommended (Endurance and Mind, or something equally fake but properly pretentious sounding). Easy hook set. As someone who once thought MILFs were fucking gross I have to admit that as I get older I find them more and more appealing.
Tick… tick… tick…
I drank as much as I could to drown out the loud ear-piercing screams of the children running around. The game time approached, and I was too drunk to figure out how to pay for the dumb fucking game. In my inebriated state the only solution was to call my father-in-law and ask for his login and password for the pac12 live feed. He is old and likes to facetime, so I went and found a quiet room and called. He is in the middle of telling me his password when out of nowhere, blonde Mommy Milkers blasts through the door, sits on my lap with her arm around me, sloppily hanging on me, tits already halfway out, and loudly and as drunk as possible yells into the phone “WHO ARE YOU TALKING TOO?”. He then very flatly said; “His father. In. law.” Well… that was the end of that, she immediately left pissed (I guess my wedding ring wasn’t warning enough?) and I covered by saying she was my good high school friend that just got invitro fertilization with her lesbian partner. I don’t think he believed it but he gave me the password and that seemed like a problem for future me. Plus, I’ve helped him get college softball games on his TV before so were basically even.
Tick… tick… tick…
Password in hand and Mommy milkers now shooting daggers from the other side of the room with many of the other women. I sat down on the couch next to some morbidly obese women scarfing down pizza (who of course was “health care worker”). Wife laughed her ass off, proceeded to get blitzed, and then bullied one of the wives to near tears for cheering for the 49er’s because that’s the team her dead dad cheered for.
As I watched UW struggle in the first half I knew they would find a way to lose. I sat on the couch with a highball full of bourbon and some ice annoying watching the shit game in a shit conference on a shit TV platform, and then some morbidly obese woman sat down next to me to just to start telling me how concerned she was about covid giving her long term health problems.... while at a house party and shoving a 6th pizza slice in her face and I felt nothing. NOTHING.
Tick… tick... tick…
There was a time when I would have gone back and watched the game or looked at the roster for answers, but I just can’t do it. Maybe a recruit who is a freshman can help us?! Break down how shitty Asa Turner is?! Yeah… right… I can’t care more about a program than the program cares about itself. I cant remember the game, a rewatch would probably be more work than Jimmy is putting in and Im sure that I could make better adjustments by throwing darts at a list of FCS coaches and putting them in charge.
The players clearly don’t give a fuck, the coaches don’t give a fuck, and the school doesn’t give a fuck. Most of football continues to divorce itself from the reality its customers live, all while acting more and more the victim and entitled. Minor league football has very clearly started, complete with an open free agency. NCAA football is slingshotting at warp speed past the shit show that is now college basketball.
I am left to wonder how much more do I have left? Im not going to commit seppuku like a coward, and this isn’t my last season, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t tired. The glow on the horizon isn’t the sunrise, that is just the glow from the bombs being dropped as operation rolling thunder continues.
Petersen is a quitter pussy, Jimmy isn’t the guy, Jen has been a failure worse that Todd Turner and Woodward combined. There is no actual end or silver lining. Jimmy had been one of the best positions coaches in college football and the guy can’t even just get his one position specialty to recruit and play well now? My only conclusion must be that Jimmy secured the bag and then fucked off on the caring and doing stuff part. He probably did the same thing I did with my work during the covid lockdowns… No savior assistant is going to come and help a fucktard that runs his mouth without backing anything up, he has no coaching tree or connections. There is no buy out possibility, there is no plan, and most depressingly no one seems to really care. I sat in the 0-12 stadium; the program is in a worse spot now. There is less urgency to do better, and less belief UW can ever pull out of its shitfest ceiling of mediocrity. UW mostly just wishes it were Stanford or Cal. O/U 5 years until WE trot out a female kicker.
The only hope (lol) is that Jimmy has some pride left and takes it personally that the few fans left think he is a giant incompetent chromosome collecting pussy, he is young enough and could rip everything apart and turn things around if he actually committed to sleeping in the office and putting in the work he used to put in with the DBs.
Irregardless its all a mute poont.
As the napalm rises in my spider hole all I have to look forward to is the fact that at least I wont die cold.
Tick…tick…tick…
https://youtu.be/i43xxh09d40?t=20
Tagged:
Comments
You can get sent to the gulag for mistakes like this.
The stuff about the fat chick with pizza sauce and pepperoni bits drizzled on her cleavage (that's my addition to the story) was pretty captivating, almost erotic.
I can't wait for football season so we can talk about things that matter though.
You like fat? You have a couple hundred bucks?